lady_maria

A rant. FYI, this post might be a but triggering for some.

She called about ADHD. She was renewing her nursing license (though she's retired) and said she took a course on adult ADHD. She said she felt bad that she has been so ignorant about it, and that she didn’t know I was suffering all this time.

I didn't, but I wanted to say, "what the fuck do you mean you didn't know??? How????"

I literally requested help for it at like 13, but the doctor gave up on it immediately after I was on Concerta for just a few weeks because I was FORGETTING TO TAKE IT (??????). She said, "you're just depressed and anxious". Okay??? As if it's impossible to have ADHD too???

Never mind the fact that when the doctor dismissed me the first time, it took me crying to get her to even consider it the first place.

My parents didn't even say anything when she took me off of Concerta and reiterated that she thought i just had depression and anxiety. They just accepted it even though I KNEW I had it. I did the research, because no one else was going to, clearly. And I knew my feelings usually weren't taken seriously, anyway.

I was finally able to get medicated just recently. I'm 32. I appreciate her trying now, but I needed help then. My life could've been so much different if I hadn't been easily and frequently dismissed.

Apparently, the PC I was given by my employer less than a year ago is too out of date (uses Windows 10) and I have to have Windows 11 now for security reasons. I have a gaming PC, but it's my partner's, too, and it'd be a huge waste of its power and graphics card, plus it'd have to be moved. I really don't want to do that.

A new company owns the company I work for now, but still. This is not what I agreed to. Ugh. I'm so annoyed.

It's not that expensive, really ($200), but it's the principle of the matter. How long will it be before they force me to do this again, anyway??? I already get paid a shit wage.

One day I'll mod this game, along with the other souls games, but for now...

MC Hammer is watching you.

No filters were used; I promise. The colors look "normal" when it's (fire*) storming. Feel free to visit my base—a WIP—if you're in the area!

*edit: I was wrong. They're super-heated rainstorms

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I was crossing a crosswalk early this morning on my way to the bus stop for work, while the walk sign was on, and the driver turned left onto a main road from a stop light and smashed into my left side. I was later told that I "flew up into the air".

It was all very much a blur and I was pretty dizzy and out of it at first, but no head trauma. Some kind lady who said she was a nurse ran to help me up and to the side of the road, and the cops and ambulance came pretty fast (I think, at least).

I was taken to the hospital and was told that I fractured my humerus head (left shoulder). They told me I may not need surgery, but we'll see what the orthopedic surgeon says during my follow-up appointment in a few days. Other than that, I just have a bunch of scrapes and bruises.

Overall, while I'm in quite a bit of pain, I'm grateful because it could've been way worse. My SO and parents are pushing to sue for pain/suffering, which I was hesitant to do until I read (online) that I wouldn't be suing the person who hit me, but their insurance company), so I guess that'll probably happen. They already found me a lawyer.

I truly have no ill-will toward that person because shit happens, it was dark, and they got out of the car immediately to call 911, so it's not like they didn't do what was right when it came down to it. I'm sure they're traumatized, and that their insurance payment will go way up... which I feel a little bad about given the state of the US rn. But I guess I don't have any control over that.

Honestly, while the whole thing was obviously pretty traumatic for me, too—and I keep replaying that moment in my head—I think I'd rather get hit by a car than hit someone with my car.