kaerypheur

“No, Karen, I won’t hack your WiFi.”

Based on my experience rejoining the fediverse recently, it's just like my continuous attempts since 2017 to replace the Windows operating system with Linux. I have explored many distributions and tried to distro hop multiple times in search of an operating system suitable for my ancient laptop hardware. There are so many new applications with different names and command lines that I continuously wonder what they are, using search engines, and I have often considered going back to the Windows operating system because I can't play Minecraft Bedrock Edition and Roblox, as those games no longer support Wine. However, now that I have grown up, I realize that I don't need those fancy apps and games that actually ask for more money instead of knowledge and fair use, treating me as a product or forcing me to be their customer.

The same goes for my recent switch to the fediverse. I tried to join the fediverse because the Vivaldi web browser recommended their instance called Vivaldi Social, and the local media informed me that there is a decentralized competitor to Twitter or Elon Musk's platform. Additionally, an app store on my Android recommended me Lemmy client apps because that large Reddit site began charging its users money to fully enjoy their content without ads, which became controversial.

So, this is a new beginning for me. I find it hard to replace my data collection-based platforms with decentralized ones like the fediverse or ActivityPub, but for now, I will make sure to minimize my data and exposure to those centralized apps and engage in more privacy-respecting platforms. There are so many client apps for the fediverse.

When engagement becomes a business transaction.

I am an individualist. It's strange to be an individualist, because, for example, when you are a college student, you often feel alienated when almost everyone else has friends or close friends in groups, while you are the only one who enjoys walking and eating alone. It feels alienating almost all the time. And what's worse, someone tried to gaslight me: 'Why are you sitting there alone? Come here and sit with them,' enjoying sitting with people who make me uncomfortable every time. Being alone isn’t loneliness—it’s just the way I feel most at peace. Yet, society keeps questioning it. #IndividualistLife #SoloJourney #Alienation #IndependentMind #CollegeLife #WalkingAlone #EatingAlone #SocialPressure #IntrovertStruggles #GaslightingAwareness #PersonalFreedom

Trying to escape Google's ecosystem, but past purchases keep pulling me back. #DeGoogled #GoogleLockIn #PrivacyStruggles #TechDilemma #FOSS #DigitalFreedom #AndroidAlternatives

I feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore.

I feel like my life has come to an end.

There's nothing I can do to keep making myself happy and enjoy.

Growing up in Malaysia during the 2000s, many of us remember watching "Hikayat Putera Shazlan", a local TV series filled with magical adventures, moral values, and fantasy elements. But as I look back, I realize there’s a much deeper layer to this story—one that quietly reflects the hidden struggles of vulnerable children, trauma, and emotional survival.

The story follows Shazlan, an orphaned boy sent to live with his aunt, Mak Som, who subjects him to daily emotional abuse. She represents the cold, manipulative family member many children fear—someone who treats you like a burden while masking it with societal norms like "family responsibility." Yet, despite the mistreatment, Shazlan never tells his father.

On the surface, it looks like a tale of loyalty and patience. But digging deeper, it reflects a reality many of us grew up with—silence in the face of abuse, fearing that speaking up will make things worse. Maybe Shazlan stayed quiet not because he accepted the abuse, but because he feared retaliation or breaking the fragile bond he had left with his father.

One of the most fascinating elements is the "magic book" Shazlan finds. As a child, I saw it as just part of the fantasy. But now, I view it differently. The magic book could symbolize Shazlan’s psychosis symptoms or coping mechanism—his mind creating voices and guidance when no one else cared. The book offered him advice, solutions, and comfort when the adults around him failed. For a child isolated in pain, hallucinating a protective force is not uncommon. It’s survival. It’s resilience.

During that era, mental health awareness was minimal. People assumed therapy was only for the "crazy," and counselors often lacked professionalism, sometimes gossiping instead of helping. Children like Shazlan were left with no safe space, forced to depend on their own minds to survive—imagining magical help, voices, and escapes.

Shazlan’s story speaks of the quiet endurance many Malaysian children knew too well. "Jangan buka aib keluarga"—never expose the family's shame. So we learned to carry our pain in silence, pretending everything was fine.

As I reflect, "Hikayat Putera Shazlan" is no longer just a children’s fantasy show to me. It is a silent, unintentional commentary on childhood trauma, resilience, and how our minds find ways to cope when the world refuses to protect us.

To anyone who grew up feeling unheard or unseen, you are not alone. And sometimes, our imaginations were never just fantasies—they were the only safe place we had.

• Written by Kalvin

Me on the Fediverse, or specifically Lemmy, trying not to depend on the number of upvotes and downvotes for my instant and temporary happiness, as well as my mental health problems that arose from downvotes.

How did you guys get your fediverse real-time notifications to work, pushed directly into your phone's notifications section? It seems that at the moment, I am using the Summit app, which claims that it checks every 15 minutes. However, my Summit app doesn't work in real-time, possibly because my phone is old, even though I have turned off battery optimization. Currently, I rely on my email services to receive notifications from my fediverse social accounts.