Vinny_93

Utrecht, Nederland

I work in data and we are pretty much just a Microsoft implementation factory. That's gonna be difficult to just swing around.

But besides Microsoft, I'm fine on products. We rarely have stuff from the US.

It's difficult to say, really. It's a form of acceptance. Accepting that you are who you are, taking things at face value rather than second-guessing everything you hear. I've got a decent head on my shoulders and feel more confident in my own abilities.

It wasn't until I decided to call in sick from work last September. It was not a great winter to get through and taking a long, hard look at myself, my environment and my past was a very painful process.

I've been pretty aware of the fact that I was in need of psychological help since somewhere around 2018. Since then I've taken one step, in 2018, but didn't follow through. I muddled my way through my last year of college, graduated, worked at a small publisher for about 3 years before moving to my current employer, moved, had a lot of personal stuff going on...

The step I took last September, to basically hit the brakes, was a turning point for me. But it took until the end of February to actually feel like I was on my way back up.

So in short: it's pretty much all about confidence. Once you've accepted yourself for who you are, you'll no longer feel like a burden to others. You'll most likely also realize that people don't often judge you without telling you stuff. After you've had an interaction, there is no need to wonder 'oh I wonder what they'll think of me, what will they think of me saying this or that'. Your overthinking will slow down a bit.

Couple of caveats:

• I am very aware of the priviliges I have gotten along my life and I understand not everyone can just call in sick for a year and get full medical support from their jobs, or be able to just freewheel through college;
• I am still a long ways from where I need to be and I'm starting both therapy with a psychologist and something called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in group form.

I have a colleague who actually behaves in a way that I recognized right away. It is something I used to do a lot; talking like I was a burden on others, like the time people spent with me was time lost for them.

It takes finding out a root cause to stop this. Me, I'm a perfectionist. This manifests through me being a people pleaser: I hold myself to really high social standards and expect others to also set the bar high for me. I really don't like it when people are disappointed by my actions, so that causes me to apologize more than necessary.

I've taken stock of my life the last six months and made a lot of progress on this front.

The best thing she can do to change her behavior is acknowledging she has an issue to begin with. As long is she is happy with her current behavior and you are not, the only thing you can do is explore why she feels the need to be like this and see if she can alter her behavior without distancing herself from who she is.

The Night Agent. It was a proper good show until out of nowhere they started eating each other's face. Completely unnecessary and it made the second season way more predictable.

Meh Nederland is al behoorlijk veramerikaniseerd. Ik denk dat er voldoende struisvogelpolitiek wordt toegepast hier.

Daarnaast is Nederland nooit echt een land geweest dat op haar principes gaat staan als het er zelf niet beter van wordt. Ik vermoed dat het een flinke geste van de VS gaat kosten om eens stil te staan bij onze afhankelijkheden.

Ik heb wel geïnventariseerd wat ik allemaal aan VS-spul en -dienst gebruik. Naast het onvermijdelijke (Windows, Android, Hollywood-series en -films) is er vrij veel Azië en Europa aanwezig op techgebied.

Nederland zal op het moment inzetten op een Trump-impeachment en verbetering vanaf 2028. In het geval dat dat niet gebeurt, gaan we vanzelf achter Frankrijk of Duitsland aan wandelen.

Thanks. I'm already back to 20 hours a week so it's going in the right direction

I dropped out in September due to burn-out issues. My health care insurance pays for 9 psychology sessions and supplies me a list of possible therapists.

However my company has a contract with a company health service which is an external party which is not allowed to share anything with my employer and it just signed for 12 intensive therapy sessions in my region combined with group acceptance therapy sessions.

The whole process was a breeze, too. Everything made super easy. I can only commend them for doing this. It has made me seriously consider not switching jobs.

This whole thing reads as though the writer feels Le Pen didn't really do anything wrong, but is being made an example of for having a different opinion.

I feel like we read a lot of things about far right populists claiming they are being actively prevented from practicing politics due to things they say, but then something comes out about what scumbags they really are.

Pretty much the only thing these populists have to defend themselves is whataboutism. I figured the trias politica would always make sure independent forces could keep these kinds of folks in check. This means

The law should always be applied.

Which begs the question: what happens when these guys do get to power, change the laws to their own liking, somehow get it pushed through...

I would go to the Azores and see what it would take to stay there. I've always found the vibe in coastal regions more agreeable and I've heard good things about the Azores. No need to worry about currency as it is part of Portugal so Euro zone. The weather is fine, not too hot, not too cold. Areas are beautiful.

Only thing is that it might cease to be above water if the seas keep rising.

Just an anecdote of something that happened mere minutes ago: I was at the supermarket and we have this plastic bottle recycling system where you pay for the package and you get it back once you hand in the bottle at the supermarket. You'll receive a kind of coupon with a bar code.

Some older dude before me handed in some bottles and got out of the way quickly because I was in line behind him. I noticed that he forgot his coupon but he walked off rather quickly. He stopped pretty close to the machine so I handed in my three bottles and took his coupon and my own. I then sought him out and gave him his coupon.

It was just a very simple thing for me, it was his ticket, I knew it was his and I could find him easily so giving him his coupon was a no-brainer. It was only for 75 cents but that doesn't really matter.

He was very surprised and happy with my action.

It got me thinking. What would the situation have called for in order for me to behave differently. Would I not have returned his wallet packed with cash if he'd dropped it? No. So the amount of money is not the issue. Would I not have sought him out if he had moved further away from the collection machine? Maybe. I would've taken the ticket and moved around a bit to see if I could find him. Would I not have gone through the trouble if it was anyone other than an older gentleman? Not really.

So in short: you can always do the right thing in these situations, no matter if the parameters are slightly different.

I was told that being cheeky wouldn't get you far, cutting in line was wrong, being nice to people would make life easier. Turns out being selfish is pretty much the best way to survive.