PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S

cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/17732397

Rule

It's sand

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/21742062

A reminder for the liberals who seem to be finding this space and spamming us with "gotchas" like anarchist spaces having rules or anarchists talking about banning stuff.

These questions have already been answered hundreds of times and debating each and every one of you individually is simply too much work and just not very fun.

Note that anarchists are not a monolith and nothing here is set in stone, but IMO it's a pretty well-researched guide for contemporary anarchist thought.

I'm autistic. This problem shows up for me all over the place, to the point that I typically don't recommend reading anymore except when strictly necessary. However, it is showing up now because I'm working with people on a project (and generally everyone I have worked with at school so far) who will not read, particularly documentation for tools and programs, data sheets, and application notes. How do I get people "up to speed" if they refuse to read the things I send them?

Some concepts are simply too complex or too lengthy for me to explain correctly in a real conversation. It's really the fact that nobody seems to want to read in any field of endeavor suggests that it's something wrong with me and how I perceive things.

It's one of those "self-loathing days" so this track is particularly fitting.

Transcription: Four-panel Gru's Plan meme. 1st panel: "Decide to make a Gru's Plan meme." 2nd panel: "Come up with a sick punchline." 3rd panel: "Make the last two panels different." 4th panel: "Get lots of downvotes for some reason."

I'm fucking tired of explaining to business ghouls that I AM FUCKING DESPERATE. I'M INTERVIEWING WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO SURVIVE. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY DREAMS OR WHETHER THIS JOB OR YOUR COMPANY LINES UP WITH MY CAREER GOALS. WE ARE HOLY-SHIT PAST THE POINT WHERE I'M ABLE TO BE CHOOSY. ALL YOU FUCKING NEED TO DO IS READ THE FUCKING RESUMÉ THAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR GOD-DAMNED EYES, ASK ABOUT MY QUALIFICATIONS, AND TELL ME WHETHER OR NOT I'M A GOOD FIT.

NO, your company isn't special to me, and it isn't special to ANYONE but you and your business-ghoul friends. Your company is merely the LABEL that will decorate my paycheck and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE, AND I'M SICK OF PRETENDING OTHERWISE.

And WHY the FUCK are you calling me to literally REPEAT SHIT YOU'RE TOO FUCKING IGNORANT TO READ ON THE GOD-DAMNED FUCKING RESUMÉ?

I've applied for at least 200 engineering jobs (I recounted the ones on job sites; but even that's nowhere near all of them) this year and gotten zero offers. This job search is LITERALLY DRIVING ME INSANE, because I can no longer fucking afford antidepressants and I'm on the verge of blowing up in people's faces all the goddamn fucking time. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

Try [insert nearby industry here]

Funny story: turns out, there are people who studied for degrees in those nearby industries. No I can't land a software developer, data scientist, IT, etc., job, because (1) I've applied for all those several times and not even gotten an interview and (2) my school produces students who actually studied those topics as a major!

So thank you genuinely to the dozens of people who have recommended that, I really do appreciate the help ... but that only works if you're an appealing candidate in general.

Why are you unhirable?

Bad GPA (~2.8; many firms have hard cutoff > 3 or 3.1), no experience/internships, no support/professional network, recent downward trajectory on transcript, autistic, mentally ill getting more unstable by the day, terrible attitude that's impossible to fully hide, no charisma to accommodate for my deficiencies, no access to a time machine. I KNOW how I got here, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

At least when I worked in food delivery I managed to make non-trivial money. AT LEAST I WAS HAPPY while being exploited. Now I'm thousands of dollars in debt, literally a hundred pounds heavier, psychologically and emotionally BROKEN, and no closer to getting a real job than I was before.

I was actually going to write a fresh post, but then I realized that a lot hasn't changed since the last time I posted here. Here's the old post if you're interested.

Short version: I cannot find employment at all in my field (electrical engineering). It's not "we're not hiring", it's "we're not hiring you." I need to pay bills. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from being so close to poverty for so long.

What has changed:

• I have been through about 10 interviews. Furthest I've gotten in one company's hiring process is to 2nd interview. Rather than 30 applications, I have filled out over 150 applications, but I've honestly lost track. No offers. I have exhausted all the entry-level engineering opportunities my college's job board has to offer. I literally have to wait for new jobs to be posted because I applied for everything. The problem is that I don't have experience. My resumé is fine (probably) as it gets me interviews, but I simply do not have engineering experience. I am fully convinced that no engineering firm will hire me in my current state.

• I ran out of meds about a month ago, so I feel a lot more irritable. My parents have offered to pay for a psych appointment and meds, but like...once. I will take it, but I'm waiting until I know for sure I can get more meds by the time I run out.

• To my absolute shock, I was accepted to pursue a master's degree at my alma mater, and the Financial Aid department has assured me that I qualify for financial aid. So at least I'm allowed to...go into further debt for further education. Yay.

Now if capitalism [1] were not an issue, I would immediately pounce at the opportunity to do a masters degree. I enjoy learning and if I thought I could choose, I would go into research. However, I gotta pay the rent (even and especially if I live with my parents), I gotta eat, and I gotta pay back the loans. Even if I go with the degree, I have to make money to pay the rent while I'm in school.

My degree is/would be in electrical engineering. I always told myself I'd be able to get a job after all this, I always told myself I picked a "safe" major. But I can't do this anymore. I can't be constantly living on the edge of poverty like this. And the fucking interviewers are starting to ask about the gap in my work history since I fucking graduated. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU STUPID FUCKS WON'T LET ME GET EXPERIENCE?!?!? I wish I never went back to fucking school and I fucking hate my life.

[1] Not looking to proselytize or debate politics, but I'm not sure how else to explain to people what economic impulses force me and most other humans to act against our interests. If it bothers you, replace "capitalism" with whatever you think is responsible for making ordinary people act against their economic interests.

I've been reading this book lately, although I'm not finished yet.

It's basically a "second course" of matrix algebra that uses the full-rank factorization and the Moore-Penrose pseudoinverse to construct other generalized inverses and prove cool stuff about matrices. I initially borrowed a copy from the library for its extensive coverage of the Jordan decomposition (whose existence was really important for my control systems coursework), but I actually bought a copy as a reference because I found myself thumbing through it all the time. Although it is mostly theoretical, all the algorithms are covered sufficiently to do everything on paper if you wanted to.

If this isn't in the spirit of the community please let me know.