Ask Lemmy

I am certainly not in your target demographic, and personally yeah it would be a turnoff but it would be really stupid for you to try to change and be unhappy - you don't need everyone to appreciate you in a romantic way, you only need a few admirers, right?

Looking at the people my kids date (more likely your age) they don't seem to have the preference for "manly men", none of them. They like guys who are not afraid to be soft, not afraid to wear nail polish or look 'girly' or whatever, they seem to find guys who do the Masculine thing actively off-putting. So you are in a good cultural moment I'd say. I think you will do fine being yourself, also never think it's a weakness to be gentle and caring. Most people want to be taken care of to some extent, just make sure this isn't a one-way thing, you take care of them too.

As someone who is probably 3x your age and has been around the block a few times in some non-standard social circles, let me assure you there are plenty of women out there looking for exactly what you described yourself as. Are they the majority of , probably not, but who cares? You aren't looking to date 500 people, just 1.

Be yourself and go find her.

You are living during the time of masculine emancipation my friend. Men are allowed to be cute af these days and more and more women are catching on that this is a good thing. Some of the guys I know who register this way have found a lot of success dating in the non-binary scene where gender expectations are more generally negotiable. Non-binary circles are encircled with exterior connections of cis communities who have a more dynamic understanding of gender so if you are in a market to find likeminded souls that's where I would look.

And also... Cute is sexy. It's not everyone's vibe but there's definitely a desire out there for true gentlemen emphasis on the gentle. Most of the cis ones I know are married to ride or die partners whom exude an aura of sweetness out to 20ft.

I didn't have the guts to post when I first read this, but as someone who like Hello Kitty, Power Puff Girls, Totally Spies, and many other cute things, it feels pretty damn good knowing I'm not alone. Your post is very relatable to me. Society paints this weird picture, I think—but damn, so what if I think it would be nice if a girl wanted to give ME flowers? I like flowers!

Fuck society, @[email protected] ! Let's live our way!

Thanks for making my week. 🙂

Well, I find it atractive when a man doenst want to fit gender roles

I'm a guy, I find Tomboyish woman hot as fuck!

Though to talk about the views of the other gender:

Literal womanizer, that is all that needs to be said.

Also this guy, who frequently cross dresses and is constantly mentioned as having "otherworldly beauty"

Need another example?

Bro, I'd love to change with you. I tend to be the opposite, I fear I often come off as aggressive and rude when in fact I am only pissed off at a computer for beeping the wrong way all week.

You say you have some (good) friends, have you considered just asking that? "How do you perceive me, I worry I look ?"

I have an ex who is like you, and i love that about him, it is one of his most attractive qualities.. we are still besties but didnt work out due to me figuring out my identity as primarily being attracted to femme people (yes i think thats why i loved him so much lol) but he was not into presenting that way. Also i was becoming more and more masc and he's straight.

Now that i think about it, this might be the opposite of encouraging lmao...hopefully mine was just a fringe case, but honestly the only reason i would ever choose to do it differently if i could, would be because he would have those ywars back to find the right person. I don't regret the relationship and he's one of my dearest friends.

Anyyway, im high as fuck and im gonna go watch tv with my girl. Lol

I only have one piece of advice from my experiences: be your authentic self and dont be afraid to open yourself to others. If you do, the right people tend to just show up. its honestly magical. Good luck to you. :)

As a man, men think women care about looks more than they do.

Looks are much bigger for men than for women.

Obviously a massive generalisation, but in general. Like "men are physically stronger than women". Not all men are stronger than women but...

Anyway.

Looks really don't matter that much. I'd say women pay more attention to personality with the same difference as there is between how much men value looks vs how women value looks.

Also, if I was being very crude, I'd say "status" is the "looks" for women. That's what you get very beautiful women with older rich men more than you do young hot men with old riches women.

But I'd like not to be crude so disregard that last bit.

There's someone out there for everyone. I wish you luck finding them.

Absolutely brother!

Cute? like a baby turtle!!

Most people are attracted to others or not attracted to other based on visual information and pheromone information. Then secondarily, people become more or less attracted to someone based on personality.

So if your personality is not dominant and comes across as submissive or mild, that really probably has zero impact at all on the initial attraction of others.

you just need more cool friends. feminine men are out there dating lesbians all the time.

You do you, it's the only true ay to be happy. You'll attract women that were raised in a family where the wife took on a more dominant role and the father was a chill laid back guy. In my experience it's inevitable, we're made up of our parents DNA.

Gonna put this out there because nobody else has said it but you might want to glance over at @[email protected] and see how things relate to you. You are perfectly within your rights to be a lesbian if you would prefer that.

You can, but overall women won’t appreciate it. For all the talk, nearly every couple you see outside is conventional.

So you’ll be looking at 1% of your dating pool, and having to find a suitable match from that reduced choice.

Sure, you can be whatever kind of man you want. You probably won’t find a lot of … “conventionally attractive” women who are into that though

This is how you end up in an abusive relationship....