this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2025
59 points (100.0% liked)

Asklemmy

47150 readers
466 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Edit: I don't mean someone that will sacrifice their life for yours, more someone who would go out of their way to rush you to the hospital or something

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

just a few and that's ok. people will make good and bad things and there are a few with whom you'll really get along with. keep them close.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

"Good" or "trust my life with"? The two can be mutually exclusive. If I was in the wrong, would a good person defend me?

I've met a few people with genuinely good morals in my life. They do exist and are almost incorruptible. Most people are flexible in that we can make justifications for almost anything.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I have trusted humans in the past. They have always failed me. Humans are not to be trusted. Just look at the state of the terrarium we live in.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Good? Many The other is completely different thing independent of being 'a good person'

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I think the number is a lot higher and the barrier of trust a lot lower than people think.

If you come across a vehicle accident and you are able to help someone generally people don’t even think and just take action to save another persons life.

In reactionary scenarios where direct intervention saves someone’s life, people help a lot more than you’d think.

As a species we generally have a bypass in our brains that makes us want to help others in desperate need.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

There are a lot of people who would rush me to the hospital but also voted to take away my rights and worse. I don't know if I believe in good people these days.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Zero. Become partially disabled for over a decade and you might understand. Sometimes surviving is worse than dying. You might become a different person you might not, but you will likely discover how everyone in your life is largely there in relative orbits. If you get knocked out of the stellar system, what you thought of as the planets that grounded your social world will not leave the star to chase after you no matter how much you need them to.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I didn't expect an astrophysics analogy when I opened this post but good one

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Having been through a bad health situation, I understand what you mean. Not even my own parents supported me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

That's terrible.
They are the only ones that are supposed to help you.
Also the people you consider real friends can let you down.
In my experience it's sometimes the ones you don't expect that are there for you.
You didn't ask their help and are just close enough to vent your problems.
Those are the good people and that gives me a sparkle of hope for the otherwise very grim world.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Absolutely. I’m not disabled but I can say with confidence there are genuinely zero good people on this planet. Me included. People are truly only in it for themselves and will cast aside and trample anyone who gets in their way.

Learned that first from my parents. Even if they’re related to you, they will throw you under the bus at their earliest convenience.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I know several people who would give up anything on hand to help if needed. There are plenty of good people in this world. If you're willing to give, you will find those willing to help

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Zero, but I've heard rumors they exist.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Having lived here for over half a century now, and having met a ton of people and having get to know a solid portion of them better, I could safely say:

My wife and myself. The rest I would not bet a TicTac on. Homo homini lupus est. People are nice to you, even seem like "good people", but, as another comment or already said, people are contextual.

Be a tiny bit different from the mass and you'd notice why. People are nice to you as long as you provide some kind of benefit to them. Now or in the future. Even worse if you have money and they know it.

Yet, Despite me being misanthropic as hell, I still do care about my fellow species-members (everything living actually) and do voluntary work for disabled people and stuff like that. And yes, I know that most of them would probably sell me to one of Dante's circles of hell to get rid of their disability. But there are always some pearls somewhere in the ocean. It's worth finding them. Tiresome and frustrating, but worth it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (4 children)

This is a realistic mindset

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Im 58, I've et 4 people in my life I'd classify as "good". Im with one and I'm not one.

All 4 are women, which gives me pause as a guy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The answer is contextual, just like people are contextual. Sometimes, my circles are all busy or stressed out and we can’t really be there for each other. Other times, strangers have saved me, like the couple that took me in when lockdowns started and I was far from home.

Have you heard of the Stanford Prison Experiment? Or the Princeton Seminarian experiment? Or the Milgram Experiment? All of them confirm that people are contextual. That’s lesson 1 in psychology, but we humans easily forget it. We focus on the person and forget the context. That folly of ours even has a name: Fundamental Attribution Error.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

Fwiw Stanford was basically a scam. The story as it's usually told is a lie, and its results are in serious contention, even beyond the usual replication issues psychology studies have.

Milgram is a good study, and even seems to have survived multiple replication attenpts, but its results are often overstated in their broader applicability. Notably: there are issues around the idea that it is "authority" that causes people to comply, as is usually claimed, instead of a belief in "expertise" or trust in the system (e.g. that a university-authorised study is obviously not going to kill people). Still, the conclusions are good enough for the purposes of your comment here.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

There is a big difference between a good person that will not intentionally do you harm and is happy to help vs one that would enter risk to save you in life or death.

I know lots of people I am confident would do me no harm and treat me well. I know a few that do not care / can’t be trusted.

As for my life that is fairly limited to select family and a few friends.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Having actually been rushed to hospital when I was a kid by my friends after a big accident on my bike I would say the number is higher than you might think. They even walked by bike back home, which considering it was miles from home was pretty mad for teenagers.

I would say at least 20 people I know who are close to me either have done something I would consider above and beyond for me already or I know for sure would do so. Thats not counting any relatives.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

0%

I don't think it's wise to ever trust another person 100%. You should be aware that anyone could turn on you in the correct situation with the correct pressures.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You're right, but sometimes you need someone to hold the other end of the rope when you lower yourself over a cliff.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Unfortunately if I'm going over a cliff it's a solo adventure and I don't plan on coming back up.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (7 children)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Maybe 15 to 25% tops.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Until recently I would have said 0%, but probably 95% of my current friends would rush me to a hospital (if it was physically possible) the other 5% are perpetually busy and would probably find someone who could.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I would say the vast majority of people are good, however people are flawed so a lot of people are bad at being good.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I designate all folks as good folks. Even with the whole 'every action is inherently selfish' worldview that I have. I think most anyone close to me, and anyone nearby with free time would rush me to the hospital.

Though, I think leaving me to die is fair and wouldn't make someone a bad person. I am only the center of my universe.

I'd imagine that that point of designating good and bad people is to decide where to put your effort. Who to try and support. Maybe to decide who to keep in your life. I'd say that can be done just fine without labeling folks as "bad people".

I worry folks will dehumanize and become a bit too negligent of the experiences of "bad people". "Bad people" just means "contradictory and offensive culture" in most cases.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I think most of my friends and even acquaintances would rush me to a hospital.
I think more than 50% of the people I know would do that.

Regarding genuinely good and trusting my life, that would would be smaller.

A question on the other view tho:
Would you(not OP only) be that genuinely good person for someone? As a guess, in your view how many people would see you like that?

I think only my family and maybe close friends would see me like that.

Regarding getting people to a hospital, I think the 50% stuff would apply to me too.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next β€Ί