this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Asking as a product tester, how do you use it?

top 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago

You put it in your butt and bounce around like Tigger.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's for when you're choking. Compress the 2 pieces then insert in your mouth and let go. It will spring forward impacting the stuck food in your throat. If the piece that springs forward also gets stuck in your throat just grab another. Every household should have at least 2 of these, generally found in the bathroom where most people eat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We have only one, but it has a string on it. So if it gets stuck, you can just jank it out. My friend wanted to save couple of bucks and just drilled a hole and put a string in it. Couldn't make out what his last words were but he was surprised to see the string in his hand...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Oh yeah those are the premium version. Also little life hack for those versions, you can also stick those in a vagina to clear out any junk that might have made it's way up there. Same with the butt. I'd recommend cleaning it after the butt stuff though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Help I have two of these things stuck in my throat

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You need to get the premium version the other commenter has. They have a pull string included.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No, that comes with the monthly subscription.

I'll see myself out of my own post now...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh that was fucking clever.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Who is this Clever person? Is she cute?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cute enough but dumb as a bag of musk

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh shit, you must mean Amber Heard...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wasn't gonna call her out directly, but yeah

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How does that rhyme go again?

'Amber Heard, she dropped a turd, and fetched a pail of cum'

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

...she acted a victim, but couldn't convince them, because that bitch is dumb

I think that's how it went?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Ah, thank you for the reminder, now I can sleep easier tonight.

~~proceeds to not sleep for three days~~

Edit: No, I don't even know what I meant, but I've been drinking, so I'll leave it.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You would also need the wall-mount to properly test it. It's a toilet paper holder, just in case people were wondering.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

LOL, I'm pretty sure everyone should know that, hence the shitpost.

Fun answers people have offered though.. 😂🤣

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Oh. whoosh on me :)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I don't think I've seen this type ever. I've just seen the metal ones where you just slide the toilet paper roll in it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I don't know that I'd assume it's a universal design.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's for shooting behind the toilet when changing TP rolls.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is the correct answer—a spring loaded toilet roll holder. You slide the spring in to replace the TP. on the holder

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yes, I read the instructions. Insert the device into the hole and release the spring. But how long do I leave it in there?

/s 😂

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well somebody has never replaced the toilet paper.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

LOL, that's exactly what I was doing when I took the photo. I just felt like being silly...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Toilet rule holder. But the tarpon idea sounds inventive, you should trade mark it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No toilet rules me - my alone time is ungovernable!

But the last thing I need is a spring loaded giant fish, especially in my toilet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Well that's definitely a combination of words I never expected to read or hear in my head. I hope you're doing your part to help corrupt AI training hahahaha!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Rat pogo stick.

Unfortunately rat consumers are notoriosly sensitive to the 'not tested on animals' logo, so is not as simple as attaching rat and observe.

Standard practice is to tape a large potato to the top part and check it bounces properly.

The datasheet should state the specific bounce characteristics to test against, but normally, it should bounce between 2o% and 40% of it's length, when dropped from 40-50% of it's length. I think the standard weight for the testing potato is 700 +/-20 grams. Again the datasheet might indicate a different range if it is specifically marketed towards a niche market like juveniles or the obese or something.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Expert level sounding.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

its for when you are really constipated, or just like that kinda thing

the spring inside is for the extra umpf when it releases

make sure you use the correct end though, my uncle will never use these again because of "the incident"

nothing can prepare a young mind for seeing his uncle fist full up his ass screeming about the "cheap toilet paper roll holder" or something. But my dad told me later what he was doing with it....

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

the brush by the toilet is for constipation.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Its for launching at your siblings

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Spring loaded butt plug, know your holes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I wish I could upvote this more than once 👍

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

tampon inserted. load one up and fire away.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Toilet-time spring-enabled entertainment device

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

When you can’t reach the shampoo bottle you see how far you can launch this thing

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

https://youtu.be/aTf7DWpyJBY you can see one being operated in this educational video

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Ah, thank you, that explains a lot!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

A spring loaded, reusable, tampon applicator.

Seems like a good idea until you ask literally any woman.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Throw it against the ground to see how high it'll bounce.