this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Asking as a product tester, how do you use it?

top 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 48 points 11 months ago

You put it in your butt and bounce around like Tigger.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 38 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's for when you're choking. Compress the 2 pieces then insert in your mouth and let go. It will spring forward impacting the stuck food in your throat. If the piece that springs forward also gets stuck in your throat just grab another. Every household should have at least 2 of these, generally found in the bathroom where most people eat.

[–] TeNppa@sopuli.xyz 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

We have only one, but it has a string on it. So if it gets stuck, you can just jank it out. My friend wanted to save couple of bucks and just drilled a hole and put a string in it. Couldn't make out what his last words were but he was surprised to see the string in his hand...

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

Oh yeah those are the premium version. Also little life hack for those versions, you can also stick those in a vagina to clear out any junk that might have made it's way up there. Same with the butt. I'd recommend cleaning it after the butt stuff though.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Help I have two of these things stuck in my throat

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You need to get the premium version the other commenter has. They have a pull string included.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No, that comes with the monthly subscription.

I'll see myself out of my own post now...

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh that was fucking clever.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Who is this Clever person? Is she cute?

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Cute enough but dumb as a bag of musk

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh shit, you must mean Amber Heard...

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I wasn't gonna call her out directly, but yeah

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

How does that rhyme go again?

'Amber Heard, she dropped a turd, and fetched a pail of cum'

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

...she acted a victim, but couldn't convince them, because that bitch is dumb

I think that's how it went?

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Ah, thank you for the reminder, now I can sleep easier tonight.

~~proceeds to not sleep for three days~~

Edit: No, I don't even know what I meant, but I've been drinking, so I'll leave it.

[–] beerclue@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You would also need the wall-mount to properly test it. It's a toilet paper holder, just in case people were wondering.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

LOL, I'm pretty sure everyone should know that, hence the shitpost.

Fun answers people have offered though.. 😂🤣

[–] beerclue@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Oh. whoosh on me :)

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

I don't think I've seen this type ever. I've just seen the metal ones where you just slide the toilet paper roll in it

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 11 months ago

I don't know that I'd assume it's a universal design.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's for shooting behind the toilet when changing TP rolls.

[–] pntha@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is the correct answer—a spring loaded toilet roll holder. You slide the spring in to replace the TP. on the holder

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yes, I read the instructions. Insert the device into the hole and release the spring. But how long do I leave it in there?

/s 😂

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well somebody has never replaced the toilet paper.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

LOL, that's exactly what I was doing when I took the photo. I just felt like being silly...

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Toilet rule holder. But the tarpon idea sounds inventive, you should trade mark it.

[–] modeler@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No toilet rules me - my alone time is ungovernable!

But the last thing I need is a spring loaded giant fish, especially in my toilet.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Well that's definitely a combination of words I never expected to read or hear in my head. I hope you're doing your part to help corrupt AI training hahahaha!

[–] oo1@lemmings.world 12 points 11 months ago

Rat pogo stick.

Unfortunately rat consumers are notoriosly sensitive to the 'not tested on animals' logo, so is not as simple as attaching rat and observe.

Standard practice is to tape a large potato to the top part and check it bounces properly.

The datasheet should state the specific bounce characteristics to test against, but normally, it should bounce between 2o% and 40% of it's length, when dropped from 40-50% of it's length. I think the standard weight for the testing potato is 700 +/-20 grams. Again the datasheet might indicate a different range if it is specifically marketed towards a niche market like juveniles or the obese or something.

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago
[–] CthuluVoIP@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Expert level sounding.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

its for when you are really constipated, or just like that kinda thing

the spring inside is for the extra umpf when it releases

make sure you use the correct end though, my uncle will never use these again because of "the incident"

nothing can prepare a young mind for seeing his uncle fist full up his ass screeming about the "cheap toilet paper roll holder" or something. But my dad told me later what he was doing with it....

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

the brush by the toilet is for constipation.

[–] thann@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 11 months ago

Its for launching at your siblings

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Spring loaded butt plug, know your holes.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

I wish I could upvote this more than once 👍

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

tampon inserted. load one up and fire away.

[–] KazuchijouNo@lemy.lol 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Toilet-time spring-enabled entertainment device

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

When you can’t reach the shampoo bottle you see how far you can launch this thing

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

https://youtu.be/aTf7DWpyJBY you can see one being operated in this educational video

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Ah, thank you, that explains a lot!

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 11 months ago

A spring loaded, reusable, tampon applicator.

Seems like a good idea until you ask literally any woman.

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 2 points 11 months ago

Throw it against the ground to see how high it'll bounce.