I thought the joke here was that your unbalanced parentheses would make me angry (they did))
this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2025
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I have this great idea for an app, we can go 70/30 on it! 70 for me because the idea is the hardest part after all. So basically it's Twitter plus Facebook plus Tinder with a built in MMO. You can get that done in a couple weeks, should be pretty easy right?
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[Object object]
Actually it's [object Object]
Ah, piss. So it is.
I'm going to blame it on autocorrect, even though we both know I just got it wrong
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Figure out if they prefer spaces or tabs, insist on the other.
Please note this won't work on Pythonistas as they've already had their spirit thoroughly broken.
A haiku for you:
Tabs or four spaces
Never a semicolon
Broken in spirit
What if you use tabs for indentations and space for alignment?
It's alright... but have you considered spaces for indentation and tabs for alignment?
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You guys are too slow, we need to hire more of you and let the sales teams use AI to add features the client asks without waiting for you.
AI can code now, in 2 mins I can create an app, so it shouldnβt take you long to make changes to this 10year old product.
Insist they index from 1. Like God and Fortran intended it. ;)
And Lua!
And Julia!
Fuck C and it's lazy shit pointer arithmetic array indexing shortcut. I.e. you just add the index Γ size(t) to the array pointer.
Bounds checking? We've heard of it.
It's fast though.
Like riding a motorcycle in a tee shirt and shorts.
And sun glasses, don't forget the aviators.
While Mr "I can't code without a garbage collector" is still putting on his backplate of "oh no pointers are bad" and a duck typed full face helmet, to ride his interpreted moped, the big boys, Mr C-ool and Mr ASSembly, are already downing grain alcohol at the finish line.
But then again I really don't like to step out of my embedded RTOS bubble. It really depends on what you want to accomplish and how complicated your system is.
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And MATLAB!
MATLAB is basically a UI wrapper around Fortran's BLAS and LAPACK -- change my mind. ;)
Replace a semicolon (;) with a Greek Question mark (ΝΎ), provided they're working in a language that uses semicolons at the end of every line, and their IDE doesn't highlight the difference (which some do now)
Fun fact, Rust has a special error message for this:
Unicode character 'ΝΎ' (Greek Question Mark) looks like a semicolon, but it is not.
It also detects other potentially confusing Unicode characters, like the division slash which looks like /.
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#define if while #define true false
I mean, the headline of this post already makes me irrationally angry. π
Y u no close brackets!?
I think that's the joke, Clyde!
I work as an embedded developer and when a new board is produced and half tested, every one expects fully functional code off the bat, right away.
Motherfucker, you didn't even qualify your hardware and you expect my code, that hasn't hit the new board, to be 100% functional, based on your mind map? We will find hardware issues that will inevitably be blamed on the code and spend hours "debugging" the code to eventually find out the hardware is shit.
"we're just trying to display why is this so hard? It's a ten minute job!"
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short variable names, and the only vowel is 'i'
skibidi = 42I inherited an old Japanese codebase. Tons of stuff was just single-letter variables. Apparently, this used to be at least somewhat common here. I spent a lot of time just updating code to replace vars with something meaningful (and found bonus bugs due to improper scoping with same var names as a bonus). Didn't have an IDE that would easily do it for me at the time and running something like sed felt too risky.
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Make them stand up.
You have no power here! I use a standing desk.
Correctly highlight when a programmer is being assumptive as a brick, even when assumptions are one of the biggest sins in programming. Done, you've triggered a lot of programmers.
Micromanagement to speed up product release date. Daily meeting and status reports, work breakout categories such as βcode designβ, βcode developmentβ, βcode documentationβ, etc,etc (flash back gif of Apache helicopters flying over a jungle
Make them do project management.
Write spaghetti code and don't listen to advice telling you to improve
Compile your kernel with a different version of ld then shipped with your distro. I have this right now in Debian testing and it's enraging. I'm not even sure if that's the source of my error
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