Hint: :q!
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1. Follow the site-wide rules
sudo in Windows.Please report posts and comments that break these rules!
Important: never execute code or follow advice that you don't understand or can't verify, especially here. The word of the day is credibility. This is a meme community -- even the most helpful comments might just be shitposts that can damage your system. Be aware, be smart, don't remove France.
edit: [email protected] found it after I forgot to save the link: https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/forum/all/unable-to-install-updates-unless-battery-is/99bb073a-948e-4ccf-b14f-46e192fac457
I saw a great one yesterday.
Question: Help, I can't boot, here's the error code. I'm stuck in a loop and can't get into windows.
Answer: Open Microsoft explorer, navigate to....
Found the post on the forums. The screenshot omits the comment from Craig who said "I ended up wiping windows and installing Ubuntu instead".
I found this reply helpful too, and so should you.
Hehe.
Thank you, I've updated the post body.
The Microsoft support forums are on a whole level of their own, when it comes to being useless.
sfc /scannow and the troubleshooting button in the settings do fuck all, and compared to the usual systemd journal, the event log rarely gives you any useful information whatsoever
.
Why is Microsoft's support so completely and utterly useless, anyway? Do they purposely hire people who don't understand how computers work for their support team? They almost always reply with a "solution" that has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. Why are they so bad at their jobs?
Because they're not Microsoft support. Microsoft Answers is a user forum and the "MVPs" there providing "support" are at best volunteers and at worst bots.
As a user, it seems to me that Microsoft figured out a way to get the customers they care about to hire and pay for their own "Microsoft support" people.
If I have a problem at work with one of those M365 websites I use, or with the Windows partition I don't, and I can't fix it myself, the person helping me is going to be a fellow employee and not [email protected].
Honestly a month ago me and my friend were looking at microsoft forums. One of which was somebody asking why tiktok was preinstalled in windows 11. Forum admin replied that it was bloat from a manufacturer of the hardware. It was a homebuilt computer and fresh copy of windows 11 home.
28 more people said windows 11 did this by default, the admin eventually realized it was not accidental or a fluke. Which he previously eluded to.
Shows the current state of windows 11
Alluded
I like to think it was a wordplay.
The entire thread is hilarious.
"I had to remove my laptop's battery, now Windows won't update."
"Are you using a laptop or desktop?"
"I said I am using a laptop without a battery."
"Please share a screenshot of your device manager, so I can make sure whether or not you are using a laptop or desktop."
"Fine." (Posts screenshot)
"According to your screenshot, you are using a laptop, and it has a battery in it. Please charge the battery to 40%."
"That's it. I'm using Linux."
I'm John from Microsoft and I have over 25 years of experience.
Please update your drivers and run run sfc /scannow.
I hope that helps,
John
That's right, linux is terrible since you have to use terminal. Microsoft doesn't have terrible things like terminal. Just copy paste these commands into run.
Or then you do find an article that helps but its a registry edit.
With an alternative method involving a page in settings that only existed between may 2015 and feb 2016.
You know, last time I've reached the MS forum, there was a support person there answering "No, there's no way to disable the Teams pop-up that appears over your shared screen when you mute the microphone. Lots of people ask the same question, and the developers have no plans of changing this".
The answer was complete, helpful, and completely out of the normal for the forum. The only thing more out of character would be if Teams actually had an option to make it work as any sane person would expect, but then, this is not on the forum people.
Seems suspicious. There probably is such an option hidden somewhere. Because whenever you get a clear answer there, it's invariably wrong.
Well, if you find it, please tell :)
It's a clear Microsoft paradox: is the support person right, or did Teams do something reasonable?
