this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 95 points 10 months ago
[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 72 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Based off of the try-hard linkedin douches I know I'd say:

  • The Art of War
  • Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
  • The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
  • Rich-dad poor-dad
  • The Art of the Deal
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If this is the approach, Infinite Jest and War and Peace are solid options. Maybe Oversized Penises for Dummies.

[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Fuck great call. I thought having two "war" novels might make the joke worse but Infinite Jest is peak big brain public masturbation reading material

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Lol, I literally got called out for reading Infinite Jest on a bus. Wasn't a flex, the bus was just my primary reading time on weekdays and it was on my 'to finish' list.

Agreed that I probably looked like a jackass.

Habits of Highly Successful People

[–] chemicalwonka@discuss.tchncs.de 52 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 55 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you mean reading performatively ALOUD on public transportation, there's only one choice: The Bible, King James Version.

[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

While I agree I prefer the Ving Rhames version

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

just realized I was actually in possession of the LeAnn Rimes version, unbeknownst to me

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Just to be clear, I meant the Bible X Lebron James edition.

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

For sure!

saw they caught Bronny with the King Von edition on ESPN in a wild turn of events

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[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Do they have The Meats™?

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[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] mvirts@lemmy.world 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] hash@slrpnk.net 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] cymbal_king@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh god do people think you're being performative when you read in public transport?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 10 months ago

Only people who don't read.

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

House of Leaves. That way if anyone notices you’re holding it upside down they’ll just think you’re really into it. And if anyone asks you what it’s about you can say “I have no fucking clue what’s happening, there’s a house I think?” and you’ll be correct.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Um. I think it's pretty easy to understand, but it's all a meta-narrative with an unreliable narrator.

The narrative devices are quite ingenious.

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

I love the book, just gently poking fun.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 10 months ago

I watched a video essay on MyHouse.wad. I've never played Doom or read House of Leaves. Now I don't need to do either.

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 15 points 10 months ago

Surviving Life With Your Gigantic Penis by Chris Boden.

Yes, that's the title of an actual book.

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How about an oversized Dr Seuss book?

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 points 10 months ago

Lolita while furrowing your brow and shaking your head so everyone knows you disagree with the protagonist's actions.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (3 children)

If you’re on a bus, read the novelization of Speed.

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[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No go hard mode, "Fox in socks" you have a total of 2 minutes.

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[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Did any of Chuck Tingle's books get physical releases?

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[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Moby Dick. It is free, unnecessarily long, really wordy, and mostly boring.

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[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Can reccomend the the epic of Gilgamesh, just be sure you don't actually enjoy reading it, or else you'd just be reading on the bus...

[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 8 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Is the new thing making fun of people who read on the train? I do it all the time ☹️

[–] SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

John said "reading performatively" - so, unless you're doing that...

[–] Jtotheb@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thankfully the people in charge of deciding whether your actions are performative or not have great judgment

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[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m curious to know what counts as performative reading haha

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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 7 points 10 months ago

Is there a book about how Ayn Rand was a total piece of shit that helped ruin America?

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

A nearly monotone, apathetic reading of The Stranger or The Plague.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

The dictionary

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 10 months ago

A Critique of Pure Reason

[–] introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Can't go wrong with Hobbit and LOTR!

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 10 months ago

It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

[–] ZMoney@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Anything by Chuck Tingle

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago

Go Dog, Go!

Do you like my hat?

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 10 months ago

You can never go wrong with the classic, Turtleneck top, glases (not optional), sneakers, Ulysses.

There is a more modern way though, bring a travel chessboard and do random moves, then look at your phone type somethgin, wait, and then make another random move.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Real talk, H.G. Wells was a fantastic author and his biggest hits are both immediately recognizable enough to be a performative conversation starter while also having the added bonus/hazard of potentially accidentally getting into it.

War of the Worlds, The Time Machine and The Invisible Man are all ones I've recently listened via Librivox (I linked the specific readers I listened to) during my commutes, but of course, my goal is to actually enjoy the books

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