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Any parent who calls parenting a "thankless job" is a neglectful and abusive parent. (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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The reward from parenting is raising an awesome strong kind productive member of society that you could actually be proud of and create amazing memories with.

How your child feels towards you is a reflection of how you treat them. Children aren't born hating their parents.

And before some suddenly victimized unthanked employees lament about their teenage children's dirty rooms, maybe try to understand their perspective where they're overwhelmed with assignments and grades while also being pressured to work and own property as early as possible, while being bullied by other teens for being unemployed and not a homeowner at 14 and dealing with fake friends and crap on top of all the usual teenage emotions and hormones and crap, on top of you antagonizing an overwhelmed human child for showing signs of being overwhelmed.

Loved children aren't filthy and depressed enough for their living space to suffer. Buying iPads isn't love.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I think you might be parsing the sentiment of the phrase a bit differently than how it's intended.

It sounds like you're interpreting it to mean "parenting sucks because my children hate me and never listen".
I would hear the phrase as closer to "parenting is difficult because the person the work is done for variously doesn't see the work being done, takes it as a given, or only expresses any gratitude far, far down the line because as you said: "The reward from parenting is raising an awesome strong kind productive member of society that you could actually be proud of and create amazing memories with".

It's thankless because the hardwork is often unnoticed or taken for granted, not because it's difficult.

People should keep in mind what you say about teenagers, but I don't think it's related to the phrase.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I have two teenagers. Sometimes they are really sweet but sometimes they are the most selfish assholes I know. One is very successful & the other has serious behavior probs.

It is very easy for people & parents to think every kid must be just like theirs or how they were growing up. They aren't & times have changed. Many kids don't even have reasonable access to parks or nature anymore. Also, puberty does crazy things to kids sometimes where their hormones go all over from happy one minute, to angry or sad the next.

The point is whatever point you're trying to make here only applies to your situation or perspective. Some kids have autism, some have ADHD, and some have something else. Each thing makes them unique & gives them their own special qualities, but to pretend that kids, especially through their teen years, are 100% rational is just false.

It isn't always the fault of the parents either. I've seen & experienced parents working really hard & talking to their kids trying to reason. Sometimes they listen & sometimes they rebel. Sometimes they do & say things that makes sense & other times they act like a toddler. The hardest thing to do as a parent though is let them make bad choices & suffer consequences, cause that is really the only way some kids will learn.