this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
316 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

22133 readers
1427 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
all 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] grue@lemmy.world 86 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] NutWrench@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Expel them to WHERE? Or were they just planning for all the Gazans to just keel over and die? Rubio is such a tool.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The earth is 75% covered in water. They'll just toss them there.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Just send them to Rwanda. If it's good enough for the United Kingdom...

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 80 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I wish we could get these motherfuckers to care half as much about Americans as they do about Israel.

[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

These are the same people who'll turn around and talk about Jewish space lasers starting forest fires. They don't give a shit about Israel, they give a shit about maintaining the facade of power and authoritarianism.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Some of them do care about Israel; its existence is a prerequisite for the apocalypse that they're praying for

[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social 1 points 2 years ago

I'm vaguely familiar with the "Accelerationists" or whatever they're called but doesn't their prophecy say that the destruction of modern day Israel as what will trigger the rapture/second coming?

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Israel is a hot button topic. They've lined them all up and plan to press three hot buttons per day, for four years.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's the FB/Twitter/Snap/TikTok algorithm applied to politics. Smart tactic.

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 1 points 2 years ago

Yep, we're going to have to train mainstream media how to filter them, or just boycott all monetized channels of MSM until they figure it out for themselves.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Generously shove my foot up this guys ass.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

Foot? Fuck that, how about an umbrella

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

So…. That’s with lube, then?

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 30 points 2 years ago

Republicans, ladies and gentlemen.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Donald Trump doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing.

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 7 points 2 years ago

His advisory cabal of men behind the curtain, sure, they know exactly what they're doing.

Hard partying 78 year old ravaged by STDs? https://www.sciencealert.com/80-of-americans-with-dementia-may-not-even-know-they-have-it

I would be ever so pleased if Rubio somehow found the grace to aspirate on a satchel of Richards.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wow. We could never have predicted this would happen. I am in a state of shock.

(s a r c a s m)

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

If I ever meet any of these bastards, they will find themselves wrapped in a tarp and buried under my house.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Don't bury shit in your backyard. Wood chipper.

[–] meowMix2525@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Too messy. Encased in concrete and dropped into the ocean.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Polluter.

Feed them to a pig farm in Iowa.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 18 points 2 years ago

It's either that or we can kill them all. - Rubio

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago
[–] NOT_RICK_SANCHEZ@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

This is full display of what happens when you remove your spine, balls and hand them to trump.

[–] P1nkman@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I am not condoning violence, but I'd read his obituary with great pleasure.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They are condoning violence. It's high time us civilized folks give them some of their own medicine.

[–] P1nkman@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

I agree, but I've had too many comments that's been deleted since I'm on Lemmy.World. waiting for my anarchist account to be activated..

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Which dipshit is Rubio again? I always think he’s the “please clap” guy but I know that’s wrong. I know it’s not Cancún Cruz but I’m having a hard time keeping track of these assholes.

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Rubio was a US Senator from Florida, before that he was a Florida state level legislator.

https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/examining-rubios-home-sale/

Local News Examining Rubio's Home Sale miami March 8, 2016 / 2:50 PM EST / CBS Miami

(EDITOR'S NOTE: This story and video was originally posted on the CBS4 website on May 18, 2010. CBS4 News was the first to investigate the 2007 sale of Marco Rubio's home in Miami. It is now being re-posted following a series of statements and campaign ads by Donald Trump questioning the ethics of the home sale. )

-------------ORIGINAL REPORT-------------------

In 2007, Florida's no fault auto insurance law was set to expire. The law known as PIP – or personal injury protection – provides $10,000 in medical coverage for anyone in an auto accident.

Both Florida Governor Charlie Crist and the Florida Senate wanted to extend PIP. The only obstacle was the Florida House and its speaker, Marco Rubio, who believed PIP was rife with fraud and abuse.

"I started to study the issue and really became convinced that there was a serious fraud industry that had been built around it, largely through a combination of clinics and lawyers," Rubio said recently. "So I was okay with PIP being extended but only if we dealt with the fraud issues, at least some anti fraud measures."

Yet Rubio also gave the impression that he was willing to let PIP die.

"What I did obviously want was ultimate leverage and the threat that I was willing to let PIP go away," he recalled.

Among those who supported PIP were Florida chiropractors, including Dr. Mark Cereceda, who operates a string of pain clinics throughout South Florida. Cereceda's business depends on seeing PIP patients.

"I see a lot of PIP patients," Cereceda said.

In the Spring and Summer of 2007, Cereceda mounted a campaign to pressure Rubio to allow PIP to continue. Accompanied by other chiropractors, Cereceda met with Rubio in Tallahassee. Cereceda also organized marches and demonstrations in front of Rubio's West Miami office. He even hired four planes to fly banners over Rubio's home and office urging him to keep PIP alive.

Rubio, who described Cereceda as "an acquaintance," said he was aware of Cereceda's campaign and that he Cereceda "was pretty excited about that issue."

In the midst of all this lobbying, Mark Cereceda's mother bought a house from Rubio, paying $380,000 in an all cash deal that was finalized in April 2007. Rubio had originally purchased the house in 2003 for $175,000.

"It was just a coincidence," Mark Cereceda said of the sale.

Mark Cereceda, who lives on the same block as the Rubio house, said he noticed a "For Sale" sign in the front yard and recommended it to his mother.

Six months after the sale of the house was complete, Rubio wrote Gov. Crist a letter asking him to call a special session of the Florida Legislature. This time Rubio said he would support PIP.

"It had nothing to do with the house," Cereceda said.


Nothing at all, I'm sure.

[–] HungryJerboa@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago

Rubio is the secretary of state (foreign affairs)

Hails from Florida, iirc. Once despised Trump but has since kissed the ring (being handsomely rewarded afterwards).

[–] projectsquared@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I will probably die a relatively poor person, but I will still have my soul and dignity. Can you say that, Marco?

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 8 points 2 years ago

I've met both US Senators from Florida a couple of years before they got in the Senate. Neither of them gave the slightest impression of being a leader, in charge of their own destiny, or even a servant of the people. They were both just performers on a publicity tour, slaves to their schedules and scripts.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

He feels no loss as he never had either.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Very generous......ly unrealistic, unfeasible, and inhumane.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

He needed a better botox surgeon. Too late now.