Sounds like you need therapy.
this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2025
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Sometimes alcohol and adult videos, that’s my therapy, and I don’t see that changing and can’t do anything about it.
Who are you ~~arguing with~~ trying to convince, me or yourself?
OP does this all the time. Their post history is a litany of "woe is me" with dozens of folks kindly offering thoughts, support and help to be met with nothing but complaints.
OP: How can I fix my mental health without doing anything beneficial or that takes work?
Arguing?
Sorry. "Trying to convince."
I don't know that this is the right community since it's impossible to have a casual conversation on the subject, and you seem to be more venting than wanting to talk about the subject.
That being said, you're right.
Mental healthcare access is horrible in so many places that it might as well not be there at all. Then you run into places where they try, but budgeting isn't there for public, low income patients, so you end up with over worked, under paid providers struggling to keep up with patients that need way more help, more often, than they can provide.
Even when you have insurance that covers it, wait lists exist and are absurdly long, particularly among those that are at the highest risk. You don't even want to see how long some pediatric mental health providers are backed up. It can take a year or more just to get the first appointment so they can get started, not even for actual therapy.
And that's assuming your insurance is accepted at a given provider.
That doesn't mean that it isn't the best thing to do, it usually is. But if someone is saying "just get therapy", they're clueless. Even people in crisis, they may not get the help they actually need, so suggesting that someone only has to up and get therapy and problem solved is malarkey.
People can be suicidal, reach an ER, get held, go through all the bullshit that entails, and never have a proper therapist seen. There are times when someone in crisis can not only not get help, but end up worse off.
And, like you said, that's just the US. There are countries where therapists simply don't exist. There's others where accessing therapy is even harder.
Unfortunately, it is usually still the only useful suggestion someone can make. I tend to be careful about how I recommend someone seek a provider because if you do that without couching it with acknowledging that it isn't always a possibility, you might as well just tell someone to git gud.
I'm making my own therapy with blackjack and hookers!
Exercise has a demonstrated impact on mood, and it's free
Diet also has a demonstrated impact on mood, and often just removing sugar, not eating before bed, is enough to notice a improvement
Those are the freebies, everything else costs money.
Maybe a friend can help you navigate difficult issues?
I tried the whole exercise shebang. I've actually been more consistent about it than I've ever been in my life. I started running back in March and I had never done it before! I kept waiting and waiting to get the mental benefit people say you're supposed to get out of it...but I never have. Honestly I was going through some huge shit and the supposed mental benefits are why I picked it up in the first place. The only thing it has really give me is something to do and occasionally a brief distraction (altho I have been able to be upset while running so it's not even always distracting).
The other day, someone at work was telling me how wonderful they feel during/after a run and it was just wild to me...I've only felt that maybe a handful of times ever. Is that what people normally feel when they run?
I don't get a "runner's high" or other mental benefits from it. But I keep doing it because I feel like I'm supposed to now. Overall I find exercising rather unpleasant.
Do you think the mental benefits will ever happen for me or does my brain just not work the way that other people's do? I'm getting close to the 1 year mark now since my running journey.
I do get the "high" from exercise, especially the intense exercise that leaves my muscles aching for a day or two after. I feel good, and problems seem smaller.
Diet can also have a huge impact on metal health, there is very interesting research ongoing, and suggestive findings now, on how a low carbohydrate diet has a huge impact on mental health. The biggest funder of this research is the Baszucki group (roblox fame), they had a child with bipolar who didn't respond to any intervention until they tried low carb.
Here is my recommendation, in order of easy to hard:
- Remove all sugars
- Get direct natural sunlight on your skin for a hour a day.
- Try to only eat whole foods (nothing from a box, or from a factory).
- Try to reduce all carbohydrates
- Try to reduce all plant food
- Avoid seed oils
There is lots of deep emotions in this space, find what works for you, a dietary trial for 3-6 weeks is something you can do without spending extra money, and then you will know if it works for you. Happy to discuss more here or on [email protected] ; or if you just want to look at research https://www.metabolicmind.org/research
Regardless of what anyone tells you (including me), the only thing that is important is your personal outcomes. If something isn't working for you, change it, experiment until it does.
OP just likes to complain. You like many others have been kind enough to take time to offer advice that will, like so much before it, be ignored so the whining can continue.
True, that is life :) but it's ok. I like OP. I'm happy to till at this windmill.
I hope things improve for you with time.
I’m not sure if you’re struggling with depression or something else but in case it helps, when I am at my lowest functioning depression I find the only way to climb out is to put myself on a relatively rigid regime including only the basics (food, water, sleep, sun, exercise, making money for expenses). Without those things no one could be healthy/happy so I figure I need to at least maintain the minimal conditions kinda like you have to eat even if you’re never hungry. I certainly can’t trust my brain which is telling me to just lay in bed so I do the things I know intellectually are necessary preconditions. I do not try to force myself to enjoy a hobby I used to enjoy or into a social situation I am dreading.
Eventually, for me anyway, true motivation is able to emerge again and I can enjoy and want to do things again.
I saw a free therapist (cognitive behavioral) for about a year during the mid-pandemic and did find it marginally helpful for social anxiety. Less so for depression.
For I think the fifth time, if you give me your rough region, I will happily look for free therapy options.
You keep complaining about how things will never change yet refuse all offers of any sort of help, why keep complaining?
You're not helping me and I don't want help from you
Clearly you don't want help, you wouldn't be able to complain anymore.
All I can do is keep offering.
I don't see that changing and ~~can't~~ won't do anything about it.
I've gone to Human Services training in school which technically qualifies as therapy training. If anyone tells you to just get therapy, you could just come to me or call me over.
Therapy has helped me through coming out, friends through depression, and family through intense family arguments.
There are many different types of therapy for different people, and different therapists that only work well with certain types of people. I wouldn't discount it.
Check out the "all filters" button to see all categories. There are lots, and at various price points.