JD Vance only eats the cat food part of lucky charms pass it on
this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
438 points (98.7% liked)
The Onion
4890 readers
2 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
knew exactly what you meant and have never heard that before. Absolutely love it
JD Vance eats catfood? What a weirdo.
What would you do if you found a can of cat food in my apartment?
Dim the lights. Two open cans of whiskers puree on the table. And lots of couch.
It'll cost you fifty to watch though.
He eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
He eats pieces of shit for breakfast too?
Oh boy
(Sadly they're making Happy Gilmore 2)
Another group chat... couched in secrecy.
Vance blushes furiously.
The eyeliner in that photo… 🤌 😙
I notice this, why he do that? Look so stupid.
I know headline grammar is different than normal, but this one still sounds weird to me.
Yeah it seems like a typo. There -> there's
🎵Code Monkey get up, get coffee🎶
🎶Code Monkey go to job🎵
🎵Code Monkey have boring meeting🎶
🎶Boring manager Rob🎵
Rob say code monkey very diligent
But his output stink
His code not functional or elegant
What does code monkey think?
What do* code monkey think
Vice Vice President Vance
President Musk
First Buddy Donny
VP Gilligan
Vice to the President
Assistant to the Vice President
I laughed way too hard at this.
Bro I know people like this. The JD Vances who are so obnoxious but only in the room because of some political BS. And we absolutely leave them out of the real discussion.
I also suspected this is the case when I read "Vance says Jan. 6 participants who committed violence ‘obviously’ shouldn’t be pardoned."
I actually forgot JD was a political figure, let alone Vice President of the country.
I literally thought "who?" when I read the hotline. It's almost pitiful.
But I will not spare pity for him.
Not vice yet
Unless someone's fermenting[sic] a rebellion or planning an Adjustment, I'm not sure how that is a meaningful distinction. His ticket won and is due to be sworn in this month.
Vance is a Thiel bloodboy. He's working with Musk.
Made me lol