this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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all 38 comments
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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 59 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Bow before your new king!!!! For I have received Excalibur from the lady of the ~~lake~~ box!!!!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 61 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well I didn't vote for you.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 43 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 38 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well how do you become king then?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 41 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The Lady of the Swordbox, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the box signifying by Divine Providence that I, Ininewcrow, was to carry Excalibur!

That is why I am your king!

[–] steventhedev@lemmy.world 52 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bottom rack retail workers distributing replica weaponry is hardly a good basis for a system of government

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] BobbyGasoline@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some ~~watery~~ ren fair tart threw a sword at you!

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

(gets grabbed by store security)

Ah now we see the violence in the system.

COME SEE THE VIOLENCE IN THE SYSTEM!

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

[–] Lemming421@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"How'd you know he was a Karen?"

"'E ain't got shit all over 'im."

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!?

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 years ago

If I was to say that I'm the emperor because some underpaid and overworked employee lobbed a foam claymore at me, they'd put me away!

[–] Mikug@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

You clearly haven't heard of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 3 points 2 years ago

I'm so fucked bruh I can't even imagine king Arthur as a man anymore

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 37 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"By th power...."

"Get the hell out of here! Can't you read?!"

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEER!!!

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

"Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight"

[–] gift_of_gab@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh there's a question... if you do a good Freddie Mercury impersonation can you pull out a sword? I would say yes.

[–] gift_of_gab@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

If you shout "I have inside me blood of Kings!" is a store worker required to shout "Yeah!" back?

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It says "there can only be one" but there are in fact many swords to do this with.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

You can reduce the numbers faster if you don't need to keep taking the time to clean and sharpen.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

There can be only two!

Wait, I screwed up. Can I get a Mulligan?

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Form Blazing Sword!

[–] germtm_@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

demoknight tf2 moment.

[–] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Was that a reference to a highlander show?

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago