this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2026
558 points (98.1% liked)

196

7220 readers
2368 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

So by the logic of "beauty standards"...I should starve myself, curl my hair, get a tan, cut off both my feet to lose height and then remove all of my ribs to get an hourglass figure? You know...can't argue with that 🙃
Gladly...would
(except maybe the tan part, I really like being pale 😭)

top 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 2 points 45 minutes ago

Close, but its actually "whatever sells you a solution".

[–] Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 hour ago

That is exactly what 'beauty standards' are. Unobtainable. How otherwise could they constantly sell you stuff to 'improve' your look? Fashion, beauty, fitness, wellness sales are 100% dependent on you being convinced to hate yourself enough to buy, buy, buy.

[–] urandom@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

How exactly do you "look whiter"?

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 points 49 minutes ago* (last edited 48 minutes ago)

There are products designed to whiten skin. They're popular in India, and probably more places (I only know about it in India because I learned about them from reading an article about India specifically.)

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

Have to market products somehow.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago

It's a selection bias. The only unsolicited comments about your body are from mean people.

[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Spray tans look bad IMO but technically its less harmful than tanning beds which are just dumb, literally just inducing UV damage. Faster skin aging and cancer risk increase, sounds really appealing.

Curly and straight hair are both great. Hell I like messy hair and short cuts on women. Admittedly, I couldn't pull off short hair right now...

Gaining or losing weight is arguably a red herring, how hot you look has more to do with exercise and eating healthy consistently but not crash diets. Losing too much weight too quickly will make anyone (man or woman) look like a ghoul and gaining a ton of weight by eating garbage and not exercising generally looks pretty bad obviously.

[–] excral@feddit.org 19 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

I wonder if this is related to the IKEA effect. It was shown that people value something more highly if they helped creating it, like assembling IKEA furniture. Similarly it could be that people like their look better if they actively helped creating it instead of staying how they looked naturally.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Well, sure. Nobody should be proud of something they got by birth, and I do think beauty as something you DO or even buy is more egalitarian than a standard based on heredity, where you can just lose or win and can't change it.

Overall I have seen the ideal of beautiful get much more varied and diverse over my lifetime, which is nice, too.

[–] Jimbo@pawb.social 3 points 5 hours ago

Then why do I fucking hate IKEA

[–] Baggie@lemmy.zip 3 points 9 hours ago

That's a pretty interesting idea, something relating to self determination I imagine.

[–] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 16 hours ago

Creating demand is a centerpiece of a Western world since about Edward Bernays.

[–] EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Thank you. As a plus-sized girl, this is something that I really needed to see tonight. I've been feeling very ugly & disgusting because of my weight.

[–] stevles@aussie.zone 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

As someone who is married to a plus-size lady, I can assure you that anyone judging you for that is not worth the time of day. Be comfortable with who you are, if you want to change yourself in any way then do it because you want to, not because of irrelevant dillweeds.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Some of us vastly prefer plus sized girls.

[–] stevles@aussie.zone 3 points 1 hour ago

Can confirm ⬆️ Even more people prefer people that are comfortable with who they are, irrelevant of size ✌️

[–] ShadowOfMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

🫂

Being plus-sized is not a flaw and I hate how badly society treats plus-sized people. That's disgusting, the shame and fatphobia society directs against plus-sized people...it's really extreme.

You're neither ugly nor disgusting. I see you and appreciate you. I hope you are well 🩷

Thank you. <3

I feel a lot better when I am able to go to the gym regularly, but I haven't been able to go in months because I just can't afford it since I'm try to go back to school (college) and books are hella expensive.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

Women with brown/black hair are encouraged to dye their hair to look more "unique".

Women with blonde hair are encouraged to dye their hair to avoid blonde jokes.

Women with red hair are encouraged to dye their hair to avoid ginger jokes.

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 79 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

It's about making women have low self esteem and always willing to change ourselves to meet expectations. It makes it easier to get us to submit in other ways.

[–] BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago

While also selling solutions to "problems." Meta platforms in particular have set up their advertising algorithms to know when women are feeling bad about themselves based on their posts, to sell cosmetics

Yeah. I honestly hate it more and more each day :/

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 26 points 21 hours ago

Being comfortable with one's self is attractive

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I am trans, and my goal is to look as trans as possible. Take that society!

[–] SpaghettiMaster@feddit.uk 5 points 14 hours ago

How's the blahaj collection coming along?

[–] FishFace@piefed.social 4 points 16 hours ago

If you take a mathematical average of all women or all men, you get someone out that is quite attractive. A few parameters are deemed more beautiful at the extremes, but if you are: neither overweight nor starving, have slightly wavy hair, are of medium height, have averaged away all illnesses... you're starting from a good place.

[–] Titanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 1 day ago

I feel like that's some serious question?

It is like that coz some wants profits.

It is not enough to sell beauty products, as once achieved, income could drop - You need to pursuit another beauty. And poof, we have a fashion.

Nah, it was still not enough, so, they started to make You feel ugly, so spend more. Follow all these photoshopped ai enhanced pictures from ads everywhere, unreachable standard. Spend.

Fuck it, ignore standard, go get beauty in self from self (whatever that mean, rarely someone can judge self as "good enough" or "damn pretty enough").

[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 18 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Someone happy with who they are and what they have doesn't make as many purchases. In a capitalistic society, that's unacceptable.

[–] tankfox@bookwyr.me 3 points 15 hours ago

Conversely unhappy people who can't fix what's making them unhappy will go find people who can tell them something they can fix about themselves to make them happy in a different way.

All potential solutions will be offered and the ones that resonate are the ones that target things we dislike about ourselves, call it out as a Big Solvable Problem, and offer you a solution at retail prices.

So yes, everything on the right hand column is always being offered to everyone all the time, and the ones on the left hand column have enthusiastically self organized and sought their matching targeted self esteem exploit.

[–] s@piefed.world 19 points 1 day ago (5 children)

The logical conclusion of this is that only men are beautiful

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 9 hours ago

no, there's also plenty of fun beauty standards that men are required to uphold, and they also change from culture to culture. Most of the ones you see in western nations veer into toxic masculinity.

[–] SpaghettiMaster@feddit.uk 3 points 14 hours ago

Kinda accurate tbh. British comedy sketch even did this.

Women's advertising: everything is going wrong and its all your fault, you need to buy all of this shit

Men's advertising: Shave and get drunk. Because your already brilliant.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago

Thus it is not only not gay, but indeed a moral imperative, to kiss the homies.

[–] faythofdragons@piefed.social 16 points 23 hours ago

Nah, they get it too, unfortunately.

WHAT, HOW? 😭
I mean, it's true that I only find men hot, but like...how did you come to that conclusion?? 😭

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

A less interesting explanation is that everyone's comparing themselves to the mean. If any attribute is too different, it needs correcting. Weight, skin tone, number of fingers and toes, etc.

[–] BlaestEgnen@feddit.dk 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

It's the opposite, you're comparing yourself to what's exotic in your community and generally only achievable by the elites.

In Scandinavia, being tanned has been a beauty standard for decades. As most people work indoors.

In Asia being as pale as possible is the aim, as the peasants have been working outside. Being pale was the beauty standard in Europe throughout the mediaeval years, as peasants then worked outside.

Anything that can make you appear well off tends to be a beauty standard, it's arguably the main reason some circles have obvious hideous plastic surgery as a beauty standard today, it proves you're able to afford such surgery

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

To add to that, in the past being overweight and unfit was a sign of wealth. Only rich people could afford to eat and sit around all day. Nowadays it's inverted; only well off people have the time to eat healthy and exercise regularly

[–] Jimbo@pawb.social 1 points 5 hours ago

With the price of food, we'll get there again

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 5 points 18 hours ago

For some reason this reminded me of the foot binding stuff in the Benedict Wong Marco Polo series, which is legit some of the most uncomfortable scenes in TV ever.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 13 points 23 hours ago

how else can we sell all these beauty products

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I feel more like I got close to what I'd choose, just never quite to the point I couldn't do better, if that makes sense? I'm tall for a girl, 5'9" but would have liked to be one inch taller, in my legs. Thin but would like to be thinner. Pretty happy with my hair, actually, except for the color. Loose curls are what I'd choose, and are what I have. Never had a waist, and yes did want one, bone structure thing, but "elongated athletic" is a body type I like, I don't care that much.

All my hangups relate to weight. I've been thinner but never actually felt like it wouldn't look better to be even thinner, which I realize makes no sense but is still how I feel.

Agree a lot of it is created by commercial interests trying to sell things.

[–] ShadowOfMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I'm tall for a girl, 5'9"

Oof, feel you on that ;-;

It sounds to me like you already got it tho. Like, I know this isn't any help, but damn am I jealous a bit. I have never seen you, but at least from your description...yes you're beautiful 🩷

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

I know it can be different for trans ladies, but would encourage you to show it off. Height is an asset IMO. Wear heels, be tall, it's a good look, don't hide or shrink. No idea how I dodged that as an insecurity, I'm older and when I was young it was not seen as pretty, but models got tall and still it's mostly tall ladies who model, right? Because it's pretty, the long lines.

[–] Hegar@fedia.io 3 points 22 hours ago

"You can never please
Ever-y-body In This World!" The Shaggs

[–] Klear@piefed.world 3 points 1 day ago