Two glasses of chocolate milk at the same time
this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2026
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One day, your desires will devour you
YES
The pair thing makes sense.
Fun story...
Back in the late 90s, several friends and I were doing the extreme Frisbee thing. An hour or so of just running around like the idiots we were, full tilt.
We stop and hit up the gas station at the corner. Most of us pick up things like Gatorade or soda etc... Not Dave.
This legend grabs 2 fucking jugs, about a gallon in total between them, of full fat chocolate milk.
We get to the check out, pay for the batch. Most of us start drinking right there because we're absurdly thirsty.
Dave pounds down both jugs immediately... Not even stopping for breath.
You likely see this coming.... We all did. Slow motion car crash...
Up it comes without delay. Just 1/2/3...
Chocolate milk
Chocolate milk
..... Chocolate milk.
The attendant for the shop got a $150 tip that day.
Dave was the best.
I had a coworker named Frank. Frank was not the smartest guy. He wasn't even the biggest guy. But Frank could EAT. He took a first date to a pizza place once and split an 18" pizza. The date had a slice. Frank ate the rest.
Around 2007 or so, there was this milk challenge thing floating around where people online were trying to drink a gallon of milk. All of them inevitably failed, because that is a shit load of milk. However, Frank was convinced that he could do it. So much so that he was willing to put money on it. We had a conversation like this.
Me: Frank, no way can you drink a gallon of milk. It's too much.
Frank: Absolutely I can. Wait. Can it be chocolate milk?
Me: Sure, Frank. Normal. Chocolate. Doesn't matter.
Frank: Oh then absolutely I can.
As dumb as Frank was though, he was actually smart...ish on this one. Before doing it at work with money on the line, he wanted to do it at home first. So he went home that night and tried it.
Next day, Frank surprisingly wasn't at work. He had called in sick. When he finally came back, I asked him how his attempt went. Frank didn't want to talk about it.
Hell yeah Dave
1 man 2 cups
And the third wish: Hoping the tummy ache goes away fast because you just drank way too much choccy mjölk
Damn lactose intolerance
Worth it though for the tjøccy mjölk
tjoccy mjölk :(
but u need the choccy mjölk to wash down the câke!
(happy cake day!)
Patently untrue.
We desire to drink directly from the jug.
Put 4 shots of espresso in them then yes.
That’s why I order a mocha. It’s chocky milk and no one can accuse you of not being an adult.
Can confirm, though 'tis the season to start temporarily substituting eggnog for the choccy milk.
You skipped Apple cider season!
I'm not lactose intolerant, but after 2 glasses my stomach is like, calm down their buddy. I'd down a whole gallon if I could.
I really wouldn't be so sure that you're not lactose-intolerant.
Something to be aware of is that it's not a disease, it's actually the default for an adult mammal to lose the ability to digest lactose, because evolution doesn't expect us to continue drinking boob juice forever.
It's mostly just Northern Europe that doesn't typically have it + of course, the regions that got colonized from there: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance#Epidemiology
If you can find some pre-mixed chocolate oat milk somewhere, I can recommend trying that. For, uh, science reasons, I happen to know that I can consume a liter of it at once.
At that point, some parts of my body do want me to calm down, just because it's a huge amount of liquid to consume in one go.
So, maybe you're hitting the same after just two glasses, but your description also seriously just sounds like a light lactose-intolerance to me.
moth does not like the taste of milk. or the idea of it either.
I’m definitely known to dabble in some chocolate milk
aw gosh I never realized I could fantasize about a second one 🫠
Thank you for not putting ice in it like advertisements often do.
Yes, and I do so lol But now I'm of the age where the second fantasy has to stay a fantasy or my fantasy of still fitting into my pants will be what remains a fantasy...
Not always true. Give me regular milk or give me water. Never had any interest in chocolate milk.
By regular you mean human, right? Sure would be weird to drink the secretions from other animals' udders.
HERETIC!
Not me, but I could reasonably qualify as not a man.
That’s chai, bro.
don't call me bro, pal