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More grocery stores around me are creating this: one line to a huge silo of like 15+ self checkouts and one employee that just like corrals you to whatever is open and helps out with issues

In grocery stores that have more trust for the community this can work really well however it may be a double edged sword: Wegmans has a very pleasant experience for example. The scanners are effective, they don’t bother weighing your bag to make sure you didn’t steal, they can even auto identify produce with shocking accuracy, and they still keep several manned lanes open. However, that last point is key as Wegmans has rolled out facial recognition technology to track shoppers. That is probably the main reason they feel comfortable lowering their guard in those ways and it’s far worse imo. What’s even more fucked up is that this is mainly widely known bc New York requires them to post signs informing people who enter the store of this, whereas other states where they operate like PA and NJ don’t have this regulation and they silently track customers

It’s frustrating beyond belief that once again we have to trade our dignity for a reasonable experience

Trader Joe's has one line that feeds into all the registers, and all the registers are open & manned by overly-friendly attentive workers.

I'm curious what region you're from. I've never heard of grocery stores being called groceries. I've only ever heard the products from grocery stores called groceries.

Checkers (in South Africa) has two big lines, each serving about 10 registers. I imagine having two is slightly more efficient than having one, because the next person doesn't have to walk as far

The Costco near me used to have one single line for all lanes of self checkout machines, it was great. Then some months ago they switched it to a line per lane and I hate it so much. I think it's just stupid "perceptions" — people probably just "feel like" it takes longer when it's one long line, so they're happy to wait longer in a shorter line because visually "their turn is coming soon."

Self checkout has gotten better. Back in the day they didn't work for crap. But it's still often a matter of luck of the draw and whether or not there is a god somewhere that decides to piss on your parade that day.

In the immortal words of Dirty Harry, "Do ya feel lucky punk? Well, do ya?"

Unexpected item in the bagging area

Never had any issue like that.

• If someone doesn’t show up for the random bag check in 30 seconds or so it just automatically skips it.
• If you scan alcohol it just beeps on the hand-terminal of the person overseeing the self checkout area and they take one look and click approve if you look old enough. You can just keep scanning while that happens. If you look young enough that you need to show ID then they usually show up within seconds anyway.

The rest of the things you mention just never happen.

Self checkout is a godsend. No more waiting in line. No more awkward small talk with the cashier. No more unpacking and repacking your groceries.

if you need to get a lot of stuff you just grab a portable scanner at the entrance or use your phone. Scan and bag while you go through the store, then return the scanner and just scan your phone at the self-checkout terminal and pay. Zero friction.

I only found this to be a problem with the early ones. Aldi was the first shop I found to use pretty decent ones, and they also took a long time to switch, IIRC initially they didn't like the quality of the self checkouts available. Of course all the other shops in my area were using near decade old self checkouts by that point.