this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2026
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"Laugh-a-Palooza: Unleash Your Inner Chuckle!"

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[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 7 points 6 days ago

Why don't they leave these in the draws in hotels instead of bibles ?

[–] Sv443@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 days ago

I guess we'd be summoning the Chinese cum yokai

[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Ask her if she has everything she needs in the book and if she has enough stock.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 days ago

Crush harder

[–] bcgm3@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Lobster font has become endemic, it's truly everywhere.

[–] Egonallanon@feddit.uk 51 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, thats her job.

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Marry her. True love will follow.

[–] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Men can practise witchcraft too

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 5 points 1 week ago

Well now, there's a thought. We even come with a nearly inexhaustible supply of the primary material component for the spell too.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hell yea brother. She tried to dominate you but you control the source! Draw a pentagram on her lower back to lock her in!

[–] voxthefox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 week ago

Brace for the wild ride

[–] neo2478@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago

Help her with supplies for her spell obviously

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Significantly less threatening than this book:

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Yum yum in the tum tum

[–] FRYD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 week ago

Ask them about it. That’s a wild title and it’s a well worn book. There’s gotta be some interesting stories behind it.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I heard there was a grimoire and came as fast as I could.

[–] Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Funny you should mention that, i have a book here that may help us with those results

[–] BaraCoded@literature.cafe 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'll have a chuckle, then I won't mind it, because it's a crush so my judgment is impaired. Time will pass, and from one shitty tarot reading to yet another zodiac tantrum, not forgetting about the lithotherapy pushes, I will slowly come to see that my partner has an output on reality that is completely disconnected from said reality, in which I will feel lonelier and lonelier, until I'm not even feeling like I'm in a couple anymore: I'm the companion of a child in an aging body who has to believe in the magical to cope with the world, instead of being in it with me.

If it's all steming from traumas, I'll first try to have the partner consult a therapist.

If it's not, this couple is over. There is no difference between that and AI psychosis. Same with religious partners.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 week ago

I'm sorry for whatever happened to you.

[–] TIN@feddit.uk 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why is the witch in the cover art pouring a black liquid into the goblet? Is that... Should it look...

Guys, have I been doing this wrong??

[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 7 points 1 week ago

It's what happens if you eat too much black licorice.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Karjalan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How is it possible that this has Zero reviews?

[–] spiffmeister@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago

Be the change you want to see.

[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Guys wallet, guys lighter so therfore guys semen book. There are no girls in this storey

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I assume a dark color like black and not something pink, but i dont speak for all men some guys might perfer pink bics

[–] MrOtingocni@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Bust a load on the cover and close the drawer.

I'm a helper!

[–] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

That sounds like you're in for some incredible sex with maybe an unstable person.

Everybody who’s ever seen “What We Do in The Shadows” knows witches are semen stealers.

[–] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Realize how desperate she was and that explains why she settled for me and maybe we'll actually have a long-lasting relationship where I don't have to be worried every day that it'll finally be the day she figures out she is too good. Also maybe participate in any rituals that sound fun.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

As a heterosexual woman, I would certainly be confused. I would read it, though.

[–] shininghero@pawb.social 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Read it, obviously. There's bound to be all sorts of wacky shit in that tome.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Buy it, read it, bond with her over our mutual love of books.

[–] dumples@piefed.social 5 points 1 week ago

I'm married to a witchy women. It's great. Green flags all around except I have never seen that book specifically but looks like fun

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago

No need to worry. They're probably desperate for either a loving partner or some other long term relationship. So I might have found a potential red/green flag.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

I know everyone is having fun with this, but the actual answer for me is to get out of dodge. That's a flavour of crazy I don't feel like dealing with.

Besides, getting a man to like you isn't that difficult.

[–] jefmz@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago

I’d definitely ask her about it first 😂 That’s one book I wouldn’t pretend I didn’t see

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Talk about consent, set some boundaries, then ask which one I can help with because I'm interested in learning more. This mutual desire to explore strange things is probably why we got together and got to know each other in the first place.

[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

How does a vasectomy affect the spells?

[–] turdburglar@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago

take them on a date to see obsession

[–] prettybunnys@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago

I’d question why Mr.bunnys is doing semen-Magiks without me

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Steal it and sell it on ebay, along with everything else I can get.

If she's your "crush" it's not reciprocal. It's better to face that fact and move on, but no reason you can profit.

Her fault for letting her stalker in her house.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago
[–] zabadoh@ani.social 1 points 1 week ago

It clearly worked, because she's your crush!

[–] sixtoe@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago
[–] jesuisatire@social.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

@JimHollow

you smoke a joint?

[–] DebatableRaccoon@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 week ago

Make sure to not leave so much as a hair in her place when you bail. She's the type of crazy to put a curse on you... or try, at least.