Needs a cheat sheet for his own name. I like this guy.
this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2026
589 points (98.0% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
42826 readers
3728 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
I don't know what that's from, but the premise of "person thinks name tag is for their benefit" alone would be funny enough even if it was actually a name tag.
That's from Doctor Who. In case you're not familiar, the Doctor - here portrayed by Matt Smith - is an alien super genius who's also a bit daft. There's loads more to the character, but if you really aren't familiar, I wouldn't want to deprive you of the fun of discovering it.
One thing to note: the Doctor has been played by many actors over many, many years. Personally, Matt Smith is my favorite, but all of the ones I've watched have had something to enjoy about them. All of them portray the character differently, so the tone of the show does change somewhat depending on where you start.
I haven't seen many of the older actors, nor either of the more recent two, so I can't recommend for or against them.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Used to get so black out wed write our address on our arm and just point to it when the taxi or cops came.
Probably not his name, but still solid
The name was my favorite part. Like he's the worst spy imaginable.
load more comments
(1 replies)
$75k salary, a house, a boat, a lake house, and a trust fund. What year is this?
This is Mississippi, Meridian; $30k is middle class.
"a house" Shares a duplex with a drug dealer. "a boat" Dealer took a guys boat who racked up debt, but it's sitting mostly in your backyard. "lake house" Their street floods regularly. "trust fund" He trusts the money he keeps hidden in the back of the bathroom sink is still there.
Debt is a hell of a drug
Doesn't matter what year it is if your parents are stacked.
Pace yourself, 5 beers an hour lol
Sounds more like he's in sales than finance.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Really hate when I forget my own name in the middle of a date.
He's drinking 5 beers/hour, it's a good precaution.
Getting your legends mixed up is bad tradecraft
load more comments
(1 replies)
Disclaimer: i recognize this post is a joke
You will never find the Honda you're shopping for if your filters are set to Toyota
But it's still fun to drive around town.
Har har ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
I bought my toyota before he went crazy.
load more comments
(2 replies)
"Astrology is such bullshit. Flowers hate sex, so they get bees to do their dirty work. I've never heard of the Colleen hoover, is it a good brand? Primus sucks. I feel I could be a main character on Grey's Anatomy. I like you woman, you don't talk much, unlike that Taylor Swiftmouth."
Why am I single?
Primus sucks!
I've really been wanting to get into astrology. Do you want to go to the local telescope depository?
All you need is a star chart and a sense of wild abandon.
What's your sign? Born in March? Yes, looks like you're an... Ursa major! What good fortune!
Yes yes sign of the empty bowl: you will forever be searching for the perfect cup of pho. beauty lies in front of you, perfection is in love and in your family. you must harvest [5 human hearts] for your broth for perfect pho.
i'm really not sure about this translation
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Neurodivergent people: where can I buy this?
The real trick to relationships for neurodivergent people is that you REALLY need to date other neurodivergent people.
It's so much easier than having to explain why you need a nap after the neighbor set off fireworks in the middle of the day after it interrupted an attempt to mow lawn.
For anyone windering. Its called a "wrist map pouch".
load more comments
(1 replies)
5 beers and hour max? Now that's a responsible man.
Nice to see Violet is getting back into the dating scene.
If pacing yourself is five beers an hour what is Michael's regular intake?
4 beers.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Honestly, more men should wear thick soled shoes on causal dates. Women have so much help to boost their natural attractiveness; we gotta even the playing field.
get your shirts tailored. if you can't afford to tailor your date night shirts, buy cheaper shirts and get them tailored. secondhand and tailored looks better than new and not fitting you perfectly.
I wear sleeveless shirts. Got to show some of that side moob.
Balance is being restored. All aboard the hammertrain choo choo
load more comments
(1 replies)
Nah, just spend the week before the date going over all that stuff in your head over and over and over, making sure it basically the only thing on your mind. Practice ALL the conversations you're going to have. over and over again.
Then when things don't go exactly as rehearsed, panic and blurt out something stupid. If they laugh, they're a keeper. And if they don't leave it means they have flag color blindness.
Perfect system.
load more comments
(1 replies)
5 beers per hour?
Man I'm old but even when a wasn't old 5 beers per hour would have me pretty trashed.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Five beers an hour WHILE there's a tequila shot right next to him
That's just to get up the nerve to drive over there.
... Wait...
ok, in which freedom units do I have to think, such that 5 beers/h falls under "pace yourself"?
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›