Microblog Memes

Took the existing uncensored fuck and copy/pasted it over the engagement bait censorship

i wish i could communicate with spiders electronically through an application adjacent to direct messaging or group chats on social media. visually and physically they freak me out but if i could have casual conversations with them without having to look at them i would indeed be interested in being friends if the platonic chemistry were right. i would also happily tell them about where i see flies that bother me and places where their webs would be safe from my unintended interference.

A black spider set up house in the corner of my bathroom next to the automatic nightlight at the start of summer. He/she(?) has been quite successful at hunting flies. There is a pile below the web of about 15 or 20 tiny black packages, neatly wrapped. I almost never see flies in the house, I don't know how the spider has caught so many--yes, I understand those two things are related, but it seems like I'd see them flying around before they got caught in the web. Also, I'm not certain they're flies, but they all look the same and are about the right size, and I don't know what else they could be, I don't see any other bugs in the house.

Anyhoo, I'm debating what I should do about the spider, if anything. One is fine, but I do not want hundreds more.

Good luck to the spiders trying to learn the routine I don't have.

The spiders that live in our houses are also often unsuited or unable to live outdoors.

Love spiders. They clean my home of bugs, flies, roach. But some damn mosquitoes are still out there, should I bring in more spiders?

I kinda miss the wolf spider that lived in my bathroom window. Such a chill little roommate. It just kinda showed up one day, set up its little web, and we each just minded our own business.

I kept my showers short, never opened the window, and if I swatted a fly in the kitchen, I'd deposit it in its web. Never gave me much in return. But that's fine. I was just happy to have its company.

At one point in my life I was living in a dank California basement room, spending 99% of my time in bed due to a severe mental health crisis, 2 years straight.

One night I saw a spider chilling at the bottom of one of my bedposts. I took a picture of it and went back to bed.

8 years later I used image search to identify what kind of spider it was.

It was a brown recluse the size of my hand.

can learn our routines

The spiders in my room are very concerned about how little sleep I'm getting and how irregular my bedtime is

Thanks to the commentator who provided an uncensored version - have a bonus meme

Don't just thank them replace your shitty censored version with it

I'm terribly sorry to my spider friends. You see, I'm an ADHD creature and that means there aren't really much of routines to learn. Must be frustrating for them!

I would 100% prefer seeing spiders in my home than mosquites and cockroaches, but then again I dont live in Australia and spiders are tiny asf

Every year it takes a few times of walking through a web near the house entrance before they keep the webs only up in the corners. Not sure if it's adaptive or the ones who get webs destroyed by my face die off but somehow they always figure it out.

House spiders are almost exclusively harmless and gain a terrible reputation. Down here in the south east we have an abundance of orb weaver spiders.

Absolutely gorgeous and, for the most part, totally harmless. I genuinely don't understand why people are so terrified of these things. Spiders are one of the reasons we're not completely overrun with insects and other pests, and most species would much rather avoid us than have anything to do with us.

The brown recluse and black widow should obviously be treated with respect, but even they are highly misunderstood. Neither species is particularly aggressive toward humans, and bites are relatively uncommon. They generally bite only when threatened, trapped against the skin, or otherwise disturbed. Their reputation is considerably worse than their actual behavior.

Spiders aren't out looking for people to bite. They're predators doing an extremely useful job of keeping insect populations under control. Unless you have a medically significant species in your home, there's usually very little reason to be afraid of them and quite a few reasons to appreciate them.

We build some pretty ballin caves

Spiders are great. Just today my husband cheered me up while I'm sick by saying a new spider moved in on the porch last night and it caught a huge bug. I oozed my way outdoors so I could view it's work.

People need to start learning and stop being such babies. They are small in comparison to you and most can't or don't want to hurt you, only biting when you try to squish them.

Note: Australia is exempt from all that. You do you, boo. Note2: excellent webwork and indeed a large bug

I had to evict the jumping spider that lived in my curtains for 2 years because I was moving, I felt terrible. That little lady worked hard and earned her place, I offered to bring her to the new apartment, but she declined, I wish her the best.

I love having spiders in my residence. Sometimes I find them stuck in the bathtub or sink and I save them and let them go free. Like yes my spider bro, keep eating the fruit flies and other annoying bugs. I like the little creepy centipede looking bugs also because they eat bedbugs and other insects. (Spiders and other natural predators of bedbugs will not mitigate an active bed bug infestation.)

My cat was getting into the basement at my exes house, and the spiders SENT A FUCKING MESSAGE. They got their biggest guy to come up and perch on the toilet paper in the bathroom. I decided I didn't need to pee and secured the basement door better from then on.

I have figured cockroaches do the same

I scold the spiders in my home and tell them, "Do your job!!" when there are flying bugs in my home