What kind of fucking savage uses Excel as a password manager?
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2026
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The publicly traded company I recently worked for did. You'd be surprised, people are lazy.
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In Japan, we use Excel for storing passwords. Creating technical manuals. Or make presentations that would do better in PowerPoint. Database you say? Yes, also!
You have the best username I've ever seen on Lemmy.
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The kind of savage whose company is too cheap for a LastPass enterprise license?
I used to trust last pass but with all their security breaches in the past few years...
You would be appalled to deal with c-suites
Customer
Classic customer
Worked in the UK for one of the largest Japanese multinationals. Our team required several government accounts with different passwords. I asked IT what are my options and they said we have none, and that their team used a text file on a shared drive so I did it on Excel instead to make to make it more searchable. If they're not willing to let you install keepass or buy any software, what can you do!
I knew a guy that stored business login credentials in a Google sheet. Black text on black background was what made it "secure." Because you have to know that they're credentials and click on the field.
It’s ok, it’s only on the hr lady’s computer and she always locks the door
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My wife.
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Next you will tell me they are using Excel as a database.
I used to work at a company that processed business-end taxes.
I’m going to make my American compatriots very uncomfortable - I've very possibly seen your full social and address info. We handled about a third of all business taxes. I don’t care to use any of it, cuz I also got wage info. Y’all broke. (Same)
because the company I worked for processed your taxes. And your HR people are garbage and don't know how to do their job.
I cannot tell you how many times I had to request my IT team to scrub files from our retention policy because your shitty HR sent it to me in cleartext to troubleshoot instead of through our encrypted box.
Well my company HR was so dumb I used to be able to look up everyone's personal information and income because they tried using Salesforce to store employee data but didn't know how permissions worked.
As one of the lower paid employees according to that info. It was not my problem. I don't work in IT and didn't get hired for my technical experience, so I offer none.
I work at a school. I have access to a label maker. I put "NewPasswd = hunter2" on the inside of my work laptop because Im immature. Caught 2 people trying to login with it. (worst part is only 1 was a student...)
Why is your password just asterisks?
Excel is whatever you want it to be.
https://github.com/AyrA/ExcelStuff
Edit: Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20141028042934/reddit.com/r/excel/comments/2jtd2f/worked_on_a_completely_locked_down_machine_time/
If it's not a password manager, why is it managing my passwords?
Because you believe in circular reasoning and you are begging the question
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I have an aexcel sheet like this. it is a decoy. has about 100 legit looking passwords, none of which are real.
Be like me and use notepad!
Notepad++ inside an encrypted container.
The password to the encrypted container? Believe it or not, in Notepad.
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Everyone knows the best password manager is notepad!
Pleb. Notepad+
I knew a senior engineer who did this. Granted I don't blame him, elevated accounts (basically admin accounts) had corporate assigned 36 character(letter, number and special) randomly generated passwords which expired every 6 hours. If you used the account on more than 3 computers the password expires.
To get new password you had to log in with normal account, go to special website, log in with your account and a authenticator code from company phone, request new password, write in a reason why you need it, go back to homepage of special website, approve your own request, go to your manager, ask them to approve it also, go back to special website, likely need to relogin including authenticator, finally new password is shown on screen for 30 seconds....
Noob. Notepad++
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"Excel is the second best tool for most jobs"
- From the passwords.doc file on the desktop
Bitwarden exported my passwords to a spreadsheet file when i decided to mitigate away from it.
So for it has been my go-to with libreoffice until i find a better solution 😅
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you don't really need to hack the excel sheet, most corporate passwords are the name of the company with a 3 replacing the e and an exclamation mark
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That's right, notepad is.
Just use a marker and write it on the wall. If the person trying to get access are in the room you are likely dead from some terrible mistake of science and this way at least you can add to the lore.
You want me to store my passwords on servers owned by like Amazon?
Make sure to store it in a cloud-synced folder
No need to remind people of that. Microslop will manage to get it on their cloud one way or another. Just need a few more dark patterns. Maybe have an update silently change the 'Ctrl + S' shortcut to be 'save to OneDrive' instead of just 'save'.
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I think the reason excel is always there like a cockroach is that it gives people programming capabilities without programming
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Is this gatekeeping?
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