Bonus
"Fighting for custody of his organs" is an incredible turn of phrase. That Ronaldo guy should be a poet or writer.
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2026
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Microblog Memes
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A lot of my friends have very creative idioms and the like. I have a ravenous appetite for things like this
A friend of mine has described an unpleasant bathroom experience as "birthing a hooved animal". Makes me laugh every time I hear it.
Once had a friend comment, "have you ever felt like you should apologize to the toilet for what you just did?"
The look on the host's face was priceless.
Eat some fiber once in a while, folks
Yeah, like some good old tainted lettuce, ya dinguses
Are there tariffs on British lettuces?
The US has troubles of its own, they don't want our tainted lettuce!
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Why? What are you implying?!
::takes shirt off::
Idk what it is, but I think I get plenty of fiber in my diet but I still regularly have problems with this. My doc told me drinking water with the fiber is important, but I’m pretty sure I’m already drinking lots of water too. So… idk, if it gets bad enough maybe I’ll go look into it some more.
Could be your gut microbiome. Try eating more fermented foods and probiotics. Yogurt, kombucha, things like that.
Also, be aware of the difference between soluble and insoluble fiber. Pay attention to which one you're getting the most of and see if getting more of the other one helps.
#arethecarnistsokay
You can eat fiber and meat lmao
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some of y'all need to eat some g-d vegetables
Beans
Also, bidet.
Break out the poop knife as well
I misread "shirt" as "shift," and I was like, "damn, 8h to take a shit? What was he eating?" lol
Just his shirt, i strip naked
I do that in public urinals.
You must have small feet
It's how you came into this world, might as well go out the same way
Sometimes I just need that extra ankular distance to open up the passageways a little more
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I do this so my clothes don't absorb the smell of shit
I’d be more concerned if he took a portion of his shirt off
I had a teacher who would occasionally wear only one sleeve of a sweater. He claimed it was too hot with the whole thing on. Looked weird.
Here you are with a teacher trying to show kids we don't all have to fit in the same mold, and you call it weird. smh
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Fightin, Lovin, Poopin is the Journey song we needed but never got.
Now it's your turn boy to cryy!
Nahhh nahh n-nahhh nahh nah
In the immortal words of Howie Mandel, "it's my potty and I'll cry if I want to."
You MFers need some fiber in your diet. Otherwise you are gonna end up with a brain aneurysm from pressing so much.
Could be the opposite. I like to think he was hoping to achieve lift-off.
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If I think it's going to be a journey and I'm not in a situation where I don't care what my shirt looks like (like doing chores on the weekend) but a nice shirt I don't want to wrinkle more than I need to... shirt's coming off.
Sometimes you just need more skin touching air, sometimes it's the sweat making tattle tale creases.
Sometimes just need to feel free
WTF are americans eating to make pooping so hard?
Freedom.
(awe, that joke was a reflex but looking at it now just makes me sad)
I just do this so that my shirt doesn't get in the way when wiping
Cut out the middleman and just wipe with your shirt
I first read that as “took his entire shift off” and thought yeah that’s not normal. Way worse than just taking your shirt off.
It frees us up. No encumbrances.
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