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I can't speak for autism specifically, I'm on the ADHD and trauma train myself.
If you're experiencing heightened emotions, emotional disregularion, or both, it's pretty important to have a real control over how those emotions present.
It sucks, it's unfair, here we are. Unfortunately to live in a society that doesn't accept you, you have to build certain skill sets. It's certainly better than a lot of people that ignore the issue.
I am autistic and can empathize with this feeling, but I’m not sure I understand what question you’re asking. Could you elaborate?
Im older. The memories are fuzzy. However, I can remember actually sobbing through some tasks while being screamed at, whether for not being fast enough, protesting about having to touch something that was highly uncomfortable, or whatever. Screamed at and sobbing as I had to do what was expected of me.
Did it expand my tolerance? Sure did. Do I have C-ptsd? Sure do.
Ugh me too. Shitty club to be in. Sending you internet hugs!
Aspie checking in, emotional control is important but that does not mean we have to suffer everything in silence. Part of emotional control is recognising when things become overwhelming and communicating that, ideally to find a solution that works for all.
Ironically, in your story you were the more emotionally regulated one. Your parents should have communicated their emotional stress (from making people wait) in a better manner.
I can’t just lash out since there are repercussions for doing so
Is your question "does being autistic provide protection from negative repercussions from lashing out"? If so, I think you have already identified it does not, unfortunately.
I totally get how infuriating this situation is. I'd be losing my mind too. I don't mean to put words in your mouth but I'd question if it's a matter of
I’m the type of person who likes to do things at my own speed
versus not being able to go faster because of executive function limitations or other features of autism. I know if I'm rushed I make a lot of mistakes and really simple things become super hard. For example, even gathering the things I need to shower (towel, razor, is the body wash bottle empty?, did I take off my jewelry? Is my hair bushed if I'm washing it? Tied up tightly if not?) can take a few tries if I'm rushing and I can get more flustered with each thing I need to redo. And if someone was telling me to hurry up? My persistent demand for autonomy would be GOING OFF.
It sounds like it might have been your parents pushing you. I don't have helpful advice for that, nor am I sure you are asking for it. I'm sorry they are not understanding, that sucks.
With other people I find that sometimes I am assuming they are judging or annoyed and am actually often wrong about it (I'm being self conscious). I'll sometimes explain that I have a disability that makes x task challenging and ask for their patience. The specifics I mention depend on the context, but maybe in a situation like this I'd say to the airport staff, "hey, I have a condition that makes getting my stuff together quickly challenging, is there somewhere I can stand that's out of the way?" That way they know you aren't just being inconsiderate or whatever other reason they might be annoyed at and maybe they will control the speed of people coming after you to avoid a bottleneck on the other side of the detectors. They would be patient with people with visible disabilities (hopefully), so making them aware can help. This is hard to do if you are not expecting to get flustered because by the time it happens, it's hard to use words and not just get upset.
I think you can mention autism (or limitations) in order to explain why it's taking longer and hopefully get some grace, but I don't think it would result in a better outcome if only used to explain lashing out.
Regardless of anything, you are 100% responsible for your actions.
Sure, you are responsible for your actions, but you are not always responsible for the results of your actions. Sometimes people/society force other people into situations where all actions will lead to bad results. And the people who force others into those situations love to blame the victims.
No matter who you are, it's your responsibility to figure out how to not let your emotions dictate your actions as much as you possibly can. Sadly, it is discouraged in society at-large because learning this skill makes you less susceptable to being manipulated.
I don't think it's an easy thing for anyone to get a grip on, but you absolutely can learn how to do it as an autistic person.
Yes, unfortunately. Also important if you want to be seen a certain way by your people who observe you, and treated with respect. I get those moments of over stimulation, and when I really feel like I'm about to lose control, I literally just tell the people around me that I'm overstimulated and I go find a book to read or something for a bit. Not really a great option in the airport but there are lots of tricks for cooling yourself off and taking yourself out of the moment when it's overwhelming. If I ever poorly self-regulate I get quite frustrated with myself, and I always regret my actions afterwards