this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2026
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Today I Learned

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[–] anewfox@lemmy.zip 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

and reminder, these places make more money if you don't find a match. they are actively disincentivized from doing their stated job.

same is true for companies like incogni. if mass data harvesting is made illegal, they're out of a job. and many of them are owned by companies that also own data brokers. the removal process is often just sending your data to a data broker and asking if they have it, which obviously just hands that data right over in the process. they will make more money from data harvesting staying legal and they know it.

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[–] bluegreenpurplepink@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Isn't their reason for existence now just to harvest your data?

Many of the sites charge subscriptions. They exist to make money no matter how they do it.

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 111 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Yep. it's essentially a ridiculous, yet somehow legal racket.

[–] TeaWithDani@lemmy.world 44 points 4 days ago (3 children)

And they convinced several generations that using them is necessary for dating.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 36 points 4 days ago (4 children)

It somewhat is for some people. Like where are you going to meet people of the opposite gender? I don't think most women want to be hit on at work, gym, grocery stores, whatever. Men are starved enough for attention that many of us will appreciate any, anywhere, anytime, but I'm not into guys.

We need a real-life amulet of Mara tbh.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 37 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Except third spaces have been systematically dismantled by capitalist interests, and the dating app industry's astroturfing on social media has done a lot of damage to the perceived validity of meeting someone in person organically.

You can't just say dating apps are necessary because there's nowhere else to meet people and ignore the fact that that very problem is socially engineered. It's manufactured scarcity.

Like if nestle were to poison a town's water supply so that they could sell more water bottles. After buying out deer park, dasani, and aquafina. And patenting the idea of selling water in bottles. You wouldn't say "actually it's necessary to buy their water bottles," you would say "that's fucked up and should be illegal."

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Agreed on third spaces, but it's mostly because of car-centric city design and everyone having to work 40h or more a week (leaves little time to even visit those spaces). The dating apps have capitalised on it, but the change has been happening since before them. And also drinking has fallen out of fashion with young people... Bars and clubs were a major place to meet new people in the past. If you look at the statistics now, Gen Z barely drinks at all. In my country, most clubs are shutting down because people under 50 barely go and people over 50 are starting to get too old to go. Bars are still fairly popular among younger people, but not as much as even a decade ago.

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[–] DeLancre@piefed.social 13 points 4 days ago (5 children)

The wildest part is that all those apps in post basically useless, even if you pretty — girls there in free market basically, where they can choose anyone who messaged them, there no point for them to seek attention first.

And in just a minute after registering on grindr I got hit on multiple times. So yeah, I guess I'm gay now.

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[–] TeaWithDani@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

My advice for dating has always been: focus on making friends first. Meet people from work, sign up for a class, rekindle with old friends, volunteer somewhere. Just make new guy and girl friends, don't go in looking for anything more.

You start inviting people for stuff, you'll get invited to stuff. Then other people might show up to, friends of friends, relatives, etc... Such and such might not be into you, but she has a cousin the same age. Or such and such is a cool friend and he has a female best friend he brings along to parties.

Worst case scenario you are single and have a really healthy social life. Then when you least expect it... bam someone falls out from somewhere you never expected. lol

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[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Absorbing other companies is illegal under anti-trust, but taking a company as a subsidiary is not, which is the workaround for anti-trust. It gives the false illusion of competition being available.

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[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 40 points 4 days ago (6 children)

the best way to avoid monopoly charges, is to create multiple companies that "compete" with eachother, that you own.

Luxotica learned this a long time ago, which is why they profit on almost any pair of glasses you buy, and why no one things its a monopoly

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[–] moldy_rice@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com 70 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Federated dating app when?

[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 41 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] moldy_rice@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com 49 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] mattyroses@lemmy.today 25 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

OKComrade - we ONLY swipe left

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[–] DeLancre@piefed.social 24 points 4 days ago

I think it can be replaced with the group chat in matrix.

There no point in making dating app for 5 users.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago (2 children)

When someone wants to moderate it.

Hint: ain't nobody want that

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[–] fruitycoder@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Dremor@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

From my tests, it is full of fake bot account, bugs (my account simply vanished, twice, without reason), and moderation is basically nonexistent.

None of my 30+ interactions was with a genuine human, all of them were crypto scams, or similar scams.

It comes from a good idea, but god it is badly done.

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[–] Janx@piefed.social 29 points 4 days ago (4 children)

One giant corporation, profiting off of, and intentionally worsening the loneliness epidemic by buying up all the dating apps, pushing premium features, and matching you with bots... It's shit like this that gives me trust issues with government, big business, rich people, etc...

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[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Is that why they all feel the same and suck equally?

OKCupid used to be great. Felt different. Less corporate I guess. Easier to talk to people. Was shit the last time I checked a handful of years ago.

Fun Fact: OKCupid used to be SparkNotes, which used to be a CliffNotes type site. Then they started doing user generated quizes. Which X-Men would you be? Then it was randomly a dating site one day.

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[–] Arctic_monkey@leminal.space 13 points 3 days ago

Could we have a fediverse dating app? What would it look like? How would we go about it?

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Pour one out for the greatest dating website of all time, Craigslist Personals. You just posted a picture, wrote literally whatever essay you wanted, and you could subscribe to custom search results as an RSS feed.

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[–] MrOtingocni@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Pour one out for Okcupid. In its heyday it was such a fun site.

[–] Yeller_king@reddthat.com 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I met my wife there 14 years ago. I feel bad for people who are dating now. Seems bad out there.

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[–] frunch@lemmy.world 48 points 4 days ago

Makes perfect sense! How many companies would you expect to own all the popular dating sites? 5? 10?

Of course not! There should only be one company controlling entire markets, it's the American way 🤡

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 4 days ago

Twenty years ago, dating apps would introduce you to people you wanted to be with. In fact, there were no apps. They were websites.

That I actually had success meeting someone that I love and care about shows a flaw in their business model rather than a successful match. They accidentally lost two customers after extrapolating a lot of money from me without being helpful for more than a decade.

[–] callouscomic@lemmy.zip 13 points 3 days ago

Wait til you learn about local news.

[–] Delilah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Here are all the sites the match group owns. All of the '* people meet' sites are making me laugh.

Archer Asian People Meet Babyboomer People Meet BB People Meet Black Christian People Meet Black People Meet Black Professional People Meet BLK Catholic People Meet Chinese People Meet Chispa Delightful Democratic People Meet Divorced People Meet Genxpeoplemeet Her Hinge Indiamatch Interracial People Meet Italian People Meet J People Meet Latino People Meet Ldsplanet Little People Meet Loveandseek Marriage Minded People Meet Match.com Match Japan OkCupid Ourtime Pairs People Meet Pet People Meet Plenty of Fish Republican People Meet Salams Seniorblack People Meet Single People Meet Sniffies (minority stake)[63][64] Stir The League Tinder Upward Yuzu

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 62 points 4 days ago (11 children)

If you want each entry to appear on a new line, you need to put two spaces at the end of each line.

Line 1
Line 2

If you want a paragraph break, use two newlines

Paragraph 1

Paragraph 2

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 59 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Archer

Asian People Meet

Babyboomer People Meet

BB People Meet

Black Christian People Meet

Black People Meet

Black Professional People Meet

BLK

Catholic People Meet

Chinese People Meet

Chispa

Delightful

Democratic People Meet

Divorced People Meet

Genxpeoplemeet

Her

Hinge

Indiamatch

Interracial People Meet

Italian People Meet

J People Meet

Latino People Meet

Ldsplanet

Little People Meet

Loveandseek

Marriage Minded People Meet

Match.com

Match Japan

OkCupid

Ourtime

Pairs

People Meet

Pet People Meet

Plenty of Fish

Republican People Meet

Salams

Seniorblack People Meet

Single People Meet

Sniffies (minority stake)[63][64]

Stir

The League

Tinder

Upward

Yuzu

[–] datavoid@sh.itjust.works 33 points 4 days ago

I tried Yuzu, but the only one who wanted to fuck me was Nintendo.

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[–] jtrek@startrek.website 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Break them up. Fine them for anti competitive practices. Bar their leadership from working similar roles for life. The solutions are easy.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The solutions are easy.

The concept of the solution is easy. The act of carrying it out is difficult because humans like taking bribes from rich people. And corporations. Oops, I forgot corporations are people in America.

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[–] Imhotep@feddit.fr 19 points 4 days ago (8 children)

It's one giant database with different filters for each website.

Other than privacy concerns, I dislike the consumption aspect. I see them swiping and it looks like they're shopping. I know some people have found meaningful relationships on Tinder, but I can't get over it.

I wonder if so many using it almost as the default way of dating makes it harder to find someone for those who want to avoid it.

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[–] kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Are there any that are more independent?

[–] siftmama@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Bumble is the only mainstream one I know for certain is independent.

[–] NGram@piefed.ca 25 points 4 days ago (3 children)

It's not technically independent since Badoo (owned by Bumble) is a very popular dating app too. Those two apps/companies have a weird history (Badoo's owner funded Bumble), but Bumble was also started by an ex-Tinder employee.

And looking at their Wikipedia entries, Bumble seems to be publicly traded with Blackstone owning a significant portion of the company. Bumble also bought Fruitz (another dating app) a few years ago.

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 12 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Fun fact about Bumble:

Initially, only women were able to start conversation after matching. This 'feature' was removed recently.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/04/a-lot-of-effort-to-get-one-date-bumble-app-makes-womens-first-move-easier

Lol. Lmao even.

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Probably with shared fake profiles, too.

[–] UPGRAYEDD@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (2 children)

And they have made the apps intentionaly worse, because a successful dating app deletes its users.

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[–] chunes@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

It's just a big game of Monopoly except they're allowed to trick us into thinking they haven't dominated the board yet. What a joke.

and the other one, eharmony, is owned by a religious zealot

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