this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 105 points 2 months ago (10 children)

Not seeing the issue here. Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually! A bunch of boys hanging out. Unknowing to the horrors that adulthood brings. Soon high school will end. Soon college will start. Some of your friends will drift away. Some you won't even notice until you realize one day it's been a while since you hung out with that one guy. The one you're not best friends with, but sometimes he'd be around. Except he hasn't been around for months, and you're just now noticing. Other friends you notice right away are gone. They get accepted into a college on the other side of the country. You claim you'll keep in touch, but lets be real. You're both going to be super busy with college. You'll drift away from one of your best friends over the next few years. It's neither of your faults really. That's just how life is. You spent your whole life with this guy since you were 5 years old, and now as you transition into adulthood you become strangers. Then one day you wake up, and realize you haven't seen any of those friends in 20 years. All you do is work six days a week, and run errands on the 7th so you have enough supplies to handle the upcoming week. Now even the burnt out face in the mirror looks like a stranger.

But at least they'll have the wholesome memories of being in a costco as teens and eating chicken together. Before it all fell apart.

[–] waterbird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this hurt to read. i hate how well it captures that feeling. why the hell is adulthood like this? we grind people into paste and don’t even realise how much we have lost of what they could have been. sigh.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 18 points 2 months ago

Stop whining and get back to generating shareholder value. You can block out your emotions with subscription services.

[–] Aqivex@fedinsfw.app 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Goddammit, fine. I will go to the next reunion, and I will bring chicken for the lads, for old time's sake.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And maybe some pot? Remember when we were kids, and smoking in the ally, and saying how weed will never be legal in our lifetimes? Welp. It's legal. In our lifetimes.

Hey, wanna play this disc of MP3s I burned onto a CD? It's got Oasis, and Sublime in there somewhere.

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[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

I should call him...

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[–] TomMasz@piefed.social 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Teen boys are eating machines. I remember when my kids were teens and a bunch of boys came to the house. It was like a plague of locusts. They pretty much emptied the fridge. I still fondly recall pulling out a pickle jar they had eaten all of the pickles out of, leaving just the brine.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 19 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Hey, the brine is delicious.

[–] kalpol@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 months ago

Best thing when dehydrated. Shot of pickle brine chased with a liter or two of water

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[–] horn_e4_beaver@discuss.tchncs.de 48 points 2 months ago

Well, eating one chicken does count as eating a whole food.

[–] lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 months ago

You can each have one rotisserie chicken, as a treat.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 2 months ago

When I was fifteen, I could totally eat an entire rotisserie chicken in a single sitting. I was also gaining height by inches at a time.

[–] kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago (10 children)

In high school my one friend had a big trench coat, and we would use it to sneak rotisserie chickens into the movie theater.

[–] zanyllama52@infosec.pub 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm down for some trenchcoat chicken

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[–] elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've worked at several theaters in my life, always amazed by what gets snuck into theaters, ive even seen big family buckets of KFC

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Were you one of the cool ones? One time I went in with my small backpack bursting with Taco Bell. The door guy asked to check my bag, took a peek, looked at me disappointingly, then shrugged and let me in anyway haha

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[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In my day it was onions. We wore them on our belts

...which was the style at the time.

[–] 666dollarfootlong@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Little fellas probably getting into gym culture

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[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago

Average 15 year old behavior.

[–] BeUnique@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 months ago (11 children)

Shit man one upon a time those chicken's were like $5 a pop. Cheapest and fastest way of getting a ton of protein in by far. Now not so much. The last time I bought one I think it was double that in price. This is why we can't have nice things. Companies gotta get greedy.

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

While I don't disagree on companies (having always been) getting greedy, getting a whole cooked chicken for 5 bucks is only possible through industrial factory farming of livestock with horrible animal cruelty. Try raising, slaughtering, plucking, gutting and cooking a chicken for that average price without basically creating a torture concentration camp for chicken.

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[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago

I bought one for $4.95 at Sam’s yesterday

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[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 months ago (9 children)

As a active teen and even into my 20s I could eat two medium all-dressed pizzas, I'd fold them in half to eat them faster, then go biking for a few hours, then shit out a Douglas fir that evening.

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 months ago

Yeah, when I was going through puberty, the family was going through a burlap sack of rice every month.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Damn... how much was that chicken in Whole Foods?

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

They are about $8 for roughly 2 lbs at about 1000 calories a lb if you eat the skin and all the meat.

That would be completely reasonable as a large meal as it is about half the daily calories for an average sized male teenager, especially if they are very active.

[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Am I misreading your comment, or are you saying an average male teen needs 4000 calories a day?

[–] NoPanko@feddit.uk 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If they are active then yeah, 4000 calories is not at all unusual as a teen.

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Damn, maybe that's why I didn't grow

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 11 points 2 months ago

This is unironically a big part of why people, on average, used to be shorter and why populations become taller as their country/region becomes wealthier.

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

Easily. From 14-17 I lived on a 5,000 calorie diet and struggled to gain weight, between marching band, PE, shop class, an avid skating hobby, a girlfriend, and growing in height. I could have easily eaten an entire chicken at the time.

Growing takes a lot of calories.

[–] Andonyx@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

If you're a bad enough dude, a whole rotisserie chicken is only one heart.

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[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

At the Whole Foods, cracking open a hot one with the boys.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (6 children)

You will never know the hunger of a 15 year old boy unless you were one

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

Being a teenage boy is hungry work.

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 months ago

Living like kings.

[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 8 points 2 months ago

Fake.

If this was real, they would also have had a loaf of bread each. Hard to miss 15 loaves of bread.

[–] Polisheocket@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago

Probably football players. It’s almost hell week

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

The one time in history a bunch of 15yr olds bag a bunch of chicks and it really happened.

[–] Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Is this a commentary on how much food a 15 year old can eat or on shrinkflation. :)

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

At that age I would have had one if those and asked for seconds.

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