Ask Lemmy

Death is generally an ugly business, and I am indifferent, alone or attended is ok. Just want you to know that finding a dead loved one is also traumatic, that happened to me. If people love you they will be sad when you die whether they are there for you or not. So if they want to help you at the end, I'd say let them.

I just hope to die with no dependents, painlessly and unexpec

Expect to die alone, absolutely. Do I hope to die alone, absolutely fucking not. My life has been one miserable tragedy after the other. This fate has not been my choice.

Do you expect, or even hope to die...

Yes! Definitely... Yes! Every damn day, yes!! And, no, I haven't been trying to force that for a long while and I doubt I would try again... but, oh, I never stopped longing for Mother's talons...

Do you expect, or even hope to die alone?

I'd hope for said loneliness because it allows for a better acceptance of Death Herself, but I don't expect that loneliness given I'm constantly surrounded by... well, people.

But, then, death is a unique, subjective experience. A person can die amidst the center of a busy metropolitan city during a Monday, a person can die inside a very populated subway, or inside a World Cup stadium: sure the person would be said to be far from alone in each of those hypothetical situations, yet none of the hundred/thousand/million other people are truly there, with the dying person.

People are too busy with their mundane affairs, trying to keep up with the imposed instinct of survival. These people, even the paramedics, can be trying to "save" the dying person, trying to reanimate them, but the minds of these people will be always somewhere else: "My employer wants me to solve that client's case", "My spouse wants me to sell the house", "My car insurance company wants me to upgrade my car's alarm system", "My daughter's teacher wants me to buy a new set of books for her", "the director of the hospital wants me to keep using this broken defibrillator and this expired IV epinephrine" ... Even when faced by Death Herself, we can't help ourselves but keep thinking of pesky mundane affairs. So, no, these people would be anything but present people.

We all die alone. That's a fact, that's the only certainty besides the certainty of the unavoidable meeting with Death Herself. And sincerely? It's way better dying truly alone, just me before the haunting mighty of Death Herself, instead of having biological avatars surrounding my dying avatar like wannabe-vultures waiting for a fresh carcass while I take my last breaths.

!asklemmy@lemmy.world

I'm going to answer what I suspect OPs question intends: do I expect to feel lonely and unloved when I die?

I hope not but that's not my biggest fear about death. A hard truth is that in order to die, something bad has to happen. My fervent hope is that, whatever that bad thing may be, I don't ever lose my mind, I don't suffer terribly, and no-one else is traumatised or injured by that bad thing.

Of course. That was it won't make anyone sad.

Wait, does everybody die together now?

I never understood the fear of dying alone really. Like if I die in my sleep on my couch while my wife is away, does that mean I’ve died alone? Doesn’t seem like such a horrible fate. I’d rather die alone than die in pain.

When that time comes; I expect to die because I'm alone. I do too many stupid things when no ones looking.

We're born alone, and we die alone. This is a truth.

Expect? Probably. Hope? Sure. Idc lol, let me die already. We all face death alone in the end anyway.

I'm terrified of it. I want my husband with me so badly. Women die last though. I have diabetes so I hope that's enough to take me out early :)

I won’t die alone, I’m going to jump off of a building downtown in a suit filled with candy when the time comes. King sized. The good stuff.

my dream is to die quietly in my sleep, but i have lots of unfulfilled dreams, like Trump has explosive diarrhoea during a live broadcast, Putin keels over at a military parade bleeding from every orifice and thay sets if a chain that auto releases photos of him, Farage and Orban giving each other HJs at a sauna... thay sort of thing

I used to think people were afraid of dying alone because it would be embarrassing for no one to bother to show up for your death, but then I figured that's probably not it because that would be really stupid. Now I'm not sure what's behind it. Personally I feel like it would be really embarrassing for people to find my corpse.

It really depends on the manner of my death. If it was gruesome and tragic? Alone please. My family doesn't need to see that.

Old and in my bed and knowing my death is coming? I want to be in my husband's arms, I want my son to know I didn't suffer.

Hope so. If that happens, it’ll mean my wife won’t have to. We only have each other and I wouldn’t want her to have to go through that.

i lost my first wife when i was 32. she was 41. i’m 47 now. i remarried. but she’s an alcoholic and i worry i’ll be holding her hand when she goes, too.

i will either die of a stress heart attack in my car otw home, hopefully not harming anyone, or i’ll die alone and old and having lost everyone.

I 100% expect to die alone.

I find a lot of these comments weird. They are talking about the moments - the weeks, months, and hours leading up to death. But death itself? Your vision goes dark. Your hearing stops. No sense of touch or smell or taste or balance. Just your sense of consciousness. The flame about to reach the base of the candle. There is no "if". You will be Alone. You must face your death alone. There is no other way.

I, personally, will try my best to be prepared.

I expect to die alone. Hopefully fast and painless without noticing.

I want to die in whatever magical way causes the least upset or disturbance to anyone I love.. if that means alone, then sure.. I am on my way out, my last moments don’t matter

Expect, yes. Hope? No.

I expect to die alone, but don't really care how it goes down. Life happens and then it doesn't. No big deal.

I'm not getting into Valhalla unless I die in battle.

As I'm the youngest and none of us have any kids, I'll probably be left alone. And that’s fine.

Ideally once I was old enough I'd say bye to everyone and head into a woods somewhere with whatever I needed for assisted dying. If I'm healthy enough, I'm willing to dig my own grave! Then a professional would come by to fill out the death certificate and plant a tree over me.

Nah, my wife will have to handle my loss, God willing. I've seen how grandmas and grandpas react to the passing of their better halves, women seem to handle it better. 🤷‍♂️

I suspect except if we go in our sleep, we all die alone. I watched my grandma drown in her own lungs for hours as her family all stood around telling her she'd done a good job and she could let go.

I don't know if it gave her any comfort in the end, but to me it felt like everyone telling her to hurry up and die. Then everyone went home and she died in the middle of the night. Maybe my uncle was there.

I have seen many people when they are sick at close to death but not at the exact time of death. Im pretty sure most people I know who have died where alone or just hospital staff at the exact moment of death. So I guess I expect to die alone in that regard but there will likely be loved ones still alive when I die. I sorta want to go out anonymously. humanity has left such an ugly mark on this earth I don't mind not being part of its history.

I was just a kid when I read the Kurt Vonnegut story with the Ethical Suicide parlors.

You go in and a beautiful woman sits with you as you slowly pass.

I'm still young, but I think there is a non-zero and significant chance of me dying alone. Even the thought of it scares me. Also, I think it is a terrible thing for a child (no matter how old) to go through. Man, I'm never having kids, lol!

I expect to die alone in my shoebox apartment with my VR suit on surrounded by my AI companions. I'd prefer it to be in a hospital with my family but the future is not looking bright.

My soul is too quixotic, everyone else in the world would have to collectively decide that I should die alone before I gave up on myself. I'm definitely getting uglier but people were somehow dating me before so that probably isn't likely to change.

What could possibly change is by the time I die will I still think being alone is the affliction I've believed it to be?

Yes and yes. I'd prefer to disappear completely... including leaving less junk/mess to sort, though neither of those are happening. The best I can do is not buy things.

I can see the don't-leave-me vs don't-perceive-me aspect of death, though I think a lot of people using the phrase 'die alone' aren't being quite that literal. Though I don't have a better outlook with non-literal either. Hopeless.