this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
290 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

21966 readers
1465 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] tristynalxander@mander.xyz 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

How about we investigate the farmers who are forcing their workers to shit in a hole at the side of the field then selling crops contaminated with said shit?

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Every thread about taco bell has people making jokes about it causing diarrhea and others pointing out that it doesn't unless your diet is already awful. What these threads never seem to have is anyone saying that taco bell gives them diarrhea.

So does anyone actually know anyone that gets sick from normal taco bell? Or is everyone just parroting a factoid

[–] gatohaus@eviltoast.org 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I don't get the taco bell jokes either. Never had an issue from eating there.

Burger king on the other hand...

[–] Goforce5@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I swear the people who have "stomach issues" from Taco Bell just aren't used to eating any fiber.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Burger King's success baffles me. That place is so gross

[–] impairedimperator@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Of the four times I've gotten food poisoning in my life, once was from a taco bell. In college. At 2am, January 1st. Honestly you'd have gotten food poisoning anywhere open two hours after New Years.

[–] CptOblivius@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I always wondered if it is more about the employees/hygiene at Taco Bell and less about the actual food.

Taco bell doesn't usually cause diarrhea for me. I don't understand these jokes.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've not had digestive issues from taco bell, but that ancedote is only worth what you paid for it.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yet people rush to bring it up every time

[–] Varpeggio@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

Runaway memetic phenomenon

[–] StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It does for me, but I have IBS. Anyone I've met who had Taco Bell issues similarly had digestive issues. We tend to run in packs and decimate public toilets.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like the IBS is what's giving you diarrhea lol

[–] StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

¿Porque no los dos?

[–] ulkesh@piefed.social 31 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Of course I would see this article posted after I just ate Taco Bell. FAFO, I suppose :D

[–] return2ozma@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ulkesh@piefed.social 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Thanks! I think I'm going to need it :D

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

We're in this together, curse you soft tacos!!!!!

Same. I hadn't had Taco Bell in years and had a craving last week. Immediately after eating my meal I had to drop the kids off at the pool while searching why Taco Bell does that specifically to us so immediately. I think I'm in the clear though, just the normal Taco Bell reaction.

[–] blitzen@lemmy.ca 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I thought for Taco Bell, diarrhea was a feature not a bug.

[–] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Only if you don't get enough fiber. People have issues only because their menu items are mostly beans, aka high fiber

[–] PanGodofPanic@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Between that and the way they use dairy cow beef that would otherwise go to waste I just keep hearing good things about this place

until the parasites at least

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The president of YUM foods is (was?) a Trump supporter. I’ve boycotted Taco Bell since like 2017 or 18 when I learned of this. Also fuck Pizza Hut and KFC too

Almost every major corporate American CEO has shown super for Trump and the fascists more broadly at some point, trying to boycott every company run by them is both too expensive and unreasonably difficult for me and most people, so that doesn't mean much to me. Boycotting means very little in this case compared to using the government to force changes across all industry everywhere. My main issue with Taco Bell and other YUM brands is their extraordinary-even-for-their-industry exploitation of workers, but again, that's nearly universal across fast food (though I do mostly boycott that industry entirely).

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

While some infected individuals reported eating at Taco Bell, others had not, an indication that the outbreak is not confined to the chain.

It's just pre-prepped produce.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh, big surprise.

Crisis over, just normal reactions to eating Taco Bell. Nothing to see here. Seriously, don't look.

[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 35 points 2 days ago (19 children)

It's not Taco Bell, it's prewashed pre bagged lettuce that's suspected to be the culprit.

Also if eating Taco Bell is usually causing you diarrhea you have some underlying health issue going on.

[–] HeyMrDeadMan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Let me sing for you, the IBS anthem...

load more comments (18 replies)
[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Brings back memories of a bathroom stall that had graffiti that said "flush twice, it's a long way up to Taco Bell." There was indeed a Taco Bell upstairs.

[–] obvs@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

So you're telling me that those jokes about Taco Bell suddenly became true?

[–] MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@fedia.io 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 3 points 2 days ago

The best jokes are based on reality.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

Why? Taco Bell has already been giving people explosive diarrhea for decades.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They should be investigated! How the fuck did normal Taco Bell break containment and get into grocery store produce????

[–] pingveno@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Does it need the SCP treatment, like SCP-2789?

[–] notsosure@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Throw the book at them! I got a case so bad I nearly broke my skull and the bog cracked.

[–] Hegar@fedia.io 4 points 2 days ago

When i worked at the mall we didn't have staff bathrooms so we'd often have to listen to someone in a nearby stall ringing the taco bells.

load more comments
view more: next ›