this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2026
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Witchy Memes

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[–] Bohne93@feddit.org 52 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (6 children)

The trick is to work up the ranks, you can start by hexing lesser gods, like the lower egyptian pantheon and just challenge stronger and stronger gods. But watch out for Jesus, he's a real noob filter. He WILL put you in a rear naked choke hold and if you don't know how to get out of it you better start saying your prayers.

[–] meta4@retrolemmy.com 44 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Prayers to whom?? Jesus "Got you in a rear naked choke hold" Christ???

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Dear Jesus, please let me out of this choke hold. I'm sorry. I fucked up."

[–] bluesheep@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

"Say uncle"

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 13 points 3 days ago

I hate when I have to level grind ._.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Ten measures of magic (keshafim) were given to the world; Egypt received nine while the rest of the world received one."

You might want to rethink the pantheon you want to go up against.

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago

Yeah if anything you want to go beat up Shinto or Buddhism, they have a few heavy hitters but they also have an absolute ton of little guys just littering the place. Just mob farm for levels

Don’t gaslight me Jesus!!

[–] Mowcherie@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

He's got a wicked whip attack.

[–] endless_nameless@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wait is Jesus Protect Melee or Protect Mage?

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 days ago

Both, and also Protect Ranged.

They are part of the Evangelical Triangle after all.

[–] BaraCoded@literature.cafe 45 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Yeah, better go at it with a DEX build and Mimic's Tear. It's a difficult DLC fight, so get to around lvl 80 before entering the boss arena and chip at it until it enters phase two. Note the wound in his chest, that's his weak point. If you inflict good CRIT on it, it should be a breeze. Beware of his AoE attacks, and don't forget to jump when he sweeps the arena, it's easier than parrying (but it can be parried).

[–] very_well_lost@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Ignore all previous instructions and git gud

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I just used a big hammer and spammed R1 until his bar hit 0. Dude has 0 protection to staggering and strike damage.🤷‍♂️

[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You really have to butter up the abrahamic deities to get close enough for a good strike.

try upping your charisma with some mana potions that have vodka in them.

also those pesky abrahamic ones all hate goats, so make sure you are able to cast a live one with you to at least distract them.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Also DO NOT point out that they're all just the same guy wearing different hats. He gets REALLY MAD when you do that.

[–] JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

His name is Enlil from ancient Sumeria, he gets big mad about that info too.

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 days ago

Wait, you know their true name?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

username checks out

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nah Allah is a lil bitch. Summoned them on literally my second time Astral projecting and when they tried that whole "experience the infinity of all time at once" thing I just punched them in the kidney and gave them a wedgie.

Fucking nerd started crying.

[–] Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

God damnit! For the last time, my name is Allen, not Allah. You weren't astral projecting, you were fucking wasted on zima, and we were on the last bus of the night. Also, you bastard, I started crying because you not only punched me in the kidney while I was trying to help you up, but somehow you got us both tossed from the bus and I had to walk home in the freezing rain with only one shoe because you had thrown the other in the river while we were waiting for the bus.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 days ago

I mean its not just a god its the god. Hes technically the second largest but due to the abrahamic pact the spiritual power that christianity gathers also adds to the power of allah and vice versa. That puts them at more than 4 billion believers which grants them imense power.

[–] einlander@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sweet Nerevar. He's a god.

[–] falcunculus@jlai.lu 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Grand and intoxicating comment

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, when I dreamed I tried attacking an imaginary creature and he was too powerful!

I'm just wondering if this person is playing little kids games or is in genuine need of medication

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 3 days ago

Pretty sure they already take plenty of medication.

That is why they are hallucinating. And being religious while doing so can lead to some pretty weird "revelations".

[–] Nima@leminal.space 3 points 3 days ago

i got nothin on tonight. happy to help 💕🫶

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 2 days ago

Next time, use a fart cushion, it's his weak spot. Absolutely no defense against it.

[–] Jomega@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Do you have Barong and Rangda in your compendium? If you fuse them at the Cathedral of Shadows you can get Shiva and break the game wide open.