this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
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The Shitpost Office

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[–] qualia@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I want to expedite my progression to the agricultural revolution so gonna pull the trigger on the:

• saw: animal pens, plow, later shelter

• tarp: early shelter, water purifier top + inner container, waterproofing

• pot: boil saltwater, cooking food (avoids disease, improves digestion)

• knife: hunting, defense, incorporate into larger traps

Notes: fire can be made with dry wood, rope can be made from twisting local fibers, hiking boots will last maximum a few years (not a long-term solution), iPod's battery lasts a few days, first-aid kit is a good runner-up especially depending on local flora/fauna, two blades (saw and knife) might sound redundant but it fast-forwards our tools into the metal ages which will help us develop agriculture way faster, fishing can be accomplished with nets made from local fibers and chum from leftover animal carcasses, a flare is practically invisible to commercial aircraft and finite, better to place several massive HELP signs on the beaches using stones or any pigment, raft and compass: you'll capsize on the waves if the island is far enough to be deserted, suncreen is too finite: just have melanin or stick to shaded regions during high sun, mirror: there are more efficient ways to start a fire.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

5 ounces of weed, 5 ounces of weed, 5 ounces of weed, iPod.

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Fool. One day you'll be asking yourself why didn't you just get 5 more ounces of weed.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tent, rope, saw, OP’s mom.

[–] A404@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What do you need my mom for 😭

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

Better than a volleyball.

[–] YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Someone has to do the cooking.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 9 points 1 month ago

4 ipods. Eventually someone will come to steal them and I'll be able to just follow them back to civilization.

[–] AbsolutelyNotSpez@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Tarp, knife, rope and

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

15 ounces of weed and matches

[–] inlandempire@jlai.lu 6 points 1 month ago

first aid, hammock, knife, hiking boots

[–] GCanuck@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Knife for sure. Everything else is luxury.

First aid kit as it’ll be needed eventually.

Water filter. Having the shits can kill you.

Tarp. Excellent cover and rain collector.

[–] hoch@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Raft, flare gun, water purifier, tarp.

I'm gettin off this bish. No smoke monster eating me today

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 5 points 1 month ago

Tent hammock knife fishing rod. That covers food and shelter, I can get water in a few ways, and with the knife I can make a bow drill for fire.

[–] omgboom@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

20 ounces of weed

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Epp@lemmus.org 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Joke's on you! No bullets.

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Damn, now I'll have to wander until I die of heatstroke

[–] A404@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

what about water? and how are you gonna butcher your game?

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The rifle is all I need to escape the desert.

[–] ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

Walked right into that.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Can I get four weeds please?

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

hiking boots, tent, knife, first aid kit

(or flare instead of first aid; depends on how remote i am. if there should be shipping routes somewhat nearby, it may be a flare.)

[–] PiraHxCx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

flare would depend if I want to leave (I don't)

20 ounces will do

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

Im choosing the tarp, first aid kit, pot and knife

[–] Soapbox@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Knife, Pot, Tent, and Fishing Rod (assuming is comes with line and hooks/tackle.)

Tarp is probably more versatile than the tent. But if the insects are bad, having the reprieve of an enclosed shelter is appealing. Edit: The more I think about it, the tent is far more versatile than the tarp. As it can still be used as a tarp to collect water. It also likely comes with cordage and stakes. So its kind-of a no-brainer.

[–] Epp@lemmus.org 2 points 1 month ago

Tent, sunscreen, saw and pot. The sun is always trying to kill me! I won't let it succeed when it has me cornered on an island with no backup.

[–] therealdries@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

No satphone option?