this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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okmatewanker

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No foul language - i.e. French ๐Ÿคฎ

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

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[โ€“] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 21 minutes ago

This is a sort of energy we need to be bringing to the US World cup. Give the cops something to really worry about.

[โ€“] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

This is literally the most polarised comment section I've seen. Both sides of the argument for and against the killing are getting downvotes out the wazoo

[โ€“] Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

There: ๐Ÿซด๐Ÿ”ช

Pick your side.

[โ€“] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I am for smacking the seagulls. One smack is enough. Beating it to death or slamming into a wall is overkill.

[โ€“] jerkface@lemmy.ca 4 points 52 minutes ago* (last edited 47 minutes ago) (1 children)

It's still senseless, while being willfully cruel and violent; it's just a smaller magnitude in the same wrong direction.

[โ€“] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 1 points 49 minutes ago

I don't think so. It's my food and if a seagull comes in to steal it it's getting smacked away. It is the way of life. You think a different animal would let a seagull steal its food? I doubt it. And my benevolence only stretches so far.

[โ€“] LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

To be fair you could probably one punch a seagull and one punch seems completely reasonable for something stealing your pastry.

[โ€“] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world -4 points 10 hours ago

Animal cruelty is a sign of psychopathy. You're probably kidding, but the idea triggers me a little

[โ€“] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Isn't this like an early sign of early psychopaths? To kill animals without remorse.

[โ€“] HasturInYellow@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

No, they go looking for them.

[โ€“] Godric@lemmy.world 53 points 19 hours ago
[โ€“] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 34 points 20 hours ago

I don't agree, but I understand

[โ€“] i_ben_fine@midwest.social 15 points 19 hours ago (3 children)
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[โ€“] 4am@lemmy.zip 26 points 1 day ago

Shoudinta pinched me chip

[โ€“] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 12 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

You can't do that? I thought it was pretty badass, actually.

I'm an animal lover, but seagulls are a different story. They're the MAGAs of the bird world, and it's okay to smack one around if you catch one stealing from you.

[โ€“] jerkface@lemmy.ca 2 points 50 minutes ago

Iโ€™m an animal lover

written with the flesh of vulnerable individuals still rotting between your teeth

[โ€“] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago

So you're not really an animal lover

[โ€“] certified_expert@lemmy.world 23 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

They're the MAGAs of the bird world

lol

[โ€“] Janx@piefed.social 1 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I grew up around the great salt lake where there are hordes of these mother fuckers, if you donโ€™t despise them as the devil spawn that they are then youโ€™ve never had to deal with them. I love animals, but I would support a seagull specific genocide.

[โ€“] LePoisson@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago (7 children)

Nah they're protected species in the UK. Idk what the law looks like elsewhere. It does seem a little cruel to punch the bird and it not die and then leave it to go wander off and die from its internal injuries. I'd have more respect it dude just broke its neck and have it a quick death.

Kind of reminds me of Canadian geese in the USA, I wish I could kill those bastards but they're protected. I don't know if it's possible to get a license to kill them or not, depends on how they're protected and the legislation around it - I'm too lazy to bother with any of that and don't hunt so wouldn't go through the hoops anyways. Those things are a menace and mean as hell a lot of times but you just live with it.

I'm curious now though if the USA has protections for seagulls or not.

[โ€“] iocase@lemmy.zip 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

You can hunt Canadian geese in Canada ironically. They're apparently not bad eating and the bag limit is 2-4 depending on which province.

[โ€“] jerkface@lemmy.ca 1 points 50 minutes ago

yes but you can only hunt them ironically.

[โ€“] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago (4 children)

Yes, all types of gulls are protected by US federal law.

[โ€“] GarboDog@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Seagulls and most other gull birds are not protected under federal law, however disrupting/modifying wildlife of any kind (including seagulls) without a permit is illegal. However on a state level some do protect many gulls including seagulls while also controlling their population to reduce nuisance.

Then you have places like Florida, where seagulls are not even protected under the local animal cruelty act. You could torture them for being the scavenger animals they are and not get into any trouble at all. Itโ€™s really sickening.

[โ€“] blargh513@sh.itjust.works 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

What? Why? There are literal flock of seagulls. We ain't gonna run out of em.

[โ€“] iocase@lemmy.zip 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Exactly! Are fucking rats protected under federal law now too?

[โ€“] iamericandre@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

See the slush fund and current administration

[โ€“] CarstenBoll@feddit.dk 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

In Denmark they're everywhere in the cities too, only thing more frequent then these shitbirds is rats.

[โ€“] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

In seattle seagulls are rain forcasters. When you hear their cries, rain is usually on the way within an hour or two.

[โ€“] LePoisson@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

Well there goes my dreams of building the ultimate gull crushing machine :(

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[โ€“] spacegoat@lemmy.world -1 points 10 hours ago

If weโ€™re talking Michigan pasties, then not only is it justified itโ€™s moral

[โ€“] Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[โ€“] Malyca@lemmy.zip 5 points 18 hours ago

Sometimes I think guys just aren't aware that you can't just kill things for stealing your chip

[โ€“] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 19 hours ago (5 children)

Weird day on Lemmy when animal murder is being celebrated.

Killing animals (without eating them) is serial killer shit.

[โ€“] harmbugler@piefed.social 1 points 8 hours ago

I always did think hippos had a serial killer quality

You havenโ€™t had to deal with seagulls and it shows.

[โ€“] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 12 hours ago

How do you know he didnโ€™t eat it?

[โ€“] Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 18 hours ago

Eh, factory farming is messed up too even if you eat the bodies.

[โ€“] pilferjinx@piefed.social 4 points 17 hours ago

If any animal fucks around, they have to expect to find out. Feels like a golden rule situation.

[โ€“] yakko@feddit.uk 2 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

They are a protected species, you know

[โ€“] iocase@lemmy.zip 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sure some of them are but they're an entire subfamily with dozens of genus and hundreds of species. Considering some are seemingly more common than rats, the chance he plucked an endangered one out of the air and punched it is really low.

[โ€“] yakko@feddit.uk 1 points 5 hours ago

Good guess, but wide of the mark. While few species are on the red list, literally all wild birds in the UK are protected under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981.

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[โ€“] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[โ€“] P1k1e@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago

Rats ain't nearly as loud about being a pest

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