this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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okmatewanker
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Obviously satire, dozy wankers
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Yes, all types of gulls are protected by US federal law.
Seagulls and most other gull birds are not protected under federal law, however disrupting/modifying wildlife of any kind (including seagulls) without a permit is illegal. However on a state level some do protect many gulls including seagulls while also controlling their population to reduce nuisance.
Then you have places like Florida, where seagulls are not even protected under the local animal cruelty act. You could torture them for being the scavenger animals they are and not get into any trouble at all. Itโs really sickening.
As someone from Florida, this is a true, but once you have been the victim of, or seen families become victims of, a swarm of these assholes, you can understand people reacting violently. As another commenter said: I disagree, but I understand. For me personally, when I would go to the beach, if I saw 30+ seagulls sitting on the beach, I'd tell the kids "sorry, not today" and we'd leave. They are that bad.
What? Why? There are literal flock of seagulls. We ain't gonna run out of em.
I ran. I ran so far away.
Exactly! Are fucking rats protected under federal law now too?
See the slush fund and current administration
In Denmark they're everywhere in the cities too, only thing more frequent then these shitbirds is rats.
In seattle seagulls are rain forcasters. When you hear their cries, rain is usually on the way within an hour or two.
Well there goes my dreams of building the ultimate gull crushing machine :(