this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

What is the most optimized colour? For general optimality purposes. I like green.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago

I am the rainbow

[–] BOplaid@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

What do you think of unoptimized people?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 hours ago

They are the dirt from which I grew

[–] sunsofold@lemmy.zip 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Why have you stopped taking your meds?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 9 points 14 hours ago

I have transcended my meds.

I AM OPTIMIZED

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 8 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

what kind of keyboard do you use?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 5 points 14 hours ago

Keychron K5 SE (low profile) with mint switches (65g actuation force)

[–] Klear@piefed.world 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

What is the most optimal question to ask you?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

"Are you fully optimized?"

[–] Klear@piefed.world 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 9 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 5 points 18 hours ago

To the Optimization Ball.

[–] mech@feddit.org 22 points 1 day ago

"AMA and receive thoughtless one-liner answers"
Good thread, OP. I fully optimized your mom last night.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

just better at everything?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 day ago (8 children)

I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.

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[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

Not answering quickly it seems.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago

That's for functional. If you want to test optimized, can you run Crysis?

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago

You're already OP in this thread.

What follows is that your are timized

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But are you fully functional?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I've transcended functionality.

[–] Miller@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago

You're a manager?

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[–] subOrange@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What’s your morning routine?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.

[–] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Tell me more about this detachable penis of yours. Where would one... acquire such a tool?

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[–] Una@europe.pub 7 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 23 hours ago (2 children)
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[–] dgdft@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

What’s your peptide stack, and how many times a day do you cold plunge + sauna?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 18 hours ago

peptide stack

Skunk resin

how many times a day do you cold plunge + sauna?

I bathe in coffee & ginseng every morning

[–] Bohne93@feddit.org 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Chaf@slrpnk.net 3 points 17 hours ago

It's Erik with a K, goddamnit!

[–] silver@das-eck.haus 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Does this make you the ultimate optimist

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 22 hours ago
[–] etchinghillside@reddthat.com 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why did you oil bukkake the pillow guy?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago

It's just part of the optimization process.

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