That's basically the point.
The men are saying "She's out of my league".
The women, 10+ years later, realize that they could have done a lot better -- she was out of his league.
this post was submitted on 26 May 2026
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Mine was late 20's with folks +/-2 years; I got a lot of folks wanting a father figure, or wanting a provider. The level of possessive crazy was also just off the chart.
Different strokes for different folks.
As someone who teaches 18/19 year olds (and overhears snatches of their lives), trust me, they're dumber than you remember being. It's not worth it; their priorities and yours DO NOT align.
I'm embarrassed about who my wife dated when she was 19. She tells these stories and all I can think is why didn't you dump me?
"Dont you get it? I love you because youre not that [context - rich/handsome/strong/popular/whatever] kind of guy"
Best not to pull at that thread. Only misery and confusion is at the end
I think it's pretty simple. Just because there are better people than you around, it doesn't mean she's able to pull them
I think for most men it is also the lowest of our dating standards. Everyone was just so dumb.
I think you've missed that's she's referring to men in their 30s dating 19 year olds
Maybe what OP meant was 19 was the loest of the man's dating standards, reguardless of the man's age.
I have seen an 18 old say he dated a 40 year old woman and apparently, he had a good time
Bro was 18, he would have a good time with a blender mate.
That's because 40 yo women are fucking awesome
No shit. But it was weird that she was dating someone that young.
Yeah its really young, but women can be underage sex pests too. I was just commenting on your friend having a good time, not that the age diff is appropriate
It was her biggest mistake not mine!
/j
As a woman person I can confirm my worst choices were when I was still young and developing. I wasn’t 19, but 20.
My choices didn't get much better, but thats why I eventually stopped dating entirely. I’m a shit judge of mates, and choose the worst for me (yay trauma!!) so I just don't anymore, it’s so much easier. I’m tired of trying to grow and being brought back down by shitty men. Much rather bring myself down.
However of all the bad, that age brought me the worst. He turned out to be a convicted felon rapist (not of me. happened after he stalked me for 2 years which was itself after he moved 1300 miles to be close to me when I left him and moved home), which I discovered through court access years later. I dodged that bullet, for sure. I mean it grazed me, but didn’t hit. Sorry to the lady behind me. :(
Yup, shortly before I hit 20 I got into a spectacularly bad idea of a relationship with a 37 year old woman.
I'm 40, I couldn't fathom the effort required to date anyone under the age of 25
The energy required is more a reflection of their extrovertedness, not young age
I'm in my mid 40s and my hard limit is 30. I'm thinking of raising that to 35 after a few bad relationships.
As a 33 year old, I went on a date with a 22 year old and yeah I just couldn't. I felt like I was babysitting. I can date a guy 20 years older but no one younger than me
I know these are just general limits nothing concrete but I just imagined ya rejecting a guy cuz he was born one picosecond after you.
Soo you need more energy to party and keep up with them BUT the key is finding a young one that doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like. That way you save on having to put effort into the relationship and support them and all that other stuff you need to do with a mature partner
Soo you need more energy to party
Wait, I was supposed to do that?
My advice to a friend was “If he’s so mature, why aren’t all the mature women lining up to date him?”
At 19, I don’t think the advice stuck
Yeah, this argument fails to address how men get to experience relationships. One man could be your perfect partner but he simply doesn't put himself in positions to meet/date new people.
I know its easy to assume men get propositioned the same way women do but that's simply not true.
I’m a man.
I have had limited relationships in my life.
I still don’t think that older men acting predatory to young women who don’t have the same life experience as them is cool or valid.
This has little to do with the scarce dating scene for incels, and more to do with men who focus on young women because women their age know they are skeezy.
Ah, my B. Yeah, had an ex of mine date a 17 yo and it made me sick on the stomach.
Women only line up for rock stars mate
And baristas.
asked my wife about this, she told me to fuck off and that it she still can't talk to her mother about that.
Which is weird because I was the person she dated when she was 19
Same
Considering the kinds of men who tend to seek out much younger women, it's less "funny" and more "very concerning".
I dated my wife when she was 19 and so was I. As I was a dick then, this all tracks.
(I'm also a dick now, but I was a dick then too #mitchHedberg)
Can confirm, I was awkward and embarrassing as a 19-yr old. I'm sorry to all my ex-girlfriends back then.
Granted, most of them dated me because I had a "bad boy" look and they were disappointed when they found out I was actually a quiet, introverted nerd. I was almost always the dumpee in my relationships.
I'm sorry those girls couldn't appreciate your kind, quiet personality beyond your looks. Hope you find someone who feels lucky to have a "bad boy" with a sensitive soul.
I eventually found my soulmate later in life, who is also an introverted nerd. She also pursued me for my looks initially, but stayed because we were intellectual twins.
If there's any advice I can give for relationships, it's to look for someone you can be best friends with. If you're in a relationship just for looks, understand that looks fade.
I'm in my 40s now and gaining weight due to disabilities that prevent me from exercising. Plus I'm starting to bald and growing thick hair literally everywhere else. I'm no longer the "ruggedly handsome young man" I used to be as a teenager. My wife still loves me and cherishes time with me, because we're best friends, not shallow lovers.
A lot of younger people seem to idealize their partners. At 19 I was set on a pedestal by my then-boyfriend, like I was supposed to be some manic pixie dream girl free of any and all flaws. So when I started showing signs of being an actual human instead of the perfect doll he was imagining, he turned from love to resentment quick enough to make my head spin.
At 19, there's a much higher percentage of people who just don't know what a real, healthy relationship looks like and can only go by whatever examples they have in their lives and whatever their favored media is selling to them. Aside from the exhaustion, I can't imagine dating anyone under 25 because I can't believe that they would be dating me as a person. It seems like standard procedure that everyone has to go around and collect some relationship 'war stories' before they're ready to settle down and date for real.
Dated a 34 year old dude when I was 19 because I was rebounding hard and he could buy me booze. He was about as mature as I was at the time.
Why is maturity important again?
Most of the time "immature" is just a vague insult when someone doesn't conform to the speaker's norms.
Immaturity leads to poor decisions, disregard for consent, short-sightedness etc
Would liking Pokemon, believing anime is real life, and having a cringe sense of humor count as immaturity? Asking for a friend.
To a degree, yes, but that's not the problematic kind of immaturity. One can be immature in some things like believing in monsters under the bed (things that don't matter) while being mature about fire while camping or alcohol and driving (things that matter).
Not necessarily, you can have all that and still act with maturity
lmao plenty of idiots maturely making stupid decisions
So guys like Jerry Seinfeld
Now I feel better about the guy she left me for just as she was turning 19.
I feel attacked, the mother of my children was 19 when we met.
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