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I’m becoming a grandpa at 43. Mildly infuriating, 'cause there are way worse things in life.
My grandma was 40 when I was born lol
I feel like this isn't a "mildly infuriating" moment
Their daughter is 16, the boyfriend 18.
Edit: it clicked after I posted. You mean it's more than "mildly". Agreed.
Brain no work today.
Or just not infuriating at all. Depends on your life situation, age, wealth, location, etc.
But yeah if you are too young its not a great turn of events usually.
Ah man. That sucks. Your daughter, like most teenagers, doesn't have a fucking clue what she's signed up for or that she is placing a major burden on her parents. Unfortunately for her, she's about to enter the "find out" stage.
It's bad. But it doesn't have to stay bad. My wife comes from a generational line of teenage pregnances. Hell, she was your daughters age when she got pregnant. She told the sperm donor to fuck off when it was clear that he was more interested in drugs and petty crime than being a parent.
If you ask my wife today if she regrets becoming a teen mom, she will say, "No. Because it forced me to take responsibility for my kids life, and by extension my life. Something I wasn't willing to do when it was just me."
She got her shit together. I hope the same for your daughter. The current situation sucks ass. But there's still a lot of potential for a good outcome. Your kid is lucky to have a family that cares about her enough to support her and hold her accountable.
Sucks that we live in a society (at least here in the US) that doesn't do more for teen mothers, all because of the "sin" of wanting to have an orgasm. (and they just ignore that sexual release is a biological imperative.)
Best of luck.
Hey my country has been loudly and proudly proclaiming that teen pregnancies are too low so maybe that will change here lmfaooooo
I mean it wouldn't be as big of a deal if motherhood was supported properly. If a 19 y/o mother could take 6-8 months or even a year out of college then pick their program back up right where they left off, have plenty of childcare covered by either the state or by family who are doing well enough themselves, and plenty of healthcare for her and the kid, it wouldn't be a big deal at all. Especially if it were normalized for men to also get and take paternity leave so academics and employers had less reason to discriminate.
Realistically the very tail end of adolescence is the beginning of the sweet spot of when the body is mature enough to handle that we just don't adequately socially support women at that point (or any other point but). The emotional maturity thing is meant to be supported by older community members. You're supposed to be able to hand your little brat to a 40y/o who actually has patience to manage them safely when they won't stop throwing tantrums and we'd have those people if they weren't also working 80h weeks.
If they really want women having children younger that's 100% doable with adequate social support for mothers of all ages but they just wanna squeeze every last drop of "productivity" out of every part of this system then get pissy when women get stingy. Like statistics actually support that women make more babies when they feel safe to do so it's literally that fucking simple but nooo
They aren't talking about 19 year olds lmao, Republicans and Fox News types have been openly calling for high schoolers to get pregnant. But yes I agree with you, no matter what we should be supporting all of our mothers better in this country.
How was the birth control talks like? Was there any discussion about getting an iud?
This could be fantastic for you, you'll be fit enough to play football with the grandkids when they're inevitably dumped on you for babysitting
Dumped is maybe not the right phrasing. Throughout history extended family and friends have helped raising children.
There is a difference between a planned child with a support system behind them helping and an unplanned teen pregnancy where the mother and father are unfit to take care of a human child and the grandparents have to take on a parent role almost full time while the teens finish school (as an example).
Some people have no concept of extended family helping to raise children
I'm in a position to say felicitations. You got to have a partner, an offspring, will get to do grandpa things before you are too old and wizened to really enjoy them. Life is short but its road is better shared with loved ones.
Keep writing the narrative in your head-and-heart-bit like it is the beginning of a great adventure.
Grats.
I have four children, and all of them are adults. I don't think I will ever be a grandpa. I hope you will take your grandpa duties seriously and think about exactly what you want to be, and who you want to be.
Hah.
I almost became one at 28 (stepdaughter who I raised), then she had twins right after I turned 31. Great grandparent at 54.
The deed happened when my wife and I were on our honeymoon. I like to tell my adult granddaughter that she lived for a while in the room she was conceived in. As an adult.
Dang, and here I am in my early 40's with a 4 year old. I wish you luck, from the comments here you definitely don't sound very excited and rightfully so. Kids don't realize what they will lose when they have a kid that young. The best years of my life were my early 20's mostly due to the freedom to do whatever I wanted without the burden of the world coming down on me yet.
I guess the best part is that you are definitely young enough to see your grandkid grow up as well and be able to spend quality time with everyone. My parents had me at 21 and their parents had them in their early 20's as well so I am one of the few people I know that still has grandparents at my age. Even my wifes grandparents are gone and so are her parents and gives me some perspective on why its about the only good reason to have a kid younger rather than later.