this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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The Purge (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shderz@sh.itjust.works to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world
 
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 208 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's sort of a version of an old Soviet joke...

A Soviet man is waiting in line to purchase vodka from a liquor store, but due to restrictions imposed by Gorbachev, the line is very long. The man loses his composure and screams, "I can't take this waiting in line anymore, I HATE Gorbachev, I am going to the Kremlin right now, and I am going to kill him!" After 40 minutes the man returns and elbows his way back to his place in line. The crowd begin to ask if he has succeeded in killing Gorbachev. "No, I got to the Kremlin all right, but the line to kill Gorbachev was even longer than here!"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_political_jokes#Gorbachev

(I heard a different version with Khrushchev, but I'm sure it was told a lot.)

[–] ChilledPeppers@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wasn't Gorbachev the chillest of all Russian rulers? For some reason that is his image in my head.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wasn’t Gorbachev the chillest of all Russian rulers?

He was the most friendliest, from a Western point of view.
But he was also the last, meaning that he presided over the time when the Soviet Union was collapsing.

[–] masquenox@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

He was the most friendliest, from a Western point of view.

Yeah, but not the most obedient. That's why the west preferred Yeltsin - and his faithful number two, Putin.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would guess Yeltsin for most chill. But either way I’m thinking by gorbachev’s time bread lines were still pretty bad.

[–] wieson@feddit.org 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well Yeltsin had tanks shoot at the parliament building

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

yeah but he was breezy about it

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 114 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

In a world where The Purge exists, you think Elon wouldn't have automated security guns and maybe even actual robot terminators? Have you seen those movies? The rich fuckers are always the ones who come out on top, except the one time a poor person fucked up one of their murder orgies after almost being murdered.

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 56 points 1 year ago (3 children)

’cept Elon would cheap out any chance he could – his recent tech show proved he couldn’t handle anything more complex than animatronics puppeted by underpaid interns

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Elon is also a ketamine junkie sex pervert. You get a hot girl in suit to knock on his door and decapitate him.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 15 points 1 year ago

It'd work on me

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Did that have to do with his comfort and safety, or just some hobby he uses to trick people into giving him money?

These people use their power and influence to stave off time and death as their prime motivator, just look at his hairline for the best evidence.

[–] levzzz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

He could maybe cause the bite of '87...

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago

Yeah but he'd get cocky and take his cyber truck out. Then we'd throw rocks at it and break his "unbreakable" windows. It'd be real easy to get him, and the one who does is going to be the king of the purge. We'll leave them alone out of respect.

[–] generic_computers@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Except this is Elon we're taking about, the guns would jam and the robots would trip and fall and break.

[–] Karjalan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

The guns would probably kill him... Mission failed successfully

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Who needs terminators when a nice irradiated zone will do the job just fine

[–] MaxPow3r11@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

but what if his own family begins to see the threat that Melon is...

then what...

who will save him then...

[–] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

A bodyguard would turn on him. Torture him first to transfer wealth then top him.

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 89 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You only need to wait for the purge, and in a queue, if you're going one-on-one, but never forget - we are the many, they are the few, all we need to do is unite.

v for vendetta masked crowd

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (14 children)

In the purge anything goes, even cutting in line

[–] ComradeMiao@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Oh yeah, I'm a badass mix of Jonny bravo and Evel Knievel. None have performed such a daring stunt. It all started when I was born, I realized I could be born first by cutting in front of my twin.

Then I continued my extreme sport as I grew, candy at trick or treat, using the potty, using the break down lane during construction. There was no end to my daring

This is my story, the man known as Aweso line gets cut

[–] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ohh thr English won't stand for that!

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

If they've a problem they can line up and speak with me! I'll have them know though, that I'll be first in line to talk to me no matter what.

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[–] LolaCat@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Just wait until The Purge happens, then you can legally skip in line 👍

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

I like the idea that all of these people are at a truce because they all want to kill Elon and they're all like, "okay, first this guy, then we do the real Purge."

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 1 year ago

This does not work on the British. Waiting in line is the holiest of holy activites for the British.

[–] zephorah@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s good to see focus on the two men behind the curtain instead of the orange distraction. That 1A speech was very very scripted, nuanced, and scary. More smoke and mirrors. The only piece of Trump I saw in it was the “require a court order to remove/ban a social media account”.

Sadly the only original, unfiltered through other YouTubers vid is posted by RFK. It even has big green crayon all caps, bold letter subtitles.

Look to Elon and Vance. They’re the bigger threats.

[–] whithom@discuss.online 3 points 1 year ago (6 children)

They would be easier to… ya know… get in proximity of.

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[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago
[–] Semjaza@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 1 year ago

But Purges are a right wing phenomena to attack society, they'd never be able to off a millionaire.
A day or two before Musky gets on his private jet and flies off to a third country, or a private island or somewhere while right wing hate groups kill off minorities, leftists, and political critics.

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