this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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What do you do in bed that drives your partners crazy?

top 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] throbbing_banjo@lemmy.world 73 points 1 month ago (2 children)

First, I put on my wizard hat...

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 month ago

I was there Gandalf, 3000 years ago...

[–] hemmes@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] thurstylark@lemmy.today 47 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I am pan, and have been with all sorts of people, and I have this one ancient, infallible technique that always guarantees a good time:

Listening

I'm dead serious. It works wonders across the entire board, regardless of gender, sexuality, body type, ability, or equipment configuration. Whoever your partner is, communication is your most valuable tool. Whether verbal or non-verbal, listening to what your partner has to say about what they want and how they feel will always tell you what to do.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 month ago

Yup, former part-time sex worker and all-round slut here - when I saw the title, this was the first thing I thought of.

Second was, learn to enjoy giving pleasure. Nothing gets me off more than getting them past what they thought their limits were >:-)

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

As someone with less experience I experience that is exactly what I would have expected to be most important but I would have also thought that it is so trivial that it probably doesn't need to be said.

[–] Confee@fedinsfw.app 2 points 1 month ago

I would have also thought that it is so trivial that it probably doesn't need to be said.

In my experience, the majority of people I know who were in relationships don't get it. So many times, their problems could be resolved by simple communication. Sadly, no matter how hard I try to ram it in their heads, they still don't get it.

[–] Bwaz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Maybe not. The basic idea, not obvious to all, is that this is something you do WITH a partner, not a performance you put on for them.

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

except when the person lies

[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 39 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Cook dinner, wash the dishes and help with the laundry.

[–] Billy_fuccboi@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

And eat pussy

[–] remon@ani.social 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Damn, the housing crises is really bad ... do you at least have a separate room for the toilet?

[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago

That depends on how spicy we feel.

[–] enphurgen@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can we not turn into reddit please? Just fucking talk to your partner

[–] Confee@fedinsfw.app 14 points 1 month ago

I'm fine with it. Asking questions is a good way to get ideas you may have never thought of yourself.

[–] happydoors@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

No, there is a simple answer for sex and relationships out there. There’s gotta be. I JUST NEED TO FIND IT. LOUD NOISES.

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 16 points 1 month ago

!askfedinsfw@fedinsfw.app

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do the dishes and other chores. If she's not relaxed and thinking of all the other shit in her life that she has to do shortly after she won't enjoy it

Never had sex in my life tho so idk

[–] kalpol@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago

You're not wrong though

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 10 points 1 month ago

“after me and the missus do it, I wipe my dick on the curtains, and she hits the roof”

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

speak eloquently about the existential threat of climate change,.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

*boing* Go on...

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

Right as they’re about to climax, I do my Donald Duck impression.

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I like to rip one out that lifts the bed clothes

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Two minutes of wild missionary then BOOM!...Johnny Carson. /s

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I like to turn on Johnny to set the mood, actually.

[–] guy@piefed.social 6 points 1 month ago

I touch the parts they enjoy and listen to their response for how the touching should be. 9/10 success rate

[–] mech@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You gotta keep up 88 thrusts per minute for at least 2 minutes, then roll over and fall asleep.
Yes, women too.

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Doing this generates 1.21 jizzywatts.

[–] mech@feddit.org 1 points 4 weeks ago

Great Scock!

[–] Confee@fedinsfw.app 5 points 1 month ago

My favorite, (and theirs :3) is combining toys and body. Whether it be a vibrator and your hand or a vibrator and penetration, that double combo makes for some intense times.

[–] HeyMrDeadMan@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

🤟

Don't forget to use your thumb, too.

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 4 points 1 month ago

just tell her what a good girl she is.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

First put the beads in... Then

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 0 points 4 weeks ago

I've always wanted to rip them out like I'm starting a lawnmower.

[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Cunnilingus also, somehow, taking 'no' for an answer.

Well communication and asking what they prefer listening to their responses etc BUT getting good with my mouth has gotten me amazing reactions and awe whether it is a dick or a tit I am sucking on.

[–] bcgm3@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

Cthulhu driving his partner crazy

They take one look at me, and they're stark raving mad.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  1. Knees towards stomach, any position
  2. Incredible endurance
[–] ghen@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I got number two in spades but my wife hates it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Not everybody is into poop.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

did you know that you can stop once she runs out of vaginal fluid? It's true!

[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I give them full control and power. I am the opposite in public life, which is interesting I suppose. I tend to seek out those who want such things. That and going back in for round 2 before I leave.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

First put the beads in then..... Let 'ER RIP!

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Not Wheelbarrow