this post was submitted on 03 May 2026
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General Memes & Private Chuckle

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[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 62 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Wiping mentioned on the internet, bidet sleeper agent activated

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Yeah, like everybody has the possibility to install a bidet.

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

assuming you have running water, yeah you should be able to find a model that works. if you mean your landlord "won't let you", enjoy the sweet sensation of not giving a fuck what they think because they will never check. if for some reason you still can't, they make portable bidets that you don't even need to install. I have one that is basically just a water bottle with a curved nozzle for a cap, so you just have to fill it, aim, and squeeze to spray your ass. there are fancier ones with a battery and pump.

[–] UnrefinedChihuahua@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Many people assume a standalone bidet and don't realize there's cheap ones you can install on your existing toilet pretty easily. I bought a few ~~ransoms~~ randoms off of Amazon 6 years ago and they are still going strong.

[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I have a washlet from Toto, and the built in bidet is nice, but man the shape of the seat is so good. I would honestly use it just for the toilet seat part.

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 week ago

I'm using a showerhead with narrow spray mode. It's not very convenient, but it gets the job done

[–] wopalopa@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago
[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] PoliteDudeInTheMood@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Doctor gave me Colesevelam, I forget what it's actually used for, but off-label: it binds matter together in your GI tract. Each pill lasts like 3-4 hours so as long as you take them regularly during the day (3x2 pills is max I think) you will have a sense of normalcy while at work. Once they wear off though you're back to business as usual.

[–] douz0a0bouz@midwest.social 7 points 1 week ago

This should've been posted in shitposts

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Rub some Oxyclean on there. It's the stain specialist!

[–] Mister_Hangman@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Chipotleaway!

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

90s solution. Phil Swift sealed his ass with FlexSeal.

[–] nonentity@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

It’s like wiping a marker.

[–] vagrancyand@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's why I finger blast myself until I get hard. I'm not German so I can't poop while erect and the flow stops. Just one very careful wipe after that and we're good to go.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Like trying to wipe away a grease pencil.

(The answer is fiber! Have a decent amount and sometimes its a ghost shit!)

[–] Serpent@feddit.uk 2 points 1 week ago

Psilium husk is a god send

[–] diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You need to use the millitary finger method☝️ Its environmentanly friendly cuz it only takes 1 square of toilet paper!

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What about the 3 seashells? That’s far more sustainable.

[–] diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Seems okay but its dangerous tho

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 2 points 1 week ago

Live dangerously.

[–] M137@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've had this maybe twice my whole life, it's usually 5-6 wipes and there's nothing left. Dunno what the fuck you're eating or doing to have that as a common problem.

[–] LetThereBeNick@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago

I'm convinced these people press too hard

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago

its cocaine isnt it?