Uhh, billions of years?
The Bible is centered around just 10,000 or less years of total universal history, from what I've seen.
I don't believe that, I'm just explaining the dogma here.
this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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Latin is the best language though
Which is why it's spoken all over the world today!
Why not, worked for the church
Satan cant be billions of years old if the universe os less than10,000 years. Latin or something similar was around when Christianity was invented, so it makes sense god and satan would speak it?
I kinda thought of it as, "My native tongue is as ancient as the seas, as foundational as the mountains, as incomprehensible to you as the stars are to ants. Anyway, 2000 years ago I had to hire a guy to translate that into one of your languages just so you people could sign a fucking contract. It was a huge mess, guy took twice as long as he quoted me, legal department rejected it three times before it got approved, the whole thing went way over budget. Long story short, I'm not updating the paperwork. You can Google it if you want the fine print."
His legal templates are all in Latin, his production code is all in COBOL, etc.
...and using that for my next dnd campaign! Thanks!
LOL, I'm honored, thanks!
Satan speaks Hebrew in our world.
Hey, aren't you that horse from horsing around?
Same with Enigma.
this is because Satan tries to mimic God and the lsnguage of the Roman Catholic Church is Latin.
What if he thought that language?
Honestly, I think Sumerian or Akkadian would be better but Latin does have its charms.
Aramaic seems like it was a big deal for a while
It was, more in the Ptolemaic and Roman periods in Palestina and Judaea. It takes almost all of its vocabulary from Hebrew. Even at its height, it was basically just a regional language and never had the reach and depth that Greek and Latin had.
It's important if you're studying intertestamental or early Christian texts, but, even then, many were translated to Greek
Ehh honestly, can't something as powerful and as long lived as Satan just... Know all spoken languages?
Imagine Satan trying to seduce you, but unable to buy your soul because he can't speak your language fluently. Would be a funny setup, but kinda lame
So if you were like a terminally online furry would Satan be all uwu *buys your soul*
*notices your soul* OwO what's this?
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Satan: vende mihi animam tuam pro maximo desiderio
Me: what's this about my verandah?
Satan: vende mihi animam tuam pro maximo desiderio
Me: Sorry, I... I got to get going, I got an appointment, hope you get help with whatever the fuck you need.
vade retro satana, nunquam suade mihi vana
Well, for the Western world, classical Latin has a kind of mystique or vibe that other languages don't. People fear the grammar and classical pronunciation is just different enough (all c's are pronounced as "k") to make it sound familiar and foreign.
Interesting point, so it kind of puts it in the uncanny valley of language.
familiar foreign spooky.
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Yes but how many Sumerian or Akkadian grimoires survive today in their original language?
Nowhere as many as Latin. As far as ancient languages, Egyptian magical texts definitely outnumber Akkadian and Sumerian.
A large number of surviving Akkadian texts are commercial or official records. The most famous is probably the complaint against Ea Nasir.
Unfortunately we know what latin sounds like (though most of hollywood has only a vague concept), and nobody speaks ancient Egyptian of Akkadian.
From what I gather even reading either is a nightmare..
Yeah hieroglyphs don't record vowel sounds, so on many accounts we don't actually know how something was pronounced. There's good guesses made based on later phonetics, but there's unavoidably also stuff that's just forever lost. Latin is way easier because we can just use the church latin pronunciation that still survives, don't even need to go for the classical one. It's not like average people know the difference anyway
We also have latin rhymes and even pronunciation guides from many different times, because the romans ended up teaching latin to quite a few people for uhm... less ethical reasons.
But does it really matter if we don't kmow what they sound like. It's not like audience will know either.
Unless Ea Nasir was carving scarabs and magic squares on his copper, I don't think that counts as a magical text.
I'm aware of the Chaldean Oracles, but they don't survive in their original language. I think the oldest surviving translations are in Greek or Arabic.
Have you seen Akkadian? Shits got like 300 letters. Latin was definitely the upgrade.
One of my professors could read Akkadian. He had to master Biblical Hebrew before being allowed to begin studying Akkadian. He said he had hundreds of flashcards and spent at least an hour every day studying them - aside from doing his regular coursework.
I took 25 credit hours each of Biblical Hebrew and Latin, and I am quite content never having attempted Akkadian.
Yeah, if I was Satan, that would have been the earliest utterance of the phrase 'fuck that shit'.
I have a wall in my head that won't accept this as funny because it entirely misses what Satanism is.
It's a response to Christianity, and in its oldest forms, Catholicism. So, the Latin bit should be the default. There wouldn't have been Satanists that were using Aramaic or whatever. Hell, anyone engaging in the equivalent of satan worship from before the creation of satan in the form religious Satanists do worship could have spoken anything from their era anyway.
It's not like there's a ton of examples of satan dictating holy (or unholy) books, but he/she/it would still have spoken the the dark prophets in their own tongue. Why the fuck would you speak Enochian to some random Babylonian? You'd speak Babylonian.
I mean (many of) the earliest Bibles were in Coptic (which is still used liturgically by some of the oldest Orthodox churches). Christianity also really inherited that form of dualism more from the Zoroastrians so Avestan is another great option. But if you want to come from the Judaic roots yeah babylon was the origin of the major opposing deities in Judaism's early monolatrist perspective so especially if you're fighting the Abrahamic God with Baal that would be your main pick.
Side Rant: It really cannot be overstated how much the Catholic church really fucked up Christianity. It was originally a syncretistic anti imperialist death cult (in that you would martyr yourself by publicly accepting death over imperialism). If I ever got a time machine Athanasius of Alexandria is much higher on my list than Hitler. It's not even that I'm specifically opposed to trinitarianism—the number three does seem significant to some universal truth across numerous cultures (Plato's chariot, Taoist three elements of destiny, even Freud to name a few)—but killing people en masse over it is unspeakable. And to have subsequent traditions who were supposedly otherwise anti-catholic in any other respect still specifically follow in the tradition of murder for some reason is ridiculous.
Reading this comment finally helped me understand why new lemmings complain about the prevalence of Linux users here.
I have no idea how to take this comment.
I was thinking more that Satan, as we know the entity is largely a product of creation grafted onto older things all hodgepodge.
No reason said entity couldn't adopt older languages if it was real, obviously.
But, in terms of Satanists, they're such a comparatively modern thing that them using Latin makes sense for multiple reasons
Personally I'm more of a Peter was a Roman plant meant to subvert early Christianity into something more friendly to the Romans. So I'd just go and make sure Peter drowns or something. Either that or ensure that the Cult of Sol Invicta becomes dominant and ensuring Aurelian survives, mostly out of spite.
The Old Testament was written in Hebrew.
The New Testament was written in Koine Greek.
The Copts speak a descendant language of Egyptian.
Well it’s the ecclesiastical language of Christianity, and the Satanic cults depicted are typically couched in Biblical mythology.
I expect that the idea is to be a dark mirror of Catholic masses (Black Masses, etc.) but this somehow brings to mind the mental image of a Satanist Martin Luther nailing a list of 95 grievances to the door of some wicked temple and translating the Black Mass into German for the accessibility of the common Satanist folks who don't know Latin.
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