I'd love to hear a little more about how you handle your situation.
Is it a friendly status quo they have, or is it war footing?
this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2026
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I once moved to Kentucky for a gay relationship
They were about to become homeless. I paid for their trip to me. I paid and did all the bureaucracy stuff and paid for their language courses hobbys and other. Only now they got a job, after 3 years of searching, that has them indipendend from me. Today they are my husband
What lottery did bro win
The crazy thing is. I almost didnt message them on the forum. Crazy how life is like sometimes
I met my wife 40 years ago simply from a casual message that I could have missed or ignored. The thing you have to remember is, it's not that you had some destiny together that you almost lost out on, but that it's simply how things worked out, and if you're happy with it, it worked well.
See Tim Minchin's "If I Didn't Have You" song.
OP, how is this not incredibly awkward?!
I think it’s because neither of us sees the other as an enemy. Plus, it’s a nice, big house in New Jersey, so it doesn’t feel crowded.
Left my home to fly across the country with no backup plan and a few hundred bucks to my name. We’re married and have been together since.
I married her. That’s pretty crazy to dedicate your entire life to one person. But I knew I found my soulmate for life. Been married for over 20 years now.
My cousin dropped out of college for some dude. Full ride and everything. My uncle was PISSED.
one of my friends gave up doing her PhD at Stanford for her 'daddy', a guy 30 years older than her, and ended up going to a crappy state school so they could 'be together'.
they broke up a year later.
Whoa whoa slow down with the plot twists at the end there!!!
What a shame.
opened up the relationship.
then, once i had women interested in sleeping with me she freaked the fuck out and said it would be cheating if I did it, that 'we' shouldn't have done that and then all the sudden she wanted to be monogamous again, after months of asking to open things up so we could 'both see other people'. because it wasn't cheating if she wanted to have sex with other people... that was me being 'lacking an open mind' or being 'insecure'.
least to say we broke up a few months later. i have dated some other poly/enm women and it was always just like that... the second they found out I with someone else they immediately told me it was cheating on them.
which is why i no longer bother with people who even hint at enm anymore. complete double standards.
That's really unfortunate. ENM can be truly excellent, but only with the right partners and the right mindset. It takes all the difficulties of one monogamous relationship and multiplies the difficulty by a thousandfold, for sure.
Honestly I've always found it to be easier for me. Not to say many don't find it more difficult, but I found monogamy to be stressful and nonmonogamy to generally just be a logistics problem rather than an emotions one.
Different people struggle with different things though
Porn hasn't helped it either. It's a popular topic but you only see the brief moments and not the after, and like you said, it takes both compatible people AND an agreement on expectations. One person strays from that, and you've messed things up for probably everyone involved with each other. I think it would only work if each person cared for the others at the same level, and not one being an "extra".
Carrying a body is always easier with two people
I don't actually know what this means, but it reminded me that I helped carry my best friend's coffin when I was in my late 20s.. I guess that counts.
I flew to Japan.
Maybe you could revenge sex the shit out of that wife, as in have sex with your boyfriend so much and so loudly that she goes insane?
I climbed one of those construction site cranes to prove my courage. I was 13 or 14 years old. Today I'm 37 and in retrospect, all I proved was my stupidity and carelessness. What a waste. She turned out to be a backstabbing, cheating, lying, hateful, racist bitch with capital B. Give me my feelings back. 😭💔
Nah, I respect her as the mother of his kid. She keeps to herself, and I do the same. None of us are looking for drama.
Props. That's a great attitude. Hope it works well for you all.
That's very kind and humble of you. Just don't forget to also look out for your needs. Sry for the unsolicited advice. 😊