this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 26 comments
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[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I only sleep with married men if their wives join us too.

[–] greygore@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They did cuff me one night. That was fun.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Ugh a couple tried this on me a few years ago. The girl was deece, but the guy.... Looked like he lived in the forest and could tell fortunes.

[–] LuminousLuddite@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

deece nuts HA gottem

[–] SoloCritical@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well! Don’t leave me hanging what was your fortune!?

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago

"if you let it touch your lips, ye shall be a triple gay forever"

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 39 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] inari@piefed.zip 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

your parents sound awesome

[–] Sas@piefed.blahaj.zone 40 points 1 day ago (3 children)

No, they do not. Lesbian apps are full of people baiting and "forgetting" they have a bf until a side sentence on a date. No, we don't want your uggo bf and no he can't "just watch" either

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

In my 20s I spent my weekends at the local gay bar. Drag shows. Better music. Better people.

I'm asexual so I was just there to dance and get tipsy.

There was always a hot drunk gal and her pervy bf trying to pick up women. I was pretty sure most of the time the chick wasn't bi or even into it but was doing it to appeal to the guy.

Bro. You already have a hot gf. Stop being greedy. Go home.

They would try to grind up on you and if you said no thanks. They'd just wait a bit and try again. Try to buy you drinks.

Man. These people were the worst. I wasn't the only person who encountered them regularly.

My friends all had stories.

The woman would first get your guard down. Right. You think you are just dancing with another friendly woman. Having a good time. She starts to get a little physical but it's still in the range of acceptable for women. Because women are more comfortable around other women and we don't assume it's pervy. At first.

Then she starts trying to grind or something or kiss you and you gotta be like. Hey. No. Let's just do the other dancing we were doing. Then a flipping dude will pop up out of nowhere. They try to sandwich you.

These people were just the worst. They got known pretty fast though and then everyone shunned them.

They always went after the younger patrons too.

I had a friend where the dude straight up came behind her and grabbed her chest.

And she told me he 100% had an erection. We actually got the bouncer to kick that couple out.

No shame. No understanding boundaries.

They could ruin your evening if they targeted you.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

So they don’t sound awesome because other people do a related and horrible thing that there is no indication that they themselves do?

Just clarifying.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Don't worry, non-lesbian apps have this, too!

"It's just...my husband needs to be there to watch...OKAY, fine, I don't have to tell him!?"

Um.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 6 points 1 day ago

I’m sure there are some downsides. For example, uh, there could be… some risk of chapped lips with the extended physical activity if you don’t hydrate enough.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Chaotic_Altruist@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

Nope, just otters

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 10 points 1 day ago

Do they have a bunch of pineapple decorations around the house? Also how many chairs are in their bedroom?

[–] CapOnBackwards@fedinsfw.app 17 points 1 day ago

Story time!

[–] inkblade@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That is a good "trad" wife.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait, if this is what trad wives do, I might need to rethink some things.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Those rich Mormon wives do that.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 4 points 1 day ago

They both cute

[–] Tiral@lemmy.world 0 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Had this happen to me as well. They said the husband would sit in the corner and watch. But it's one thing to joke about, it's another when it's a legit option lol. I couldn't do it.

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago