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this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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Don't change your number
You know, I have a structured settlement, but I need cash now...
I can only remember the emergency services number, 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3
I've seen this a few times. Is this a real emergency number and, if so, what the hell!?
It's a bit from The IT Crowd, and amazing British comedy from the '00s.
It's less amazing the more you learn about the asshole who made it.
I can still support the actors and artists who worked on the show.
also your comment is quite funny for a guy with Firefly in their name. (Not attacking, just noting the funny moment).
If you're referring to the show called "Firefly" I haven't watched it. I've used this screenname since the 1990s, before that show was a thing (though I understand it was also made by a creep.)
It's creeps all the way down lol
Slop shit again
Hello, Empire Carpet? I'm in Cook County jail and really need to have my cell upholstered.
slop slop slop slop
slop slop slop slop
I love that it generated the name "Juano." That seems like a special kind of racist.
It would be funnier if it was just a dog head poorly pasted on a human.
To be fair, where else are you gonna find even one pay phone, much less a row of them anymore?
probably in prison, actually
Just use your one free call for 911.
"PLEASE. I'M BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL. THEY HAVE GUNS. I'M NOT SURE HOW LONG THEY'LL LET ME SPEAK, PLEASE HURRY."
Technically the truth
The best kind of truth
Big brain activities!!
What would actually happen if you did that? Im sure people have..
I also remember Jenny's number, (867-5309) but I am unsure of the area code.
I also recall Mike Jones' phone number from 2005, (281-330-8004) which is apparently still his number.
Fun fact: I have never gotten a Safeway card and just use Jenny's number
Hope they like carpet because “800-588-2300 Empire Today.”
And associates, asshole.
Only number I know by heart is my wife's phone. She doesn't answer 95% of the time, but she is a lawyer. So got that going lol
I know this is a shitpost but serious question: does anyone know if when you go to jail they would help you out to get a phone number if you dont know. Like can one of them look at your phone to give you your mom's number or something lol
It probably depends on your race and what mood the cop is in.
But I would strongly advise against giving the police access to your unlocked phone after you've been arrested, unless your lawyer greenlights it.
Best to memorize at least one phone number, or maybe keep a business card in your wallet.
But OP did memorize one phone number and look how it turned out.
Ask for a doctor, repeatedly, then ask the doctor for help.
411
211
555-1212
01 811 8055
If you know, you know.
UK answer is Hastings Insurance.
OH EIGHT HUNDRED DOUBLE OHHHHH. TEN SIXTY SIX.
Not sure if that even still exists. Haven't heard anything since ditching TV about 20 years ago.
What did they do exactly? Was it a payday loan service?
payday loan service
Even lawyers aren't this shitty. That was Allan Jones, a small town debt collector.
I have a structured settlement and I need cash now. Call JG Wentworth. 877-CASH-NOW
They’ll buy your structured settlement on the cheap so that you get lump-sum cash. Then they collect the payout from the responsible party. It’s win-win for them.
They also did debt relief stuff too, but as a kid, I only remember the structured settlement commercials.
To expand - a structured settlement is when you sue someone, and they settle out of court, but part of the settlement is that they pay out over time, not all of it immediately.
Sorry Jauno, I always remember my grammys number. (328) 692-7777