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Every few months I will treat myself to something I want. Then take a break and save up money.
I love that dopamine hit from getting something new. But then again, most of the stuff I buy are tools or something that makes me do MORE work. I don't like spending $1000 on a vacation, I just don't enjoy them like other people do.
I live with the premise that I will die but I also live with the premise that I will be old for a significant portion of my life.
Personally I'm trying to maximize longevity but I'll still do risky things if the consequences are things I feel I can deal with
I do the same
That was my excuse to keep smoking. Having kids changed that.
Well I'd say thats not the healthy way to look at it. Not a total yolo, more like I'm gonna do what I want and enjoy while not caring what others think . you definitely won't enjoy smoking or drinking in excess down the road.
On one hand, planning for the future makes sense.
On the other, I don't want to be the richest man in the graveyard.
Funny enough despite being older than a grandparent ever lived to be and losing my mom kinda young, I never do. I already am living like I might die young or might die old. And I always kinda assumed I'd die young, but I don't say fuck it or assume it's coming soon. It's more that I've been living as wildly as I care to since my early 20s because if I put it off until I'm older it's sad, but if it's just how I live it's living life to the fullest. All that said, I financially highly value the ability to remain stable through all of life's hiccups, and I'd rather keep that stability and put off getting to see the Alps, than be a spendthrift.
Never, I'm trapped in my job and life. Everytime I get the opportunity to do something I want, something always takes it away from me. Whether it's work, money, or life in general. I want to run away and experience life, experience the world, but I can't.
What about not fully running away and abandoning everything , but just doing things little steps at a time?
If you have your health, you really can do anything. Even if its just a weekend drive a few hours away, that's still something. You dont need to go clear accross the world in one go
It'll be nice to do that. But, it's only temporary. It'd be cool to run away forever, or even just for a month. Life has been sucky
It's always a balancing act.
I'm being careful. Careful with my health, and careful with my money. Because, I don't want to be a burden to my son, and I want to leave him my house, when I die. It's probably the only way he'll become a homeowner, the way things are now.
I'd love to blow a big chunk of money traveling, but I have priorities, and I can't afford both.
So, yeah, I could, but I won't.
That bitofarambler guy suggests TEFL cert, you can teach part time, live extremely affordably, travel, and have money left over. That's very admirable and unselfish of you. I appreciate that.
You could do both if you travel cheaply. Exploring keeps you healthy, consider it medicine that you need.
Its not so much fuck it i could die in two years lets do what i want. Its more damn, i could die in two years, i need to ensure i take better of my body
Thats all good, we should eat healthy and exercise , but thats still not going to stop you from getting brain cancer etc.
"But what if I don't?" is the immediate counter-thought. I literally cannot stop myself from thinking this.
Then youll make it work.
I'm also not saying to be dumb with it. Try to save and plan for the future as best you possibly can, but I k ow that doesn't work for many.
I'm not saying to spend $500 on a ps4 today when rent is due tomorrow and that was the last of the cash.
Then youll make it work.
Ha. Have you met me? I have, you might say somewhat frequently, and I don't like the odds of that working out.
Not as much as I would like. It's like what you said, I locked myself in a box of I can't (I'm really risk averse XD). It's not so bad, I try to keep myself healthy, so if I ever get out of my blockage, I will have the body to do what I set out to do.
I had a tattoo I wanted for years. I was like well it's going to be really expensive and I shouldn't spend the money on it while I have these expenses coming up. A few years and a divorce later, well, I really want this tattoo, but I have student loans and a car loan and it would be really irresponsible of me to pay for a tattoo instead of putting extra money towards those. Yes I could work a bunch of OT to pay for it, but if I work a bunch of OT then I should take that money and put it towards becoming debt free. Maybe when I pay them off I'll get it. Then it hit me that I won't have my loans paid off until I'm in my 40s, even at the rate I'm going (making double payments every month).
Tattoo was finished yesterday. I could have paid off one of my loans with what it cost, but fuck it's absolutely beautiful. The artist is a painter who tattoos and it legit looks like a painting on my skin.
YES. If you’re gonna spend a lot on a tattoo, absolutely pay more for quality. Seeing a poorly done tattoo just makes me sad. I think you’ll have that ugly thing on your skin for the rest of your life. A good tattoo is always worth it.
My wife had 2 strokes last year. I am quitting my job of 22 years next month mostly due to the company’s work from home policy.
I know not everyone is in a position to just up and quit their jobs, especially this day and age, but life is short.
It's crazy that the company won't allow this. If it doesn't effect your work, then the only reason to not approve it seems to be because the health and care for your wife should come second to the company. That's pretty shit and it sucks that was a choice you had to make.
I have some pretty significant, incurable and somewhat untreatable health issues, so a lot. I cannot express how glad and relieved I am that I lived so much in my 20s before my health crashed.
Live while you can.
I'm sorry to hear that 😕 its good you did what you could. Many could not say that and would regret.
This makes me feel like quitting my job altogether..but I like making decent money and not having to worry about it. But some days 9 hours at a desk is just too long.
Every time I deploy scripts to live databases.
I don't have that specific approach to life.
But I do have a "Fuck, I could end up in a hospital with an IV in my arm" approach to trying to keep my body healthy.
I spend time with my kids, and to a lesser extent my wife but also her, but mostly the kids. "They grow up so fast," turns out that was true, and so in an effort to not miss it, I will sacrifice potential earnings to spend more time with them.
And if I think hard about it, the time with them has much more value than some extra money. And is it a risk? Maybe. Maybe my job disappears in 10, 5, 2 years and were fucked, but I'll figure something out. I just know that my kids will also disappear in 10 years, and I need to make sure that I've maximized my time with them, and that I've given them the tools necessary to also "figure something out," because life is hard and it's always been hard, and it's a little easier if you've got the ability to solve problems.
That and I don't think too terribly hard about what I eat. I exercise every day, I get my annual physical, and so long as those two things continue, and everything is good, I'm not going to stress over portions and whatnot.
increasingly more as time passes. I don't think its as much getting old as the social contract increasingly breaking down. I mean even if you don't die does the future look like its going to get any better with more opportunities. Not for where im standing.
I convinced myself decades ago that I'd be dead by 50. Welp. Every year is a bonus year now!
In 2 years, I'll be older than my oldest known ancestor made it. I'm not that old. I think about it every day. The point of life isn't being happy or comfortable, it's finding and creating meaning.
My dad died at 48... my older brother died at 47... as I approached 48 I had quite a bit of anxiety about it. Around age 40 I let my doctor know that I wanted to keep an eye on my heart (that's what took them both out) and he said that he didn't see anything wrong with me, but relented. The first thing we did was got a heart scan. It was a $50 imaging cost and even the woman doing the imaging said that she never sees anyone under the age 50 getting that scan, but they did it... and saw that my aorta was slightly enlarged. Then my doctor had me do a sleep study since I'm a snorer. Sure enough, sleep apnea. I got a cpap and both my wife and I are sleeping so much better now. I felt like I was doing everything right and then around the age 42 I started getting consistent heart palpitations. Even when laying down or resting. That's when I started seeing a cardiologist. She put me on a beta blocker and that fixed the palpitations (or managed them because I'll likely always be on these meds now). But my cardiologist says that I'm her favorite patient because I'm doing everything right (other than exercising)... with the meds, the scans and the cpap she said that I'm on top of it. And my last 2 scans have shown that my aorta is back to its normal size and I won't need any other scans for a few years (likely when I reach 55). I turn 49 next month and as much as I was dreading turning 48, I'm really looking forward to 49 so I can put it all behind me and stop feeling like I have some barrier put up by my brother and dad that I have to get over.
Good luck to you over the next 2 years... I know that dread feeling and I wish I knew a way to get past it rather than just going through it, but make sure you're seeing doctors and doing what you can to stay on top of your heath. That's really the only thing you have control over.
I'm still looking pretty good, actually. I see my peers and I panic, they all look like old men and women.
Thats crazy! Pretty cool.
For sure. There's so much to life to enjoy that doesn't get taken advantage of
Pretty cool.
Is it.
Well, I'm in that state right now, and I think I'm gonna be in it continuously until the biopsy results come back.
I try to live by this philosophy the best I can. I saw it happen to one of my former coworkers. Found out he had a brain tumor around the time he was planning on retiring and was dead within a few months. I visited with his widow after. He was well liked, did well for himself and had a comfortable life, but didn’t make it to retirement. I’m sure plenty of people had similar stories during Covid. Or traffic accidents, sudden health problems, shootings, just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Any of us can go at any time no matter how well we’ve planned things out. Do the things while you can and while you are in good enough shape to enjoy them.
My grandfather was pretty much done until he was suddenly dying. Two years before retirement. He and my grandmother barely got to do any of the things they had talked about and planned over the years.
Don't wait for retirement.
When I was told I was gonna die of cancer in 2 years. Lots of burgers, fries, and beer.
Its really my thing
my entire life. at this point, I'm literally banking on it.
All the time. Highly rewarding. Its just normal behaviour now and something pursued.
At a young age, I made it my goal to die with as few regrets as possible; this is succeeding in life. I'm not old, but already have no fear of death.
Both doing and not doing are risks. Not doing has far worse consequences.
