Just let him keep drinking it by the gallon and the problem will take care of itself.
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2026
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Didn't the clown talk about injecting bleach, not drink it?
its got what plants crave!!
Since a diet high in sugar does kill human cells and cancer cells are human cells, soda does in fact kill cancer.
I stopped at "Trump apparently thinks" and said "naaaaaah"
Maybe he meant to say, “Your dad argues that diet soda is good for him because it kills grass if you pour it on grass, so therefore it must kill brain cells inside the head, and that is why he is declaring war against every third-world country while the Democrats want to declare him unfit to serve as POTUS.”
My completely unscientific theory is that all the preservatives in his food are, well, preserving him. Which is why he's still up and moving around.
But why is he talking about cancer. Does he have cancer??
We can only hope.
Poor cancer
Killing cancer is really easy. The hard part is keeping the patient alive while doing it.
Yeah, small detail.
It's scientifically proven that guns can kill cancer, in a Petri dish.
That also kills the Petri dish.
Knowing that 47% of US voters will vote for this guy no matter what he says, does or fails to do is utterly painful. This man shouldn't be allowed to run a lemonade stand, much less an elected office or branch of government.
In the very first episode of The Apprentice, they had to run a lemonade stand. One idiot tried to get someone to pay a million dollars for a cup of lemonade
Uh, source please. For peer review.
Ow, My Balls! (2506)
Idiocracy (2006)
Draino kills grass, too. Way more effectively than diet soda.
Draino isn't for cancer though, it's for his cholesterol clogged arteries
Draino is pretty effective for pretty much anything in its path, except metal. It doesn't discriminate.
Really? What's the racist drain clog buster? I won't bust clogs without racism.
Please note that Trump insists on drinking from the small Diet Coke bottle.
A regular 16-ounce bottle makes his hands look so tiny
Keep sucking down those over sugared caffeine bombs, you twit. More the better actually.
The Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center declined to comment.
Hahahaha. Just imagine getting that email.
That's just proof that he's onto something, Big Cancer is afraid to admit that a cheap cancer cure already exists, obviously.
Trump has cancer and is killing it with soda? Well, at least he's treating it correctly. Donald, add bleach to your sodas for extra killing power. Lots of bleach.
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Has he tried injecting bleach yet?
This is easy to disprove, if carbonated drinks could kill cancer Trump would've died already.
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Brawno. It's got what plants crave.
Such a better President
More eloquent, trustworthy, handsome. Not a pedophile or a convicted criminal. What's not to like?
Hires the smartest,oat qualified people he can find
I know that there's a lot of crazy to unpack, here, but can we talk about the grass for a second? Just how much soda did he pour on his lawn? To make him think of soda as some kind of grass killer?
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The man who suggested people drink bleach during the COVID pandemic
This honestly blew my mind, and I don't think he's ever topped this level of stupid. To this day it may be the dumbest thing he ever said. I'm just in awe of this reality.
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