this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2026
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xkcd #3232: Countdown Standard

Title text:

Anyone who is caught counting 'three ... two ... one ... zero ... GO!' will be punished with a lifetime of eating only ISO standard food samples.

Transcript:

Transcript will show once it’s been added to explainxkcd.com

Source: https://xkcd.com/3232/

explainxkcd for #3232

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[–] rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 142 points 3 weeks ago (33 children)

This, and standardizing what "this Thursday" and "next Thursday" mean. These terms have become functionally useless (to me) because of how they're used differently by different people. Whenever someone uses these terms to try to intimate a particular date to me, I just ask for the exact calendar date rather than the day of the week to avoid ambiguity.

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 80 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Biweekly is another one. Two times a week, or once every two weeks (also called a fortnight)?

[–] psycotica0@lemmy.ca 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is one of those ones that's a tragedy. Biweekly "should" always mean every two weeks. Twice a week is "semi-weekly", aka every half a week.

But regardless of what it "should" mean, people use it wrong often enough that you have to check every time, not because the word is ambiguous, but because people are often mistaken.

It's a shame, but it's part of human communication 😅

[–] zerofk@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Human communication sucks. It should be illegal.

[–] Klear@quokk.au 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] _NetNomad@fedia.io 9 points 2 weeks ago

sorry that's illegal

[–] Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There's also semi monthly, which is two times a month, as opposed to every two weeks, which is what biweekly is

[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Semi monthly results in 24 events per year while biweekly events happen 26 times

[–] saplyng@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I can't express the amount of visceral discomfort this brought me.

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[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Approximately 26 times a year.

[–] Nihilore@quokk.au 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Fortnightly already exists as a term though, why would biweekly mean the same thing?

[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago

We can have more than one way of describing things. Sometimes there is subtle nuances between the words.

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[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

There is a rule but it's not really well known so people just follow whatever rule they deduced from usage. People have to qualify which one they mean almost every time. I usually say "this coming Thursday" (this week), or "Thursday next week" instead.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 12 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

The rule makes perfect sense (and is how I’ve always used it), but this article actually misses a major point which I just learned last week when talking to some native Spanish speakers. In most English speaking countries, the week starts on Sunday. This isn’t the case for many, many other countries though. So saying “this Friday” on a Sunday really really confuses people. That’s exactly what happened to me last week because it was a Sunday and we were talking about a Friday and she got very very confused.

[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Excellent point. Same for most European countries, I think.

Another date confusion things is weeks. Europeans use week numbers a lot ("I'm on vacation weeks 34-37") but that's very rare in the US. And the week numbers aren't (always) the same anyway. In the US we use "I'm on vacation the week of ", which honestly is a lot easier to understand without referencing a calendar.

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[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (10 children)

A significant portion of the population thinks that “X times more” and “X times as much” mean the same thing. It drives me insane. I don’t think it’s ever formally taught because they use more rigorous language in school problems, but I’d like to think most people would agree “50% more” means 150%, and “50% as much” means 50%. 2X seems to cause confusion though.

So yeah, codifying that first chance.

Edit: What have I done, I knew better than to post a pet peeve in a comment chain.

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[–] davetortoise@reddthat.com 8 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

"This thursday" is the thursday on this current week. It might be in the future or in the past, which will be obvious from the context.

"Next thursday" is the thursday on the next week after this current one.

"Last thursday" is the thursday on the last week before this one.

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[–] Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 66 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

I know someone who would always say "we go on three" and then just shout "three!" Without counting or anything. I told him that was super confusing and he just didn't agree and moved on

[–] CoffeeVector@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think he was making fun of you.

[–] Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

He was an EMT and it was about lifting someone in sync so they don't fall...

[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think it's so the person being lifted doesn't tense, when ready for it. So you kind of surprised them but it's an acceptable surprise, as they are expecting a move.

[–] Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 weeks ago

These are usually either unconscious or screaming people, not the kind to care about what an EMT says.

[–] WR5@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Pretty good joke, to be honest.

[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Playing Let’s Go Eevee with my 6yo niece the other day, and when I counted trying to time our pokeball throws she would demand to be the one who counts. Her method was to try and surprise me, it seems. She would change the timing between each number independently every time, like “3, … ….. 21GO!” Sometimes, she would just throw on 1 but keep counting. Realized it was easier just to watch her arm.

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Well, five is right out.

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[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 2 weeks ago
[–] VinegarChunks@lemmus.org 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Unconfusable:

Ready, Set, Go!

[–] xylogx@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

Ready, set, on your mark, get set, get ready, here, we …

[–] Madrigal@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago
[–] mr_satan@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 weeks ago

I just say "THREE!". It's the "ONE TWO THREE!" variant but I skip "ONE" and "TWO".

If you're not ready now, you won't be after the count down.

[–] Lehmuusa@nord.pub 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

In Finnish we typically say "Än, yy, tee, nyt!", because our word for "now", nyt, is composed of letters N, Y and T.
The "y" is pronounced roughly the same way as "ew" in "new". "ä" in the same as "a" in "cat", and "e" is the same as "e" in "well".

How about translating this to English and using the following as the standard?

"Aehn, oh, double you, now!"
🙃

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

The three syllable 'w' kinda ruins it.

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[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 9 points 3 weeks ago

Left out the Arthurian "One... Two... Five... No, Three... Go!"

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 weeks ago

What about 3, 2, 1, 0, segfault?

[–] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

In T2: Judgement Day, when Miles Dyson has to turn two keys simultaneously to open the vault to get the Terminator prototypes, they go

3-2-1-turn and then AFTER that, they turn. How many times would people have messed that up, learning such a weird pattern? That's totally unintuitive!

Judge it yourself

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't it

"on three: one, two, THREE!"

[–] Shave_MyBeever@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] jafra@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

This translates to 1 - 2 - 3 - GO!

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago

Same wifh rock paper scissors

[–] Jakylla@jlai.lu 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] pelya@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Liftoff is a non-integral byproduct of the countdown, not an actual canon part of the sequence.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

If you don't say liftoff then the rockets don't ignite.

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[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

One, two, five!

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The real problem in my opinion is people count too slowly and irregularly for a precise sync up. Better to learn from the world of music and count off

One ee and ah, two ee and ah, three ee and ah GO

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