i heard the reason the printer wastes your cyan or magenta and refuses to print without it even for black and white prints is that it has to finger print the paper so it can be traced back to you
this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2026
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Castielsprostate has been using HP inkjet printers for too long. They need to get a Brother laser printer.
Have a small-office level printer. Zero trouble for a decade. Previously had a succession of inkjets and had to deal with bloated software, greedy refills and restrictions on them, and flawed scanner feeds.
Never buying those things again.
I tripped and fell a while ago. I have no idea how it happened but I'm pretty sure I heard the printer chuckle. I've been sleeping with the lights on and a balled-up sheet of paper under my pillow ever since. If it tries anything, I'm shoving that paper in its paper tray. And then I'll say something cool like "I hope you brought your guitar, cause it's time to jam!"
Everything smart in my house is self hosted and air gapped.
My tech illiterate friend: "we've got *webcams in every room! 💕"
*Chinese, cloud based
Ahhh, beat me to it lol
Your printer is a brat.
That skit has lived rent free in my head for years.
Technically, its not their fault, they were made that way and have no means of changing themselves...
But that doesn't change that they functionally are agents of evil.
... They're basically Orcs, but with even less agency.
PC LOAD LETTERwhat the fuck does that mean >:(
Goddamn it feels good to be a gansta.
Pee Cee Load Letter?! What the fuck does that mean?!
Like that fucking snitch deserves.
Oh, you need to print a form before going to the airport because of some outdated entry requirement? Sure, I will jam the paper 3 times, ask for a magenta cartridge after failing printing, even if you are printing black only, and then i will ask to sacrifice your first born when you are getting desperate to print and leave!
Not mine, its from the 90s and i wish to be buried with it
Bold of you to assume you're going to be the one to outlive a 90s printer.
I told you to not give it a gun!!
Nah it's like how some cultures used to bury live servants with their masters when the master died. Pretty greedy tbh, that printer could serve generations after them
I don't see that assumption though.
I wish I still had my Okidata printer I used with my C-64. Yes, it's dot matrix and slow, but it knew its job and did it well. Same with our later HP 5P. Solid. What the hell happened, HP?
Every printer is a fucking snitch.
I mean, color printers are with their yellow tracking dots.
I'm also pretty sure that cats understand human languages and just choose to ignore us most of the time.
One of my friends, who has never had a cat, told me that cats were way stupider than dogs because they didn't follow basic commands and probably didn't even know their own names.
I think it takes living with cats to realize that they are smart as hell and understand a lot of what you're saying - they just don't give a fuck.
They choose to actively impede humanity.
Just like humanity!
They were forged in the evil foundries of Hewlett-Packard
Just read that (at least 3D) printers will become even more evil
(seriously, lol, or should I say, lmao, at whoever thought about doing this kind of shit unironically)
Yo, that's crazy
Soon anarchists won't even be able to print posters anymore lol, the writers of Cyberpunk 2077 couldn't make this shit up.
It's not the printers themselves that are evil. They were just made this way by their overlords.
They're just proto-Daleks, everybody knows this.
I have had exactly zero problems with the two Brother laser printers I’ve owned for the last 20 years.
I haven’t had problems with printers on Linux or Mac. Literally just windows that is shit honestly.