My wife and I were hanging out in the living room, and my 5 year old came out and politely said "Mommy, Daddy, I just wanted you to know that nothing is wrong and you don't need to come into my room."
this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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Haha, mine has done the same thing.
Not a parent, but when I hear stuff like that, even I get shivers up my spine
Reminds me of that one post forced update screen in Windows 10: “Your files are exactly where you left them”
Jesus christ, that's like a perfect opening line for a PSX horror game bwahaha
So what was it?
Didn't you listen? There was nothing!
He had spilled something quite badly, I don't remember what it's been more than 10 years, but then he had covered it up just as badly in true little kid fashion. Like, vaguely put a piece of paper over it.
You cant leave us hanging! @Ellvix@lemmy.world
That means to immediately investigate what's going on in the room.
Yup. We were joking about it when he was much older, he remembered the event, and remembered legitimately thinking it was a good idea to disuade us. He made a mess, didn't want to get caught, and thought "I better let them know everything is ok. Then they won't come check."
When I was a little kid, my mom took me to a public building to use the restroom and, for some reason, allowed me to take a Koosh ball with me. While I was in there, I dropped the ball in the urinal.
The first thing I said when I came out carrying it was "you don't have to worry, I washed it off!" For some reason this caused some consternation.
Oh my gosh, I love kids lmao
They're the best.
A stick of butter?
thats an eastern us variety i think, the western variety is shorter an wider
the western variety is shorter an wider
That's where I thought this was going.
Butter chodes
Huh. Didn't know that. Yeah we have these in New York.
And...you just eat it like that?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaK7qMQqeUA
I don't know any fancy non YouTube links and I use Grayjay. I'm sorry.
Okay, that's it. I was trying to be polite about American food culture on here, give people a chance, you know. Not laugh about it.
But this shit is just an offense against humanity.
What... What else would I do with it?
Put it on something ... like bread?
Ew, gross!
They come in half cup (125ml) sticks in the US.
Or 1/4 cup sticks (half the length of the 1/2 cup sticks), which usually end up a more convient size
Well I certainly didn't leave the butter.
In unrelated news, the child has the galloping shits
The complexity of the case is beyond infinite. Maybe project the bat signal.
George Constanza brought in for questioning
"half eaten stick of butter" ...
nothing in that makes any sense.
A stick of butter which was only half-eaten, and so there is half remaining.
If "stick of butter" is the part which is confusing, it might be helpful to know that calling it a stick suggests this individual may reside in the eastern United States.
In the Eastern states, butter typically comes in thin stick-shaped bars, in comparison to the fatter bars in the Western states (and most of the rest of the world)
it's also often in tubs in most of the world
not so mich in in Australia, the stuff in tubs here is synthetic butter aka margarine, or a butter oil frankenstien mix to make it more easiky "spreadable."
oh uh well then idk
as a vegan the butter i use is "fake" butter (although i can't believe that), maybe the "real" animal butter is not in tubs that often
yes, that clears up one part, but who in the world eats a stick of pure butter..
The small child in the story who tried it, discovered that eating pure butter is actually terrible, and abandoned it in her mother's bedcovers.
that makes perfect sense actually. I think i was confused by the aparent (to me) focus on finding it in the bed, instead of on the "stick of butter" and "half eaten" part. :)
My sister did when she was 3. Especially when she couldn't find worms.
😂
I used to when I was a kid. Tasted good
On a serious note: did you ever figure out who left the butter in your bed and why?
Maybe it's a scam?