Let’s be precise about the setup. You are not launching someone with a rocket. You are sending them to the Sun with a kick to the ass. That means everything starts at the point of contact, and everything depends on what that one kick does to the human body.
Before you even get to space, you have to deal with what happens inside the body. At the speeds required, the contents of the digestive system do not behave like “contents” anymore. The instant your foot lands, everything in the lower body compresses and accelerates violently. Pressure spikes. The material inside is forced forward at extreme speed, effectively turning into a high-pressure mass moving through the body. It is not contained, and it is not stable. It becomes part of the overall energy release.
Now look at the body itself.
A human body is not built to handle anything close to the forces needed here. The moment you deliver a kick to the ass at the speeds required to leave Earth, the body does not “launch.” It fails. The force travels through tissue, bone, and fluid faster than the structure can respond. Bones do not bend. They shatter. Organs do not shift. They rupture. The body essentially breaks apart at the point of impact and continues to come apart as energy moves through it.
At lower speeds, you could imagine someone being thrown. At these speeds, there is no intact person to throw.
Now bring in the actual physics of reaching the Sun.
To escape Earth’s gravity, your kick to the ass needs to accelerate the target to about 25,000 miles per hour. That is the minimum just to avoid falling back. But even that does not send them into the Sun. Earth is already moving sideways around the Sun at roughly 67,000 miles per hour. So unless your kick to the ass cancels that motion, the remains simply enter orbit.
To actually hit the Sun, your kick to the ass has to overcome gravity, erase that sideways speed, and then push inward. That puts the required velocity well over 100,000 miles per hour. At that point, the event is no longer about motion. It is about energy.
Picture the moment of impact. You line up the kick to the ass. You commit. Your foot connects.
There is no clean trajectory. The air around you compresses and ignites. The shockwave spreads outward instantly. The body of the person being kicked is no longer a body. It becomes a rapidly expanding cloud of superheated matter. The internal contents, already under extreme pressure, are released into that expansion. Everything that was once a person becomes part of a single, violent conversion of mass into heat and motion.
And you do not survive delivering that kick to the ass. The energy required exceeds anything a human body could produce or withstand. The force that destroys the target destroys the source just as completely.
So how hard does a kick to the ass have to be to send someone into the Sun?
Hard enough that the body cannot remain a body. Hard enough that the kick itself becomes the defining event. Hard enough that the Sun is just where the aftermath would have gone, if there were anything left intact to get there.
