this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2026
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Met this guy on Sunday, he gave me excellent vibes. We hung out again yesterday and ended up at his apartment… I ended up staying the night. Now he’s at work and I’m still here. Woke up feeling like a wife, lol.

I kind of want to make my top comfort food, turmeric chicken noodle soup, for when he gets home. I’ve just been going with the flow, and I’m feeling amazing.

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[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

Did you discuss wether you'd stay? Did he just leave without saying anything? I mean if I invited someone in and left the presumption is that they're invited until I kick them out. As for speed, you do you. Don't make any decisions you can't take back, don't have a child, get married, unprotected sex, don't share your banking info yet, etc. Other than that, if there's a problem than you guys can just talk it out. He will let you know if it's moving too fast for him.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 5 points 9 hours ago

85mph is the U.S. speed limit. I wouldn't go above that

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 11 points 12 hours ago

Depends how fast everyone else is going. If I'm the only one on the road, then I'm going the speed limit. Don't want any cops using me to fill their quotas. If someone zooms by at 15 over the limit, I call them a canary, checking the coal mine for speed traps. If they don't get pulled over going 75 in a 60, then I can safely go 65.

If there's a bunch of cars all speeding, then I'll keep pace with them unless they're going over 70. At that point it just isn't worth it to exponentially increase the energy of a collision while logarithmically reducing the time it takes to get to my destination. I'm not going to double my kinetic energy so I can save 15 seconds on my trip.

...wait, I think I misunderstood the question

[–] rossman@lemmy.zip 19 points 15 hours ago

So long you both are comfortable sharing how your feelings when things arent so hot. Speed blurs red flags!

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 42 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

He left you unattended in his apartment? Bold.

Don't just stay there all day. Go home. Make plans for a third date. That's weird to just stay there.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Alternate suggestion: skip soup, rob apartment, buy an even better man. /s

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 22 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Too fast IMO. You're setting yourself up for a less than ideal situation. The guy is going to come home tired from work to find you there, not even having had the time to take a shit and get cleaned up before beginning to think about wanting to do anything with anyone. Everyone is different for sure, but from a pure practical view you're overstaying your welcome.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 points 11 hours ago

Exception being that if I came home to a woman who wanted to fuck I'd be pretty stoked. Later I might worry about if she was going through my shit or whatever though.

[–] Eddyzh@lemmy.world 36 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Matters if you are 40 or 25.

The older you are, life is to short to delay. But keep your mind open for the sides you don't know of him yet.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

Yup. I was 30 when I met my partner. We met on Tinder. Just meant to fuck a few times and that was it.

Married after 8 months of meeting. Been married over 8 years now.

[–] violet08@lemmy.today 9 points 22 hours ago
[–] Breezy@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

Above the speed limit is to fast.

[–] remon@ani.social 19 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Marrying on the first date is too fast.

[–] HuudaHarkiten@piefed.social 4 points 20 hours ago

Good thing they haven't made a whole reality tv franchise about that idea!

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 7 points 18 hours ago

So did you go out with PugJesus or SatansMaggotyCumFart in the end?

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago

This is too fast. But, sometimes it works out, so you'll get people talking about those times. I think when it works out, it's just luck. Better to hold back and get to know him better, I think that's the best plan, don't you? Really?

[–] ValiantDust@feddit.org 9 points 20 hours ago

In my opinion what you are describing is way too fast. If someone did that when dating me, I would run.

But I'm not part of your situation, so my opinion doesn't matter. What matters is that it works for the two of you. You are fine with it, so that's covered. So my only advice would be maybe check with him if he is comfortable with it. Or be prepared to deal with the consequences if he isn't.

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 15 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

As long as you don't give off overly attached girlfriend meme vibes.

[–] MyMindIsLikeAnOcean@piefed.world 5 points 18 hours ago

Can’t answer this without a better story and some history for both of you.

The boiler plate answer here is too fast…but there’s no correct answer.

I've bought my friends meals and given food in charity (I don't cook that well), I don't consider that "too fast", that's just regular prosociality. You already fucked him, that's the fast part, so idk how much "faster" you can go, lol.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

I think as long as you have no expectations, going with the flow is great.

[–] JimmyMcGill@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

How did it go with him going to work?

Did he just leave you there or did he tell you to stay?

As other users are pointing out it’s definitely too fast for most relationships but like, do you want what most relationships have and do that or do you want to do what feels right?

Depending on how the situation went in the morning then getting home to a “wife” it’s chicken noodle soup sounds AMAZING. It could also sound awful to him but at least you will know that maybe you aren’t on the same page.

You said going with the flow has turned out amazing, I say keep going and see where it goes. Maybe it leads to nowhere except some embarrassment, maybe it leads to something truly special. I’d rather have a chance at that

Good luck and keep me posted :)

[–] violet08@lemmy.today 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

He told me I can stay as long as I want and to make myself comfortable. He woke up and left early for work, and I wasn’t about to leave just as early since I’m not bound by any schedule, lol. He hasn’t been able to make any meaningful friends since coming here, as Swiss people tend to prefer their old, long-term friendships and keep to themselves, so he really enjoys the company.

[–] JimmyMcGill@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

If you want to stay, stay You could also send him a message hinting you were thinking of staying and see how he responds But I guess it might be too late (I hope you stayed)

Hi from Switzerland! (Non Swiss too tho)

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 4 points 19 hours ago

That is all good. Do you have a key to his place so you can lock the door, go home get cleaned up and then get all the stuff you need for cooking.

If you want to add a bit of speed bump, go make the soup at home and have him come to your place.

[–] RedCarCastle@aussie.zone 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

My wife moved in with me in the like week 2 of dating, been 11 years now, roll with it

[–] ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago

Yeah, we moved in together after 3 months, bought a house in 12, and baby in 24. Both in our 30s with steady careers and able to communicate so whilst it was relatively fast it never felt like there was something going unsaid.

[–] brynden_rivers_esq@lemmy.ca 3 points 20 hours ago

When you know you know sometimes! Me and my wife were a bit like this.

Cooking is always welcome.

[–] Libb@piefed.social 4 points 22 hours ago

How fast is too fast, in your opinion?

Depends what's your objective.

A quick fun? Why waste time if that's your thing? Getting married for life, raising many children, and becoming happy grandparents? Maybe you could take it more slowly. Like I mentioned, it all depends the objective.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

C^2. That's impossibly fast.

[–] remon@ani.social 8 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

C + 1 would already do it.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] remon@ani.social 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)
[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

But lacks the dramatic flair

[–] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 16 hours ago
[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

2nd date, and you are moving in? Either you have insane chemistry, or you are way too fast.

[–] violet08@lemmy.today 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 17 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

I think cooking a soup in his kitchen on the second date may be perceived as moving in. Maybe not technically moving in, but definitely making yourself at home.

Edit: Never too early to start communicating though:

"Hey, I have no plans today, and I want to make soup. Would it be cool if I cooked us some soup? I can head home afterwards so you don't get sick of me"

Or some variation. Point is, ask him, give him a chance to get on the crazy/chemistry train with you.